22 #2
I got the hint that I shouldn’t ask him any more about that girl or even mention the photo. Shit, sometimes I just can’t help myself.
We sat there in silence. I’d hoped the awkward distance after I mentioned his cousin would fade, but it didn’t.
There was no way back, and I was really pissed off with myself for bringing it up.
Just when Adrik finally started coming out of his shell and getting things off his chest, I dug a deeper hole and made him guarded again.
He’d slipped back into that silent, cold version of himself, the one that didn’t want to talk to me anymore. What the hell was wrong with me?
I exhaled and got up from the sofa.
“I should go now,” I sighed, feeling like an idiot for having messed up like this. “I had a nice time, thanks for . . . bringing me back and all.”
“Okay,” was all he said.
Okay, so he didn’t care I was leaving. He must be really pissed.
Great, Jude. What the hell had made me talk about his cousin/sister who was no longer around? Fucking hell, maybe I should’ve just kicked him in the balls.
I set the bottle down on the living room table as I was berating myself in my head.
I had no choice but to leave, because when you’re as proud as I am, you always walk away with your head held high.
Apologizing was simply out of the question.
Now, for first the time, I asked myself, Should I keep this up?
I realized I didn’t want to; there was something wrestling inside me and eager to break free. Just like whatever had pushed me to hug Adrik earlier. I was fighting the urge to tell him something I shouldn’t.
And what if I was making a huge mistake? Although, how would I know if I was making a big mistake or not?
Fuck . . .
Jude Derry stood up to any challenge. And now it was time for me to take on this one.
I anxiously turned around. Adrik kept looking out at the street, maybe waiting to hear the door shut.
“The things you said in the treehouse that night are true,” I said, trying to sound steady and calm, even though my stomach was churning and my heart was pounding.
“I’m hopeless. I’m unbearable. I’m a know-it-all who thinks I can do everything and that I’m stronger than everyone else.
I’m nagging and so fucking headstrong that the very thought of apologizing makes me feel sick.
Yet, despite all that, it’s not the end of the world if I’m wrong, just this once. I can admit I messed up.”
Adrik turned his head and threw me an interested look.
“How did you mess up?” he asked, calm and unsurprised. Surprisingly, he didn’t sound like he was mocking me or taking advantage of my sudden outpouring of honesty.
I swallowed hard, suddenly realizing how dry my mouth was. I was nervous.
“By not saying something I should have said,” I admitted, in a hushed voice.
Adrik shifted his position on the sofa. He was now looking at me attentively.
“And why didn’t you?”
I ran my hand down my arm, feeling exposed and vulnerable.
I looked away, flooded by a mix of doubt and nervousness, my heart racing even faster than before.
I was unsure if I should say it. I didn’t know what would happen if I did, but I had to be honest. It made my stomach churn.
If I didn’t get it off my chest, it would build up inside me and turn into something much worse.
I needed to do something, anything, to rid myself of this feeling.
If I could just do it right then, things would be far easier.
“Because I was afraid,” I admitted.
“What were you afraid of?” Adrik looked shocked, like he hadn’t a clue what I was trying to say. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“That . . .” I said, barely audible.
“What?” he encouraged me.
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath in. Let’s just say that I didn’t exactly sound sure of myself. I might have sounded vulnerable and doubtful at times, but at least I was honest.
“I liked our kiss, Adrik. Yeah, I liked it.”
There was a dead silence. The worst silence of my life. It was so intense, so meaningful, and yet so baffling that I turned to leave, because I swear, I thought he wouldn’t say a word, that he’d just tell me to fuck off . . .
But he suddenly came up to me and took my arm. He turned me around so we were standing face-to-face. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He shot me a strange look for a minute that sent a dizzying shudder coursing through me.
“Did saying it make you explode?” he said, sounding less indifferent than before.
“Don’t make fun of me,” I whispered, scowling. “You know me liking the kiss isn’t good, Adrik; it’s not good at all.”
I sounded heartbroken, and he picked up on it. He frowned, showing he didn’t quite agree. “Who said it can’t be?”
“You’ve got no idea . . .” I mumbled, overcome with guilt.
“You don’t know anything . . .” About the plan, about what I’m plotting behind your back, that I’m pretending.
It was highly likely that Adrik was in cahoots with Aegan, or that he knew I was only out to get his brother, but since he didn’t always act like a Cash brother, I didn’t know what to make of it—even less so when his hands cupped my face, insisting that I meet his gaze.
“What do I not know about? That you didn’t expect to like the idiot who shuts you up all the time?” he asked, hitting the nail on the head. “That’s what pisses you off? No big deal, shit happens.”
“I don’t like you, Adrik,” I replied, stupidly trying to convince him.
He pressed his lips tight and shot me a kind of stern look.
“Will you ever stop lying? To yourself and to me?” he complained.
“What?” I said, pissed, before letting out an absurd laugh. “And are you trying to say that you like me, even just a little?”
He didn’t respond right away. He let out a sharp breath through his nose, lost in thought. Maybe he was weighing whether to say something or not, but in the end he did.
“To be quite honest, I didn’t like you, Jude,” he admitted, serious and resolute. “I still don’t know how much I like you, but I’m going to find out what the hell is going on.”
Before my mind could catch up, he planted his lips on mine. He tilted my face toward his and kissed me, not as passionately as the first time, but slow, and gentle. It sent a shudder coursing through my entire body.
My plan had just gone out the window. Adrik’s lips carefully pulled back from mine, his slow, lingering touch setting my mouth ablaze.
His hands glided from my face to my neck, ran down my arms, before finally settling on my waist, pulling me in closer to him.
He then started kissing me more passionately than ever before, his tongue sliding deftly into my mouth to meet mine.
Fucking hell, this was the best kiss I’d ever had.
My heart had never raced like that before; I was a bundle of nerves and gagging for pleasure.
Nobody could make me shudder the way Adrik did with those skilled, deliberate movements.
Which is why I didn’t even realize that we’d moved.
Suddenly, Adrik had sat down on the sofa, and I was straddling him.
I cupped his face in my hands, drawing him closer and keeping our lips locked together.
I didn’t want to miss a single kiss, a single caress of his tongue.
It was delightful and new, like trying a dish for the first time that would go on to become a favorite of mine.
Adrik rested his hands on my ass and guided me closer to his body.
As soon as he did, a rush stirred in my belly, that familiar little flutter that comes when you’re really horny.
Not even thinking that could shame me. There was no other way to say it: I was, like, really horny.
He gently squeezed my ass, setting my pulse racing, before his hands slid up and under my top.
“Adrik, what . . . ?” I said, while kissing him, trying to stop him.
But that went out the window as soon as his fingers brushed my bare skin, sending yet another shiver coursing through my body. His touch was warm and soft, yet powerful. He squeezed my waist and teased my lips with tantalizing bites.
I had to draw a deep breath as a surge of sensations started to take over me. There was a painful throbbing between my legs.
His hands started going up further, caressing me with his palms. They felt huge on my torso. I felt like he could hold me in any position. So many scenarios were racing through my head that I shut my eyes as soon as his thumbs started touching the curves of my breasts.
“Do you want me to stop?” he whispered.
“No . . .” I groaned, barely audible.
“Oh, look, this is the first thing we’ve agree on,” he mumbled, devilishly cheeky.
He moved his hands up to one of my breasts, squeezed it gently, then went back for some more lip action.
He kissed me passionately, not holding himself back.
He then made his way down to my neck, where he kissed me gently, giving me little wet bites along the way.
I thought things couldn’t get any better, until his thumb and index finger pinched my breast, making me moan into his mouth. Now everything was fair game.
Adrik started taking off my T-shirt. I instinctively put my arms up to make it easier for him before he tossed it on the floor.
I was all his. I could feel the cool air coming through the window, on my skin.
He looked at my breasts, but I wasn’t embarrassed at all.
I loved seeing that spark of desire light up in his eyes, that tension in his jaw.
He liked what he saw. My body, not exactly one of the wonders of the world, still turned him on.
He was into me.