22 #3
But he did more than just look. With effortless agility, he shifted me until I was lying back on the sofa.
He settled between my legs, and I melted against him, like a puzzle piece sliding perfectly into place.
Then he pressed his pelvis against me, and I could feel just how hard he was under his trousers.
Knowing he felt the same way only turned me on even more, so I ran my fingers through his hair and drew him into a kiss.
He briefly teased my breasts before shifting his touch to something more intense.
I’d already . . . well, my first time was with an idiot I’d rather not mention, okay?
It wasn’t terrible, but it was nothing to write home about.
Actually, it was meaningless. I didn’t know what it was really like to be with someone until Adrik taught me the pleasure of having my breasts sucked.
I knew they could be really sensitive, but I’d no idea how explosive they could feel when touched, licked, and pinched by someone who could get me so worked up.
I let out a few soft moans until he lifted his face back to mine. I groped his chest. You could tell he worked out; he wasn’t exactly ripped, but he looked so hot. His skin was just begging to be touched all over. His arms, chest, and abs were rock-hard, and he felt huge on top of me.
I touched the chain that hung around his neck.
“What does it mean?” I asked him, whispering while fondling it.
He took my hand, making me release the pendant, and held it above my head in a commanding gesture.
“Nothing,” he replied, and then smothered me with a kiss that shut me up.
We spent a little while playfully kissing and biting each other.
Our bodies radiated a feverish, undeniable heat.
Our breathing was getting much quicker. As Adrik moved slightly against me, I could feel he was now harder and bigger than before.
I was starting to get wet down there. A wetness that was taking over my thoughts.
I wanted to know what he would feel like inside me, taming that delicious yet torturous pain.
I was certain it would feel like my cherry was being popped, because Adrik was far bigger than the idiot I slept with when I was seventeen.
I felt like digging my nails into his back. Adrik let out a few grunts, continuing to touch me all over my body, but my excitement levels were taken to a whole new level when his hand slid down my stomach and started unzipping my jeans.
And then I stopped him. I reacted before I even realized.
Something inside me was shouting, Come on, girl, what the hell are you doing?
I remembered. I came down to earth. I came crashing back down as quickly as I’d been pulled away from it, grabbing his hand just before he could start touching me down there.
If I let Adrik get that far then I’d be ruined.
If I let him give me such intense, unfamiliar pleasure, there’d be no turning back.
And there had to be a way back. I couldn’t just dive right in, no matter how much I was dying for us to rip off our clothes and get down to business.
I really wanted to let him do whatever he wanted to me, but something wasn’t right. I couldn’t. This wasn’t part of my plan, and I couldn’t deviate from it.
“No, this can’t happen, Adrik,” I blurted out quickly. “It can’t. I’ve got to go.”
I pushed him out of the way. He straightened up on the sofa, gobsmacked. His hair was all over the place, he was breathing quickly, and the huge bulge in his trousers was tempting me. But I bit my lip hard to hold myself back and stood up.
“What? Why?” he asked, stunned, following my every move as I lifted my shirt to slip it back on. “Did I do something you didn’t like?”
“No, it’s not that, Adrik, it’s just that it’s not right because . . .” I tried to explain, but between putting on my shirt and looking for my things, I could barely speak. “I’ve got to go.”
He got up and tried to stop me as I headed for the door. Fuck, he wanted to keep going. I wanted to go back to kissing him, wrap myself around him and stay up all night, but I held back. I’ve no idea how, but I managed to fight off the urge to hug him.
“Don’t leave, tell me what’s up,” he requested. He didn’t understand anything. I could tell from his eyes that he was really confused. “We’re adults, Jude. If you tell me, I’ll understand, and we can find a way to fix whatever is going on.”
Shit. I really liked him. I liked that he didn’t beat around the bush. I liked that he was direct, unfiltered, and didn’t play games.
He had no problem facing things head-on. Me neither, until I had to face him.
There was no denying that things had changed. I saw him in a new light, yet he was still the brother of the guy I was trying to destroy. He was a Cash.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice shaking. “I really am.”
I quickly went around him and left the apartment. I heard him calling my name. He told me to “wait” and “not to leave like this.” My heart was pounding, but I raced down the stairs, to get away from what was tempting me so much.
I’ve also read those stories where the guy leaves the girl for her own good. That’s what usually happens. Yeah . . . maybe it would’ve been easier to sleep with him and then have him leave without saying a word, simply because he didn’t want to hurt me with the ghosts of his past.
But, once again, things were different for me. Adrik wasn’t the problem.
And I also wasn’t running away to protect him; I was doing it to protect myself. Because he hadn’t lied . . .
I was the liar.