Chapter 7 #3
‘We have,’ Victor said. ‘She’s going to be called Dandelion, and she’s three months gone.
It’s a sad story, actually. Comes from a farm up in the Highlands.
Farmer had a stroke and can’t manage them anymore.
They’ve managed to rehome most closer to, but they’ve been struggling with Dandelion. Vet’s fees put people off, I imagine.’
‘Imagine how many people will want to come and see the baby,’ Zoe said. ‘You won’t be able to cope with all the visitors.’
‘I think I’ll keep it to myself for the foreseeable,’ Victor said, ‘for that very reason. I’m happy for bigger visitor numbers, but the most important thing is keeping the baby safe. Perhaps when it’s older, beginning of next year, I might be happy to advertise we have a young ’un at the farm.
‘Never had a pregnant one in with the others before – not sure what to expect.’
Zoe smiled. ‘If anyone can make it work, you can.’
Victor scratched his head and gave her a lopsided smile. ‘Appreciate that.’ He looked at his watch. ‘Sorry to shift you, young ’un’ – he looked at Maisie – ‘but if you want that lift, we ought to go. Corrine will be throwing my pie in the bin; I’m already late enough to have the crust burning.’
‘Oh, sorry…’ Maisie began to collect her things.
‘No need for sorry, only saying.’
‘I’ll see you at the weekend, yeah?’ Billie gave Maisie a brief hug.
Zoe was taken slightly aback and yet warmed by it.
In her experience, Billie wasn’t generally a hugger.
She wasn’t even one for being overly open with her emotions, so this was new.
Zoe wondered where it had come from – had Billie instigated this current state between them or had Maisie?
Either way, Zoe was delighted to see that the pairing she’d tentatively hoped would help both young women was taking them into a friendship she could never have seen coming.
‘Yes, if you’re up for it. Shall I come here?’
‘I’ll text you.’
Maisie nodded with a grateful smile, and Zoe had to wonder if this was becoming the most valuable relationship in her young life so far.
She was sure Maisie’s family loved her, of course, and that she must have friends of some description, but she didn’t seem to have people around her with any common sense.
Neither did the people around her appear to have her best interests at heart.
Perhaps Zoe was being too judgemental, and sometimes she told herself she was, but she had only ever acted on the evidence in front of her eyes in the way she thought best for the women in her care, and Maisie was no exception.
Zoe had thought Maisie needed more support than she had, and she’d wanted to help her get it.
She just never expected that support to come from Billie, who had gone from closed and damaged to open and caring in the most sudden and unexpected way.
With a great deal of bustle, Victor and Maisie bid everyone goodbye, and once they were gone, the kitchen seemed a good deal quieter. Apart from Grizzle, who’d been disturbed from a sleep in his basket and was now fussing around Billie. She stroked him absently as she looked up at her dad.
‘I’ll reheat the food now if you’re hungry.’
‘I’ll do it.’ He got up from his chair. ‘You cooked it; the least I can do is warm it up. Can I tempt you with another portion?’
‘You might be able to,’ Billie said. ‘For some reason, I’ve been starving this week. I could eat about ten meals a day.’
‘I think that might be called eating for two,’ Zoe said, giving her a playful nudge.
‘I’ll put so much weight on…’ she began to reply, until Zoe stopped her.
‘No! You’re beginning to sound like Maisie, obsessed with weight, and you know my feelings on that!’
‘Yeah, I know. I’m not that daft. Anyway, I don’t think I could diet even if I wanted to – I’m too hungry. I’d be walking down in my sleep to get food.’
An hour in the company of Alex and Billie had been enough to help Zoe forget about her dad’s upcoming nuptials. Almost. Or perhaps it was simply that Zoe had tried to forget and so had thrown herself into conversation so vigorously that it was easier to ignore.
‘I think…’ Alex said as he began to clear away the dishes from the table, ‘I might have found everything that’s out there.’
‘So you’re going to start building?’ Zoe sipped at her water. ‘The archaeologist is happy with that?’
‘They haven’t asked to come and dig, so…
’ Alex shrugged. ‘They did that survey thing… can’t quite remember what it’s called, but it’s the thing with radio waves or something.
Anyway, they did that and I’ve pulled up a few bits, and it’s all gone quiet.
I’d say that’s my cue to go ahead and start on the camping pods. ’
‘So,’ Billie put in, ‘you haven’t emailed him to check?’
‘Yes.’ Alex turned back with a grin. ‘Ye of little faith! I did email him, but he hasn’t replied, and that was about two weeks ago, so…’
‘I think Billie might have a point,’ Zoe said. ‘I mean, I see why you’d be happy to start; it’s been dragging on for a bit now—’
‘Longer than I thought,’ Alex said. ‘If I’d known how long it would take, I might not have reported the first find.’
‘Dad, if you’ve ever seen anything on the news, you’d know it takes ages to do these things.’
Alex turned to her with another wry smile. ‘Since when do you watch the news?’
‘I’m just saying!’
Zoe grinned now. ‘Watch it!’ she told Alex. ‘Pregnant woman. Hormones. Not to be messed with!’
‘Huh…?’ Alex dumped a pile of dishes into the sink.
‘Never mind,’ Zoe said, sharing a conspiratorial look with Billie, who opened her mouth to reply but then closed it with a slight frown.
‘Is that someone’s phone?’
‘Oh…’ Zoe held back a groan. ‘I think it might be mine. I left it in my bag by the door.’
‘Aren’t you going to get it?’ Alex turned back from the sink. ‘Usually you run for it when someone rings in case it’s one of your mums.’
‘Yes, I’m going to…’ Zoe got up. If either Billie or Alex thought she sounded reluctant, neither said so, though their silence as they watched her rifle in her bag spoke volumes. And as Zoe had feared, it was her mum on the line again. This time, she knew she’d have to answer.
‘Mum… how are you? Everything all right?’
‘No…’ her mum croaked. ‘I suppose you know about your dad and Chantal.’
‘Yes. He texted me earlier.’
‘I can’t believe it. Why? What does she want with an old man like him?’
‘He’s not that old.’ Zoe glanced back at Billie and Alex, who were obviously trying to look as if they weren’t listening, though she couldn’t see how they could do anything else. ‘They seem happy, Mum. I mean, I haven’t spoken to Chantal, but Dad seems happy.’
‘Well, I suppose he would be. Nothing changes there, does it? As long as he gets what he wants, doesn’t matter what it does to anyone else.’
‘Mum, what’s the difference? If he’s married or not, he’s still with Chantal. I’m sure he’s not trying to upset anyone, and there really isn’t a crime in wanting to be happy, is there?’
‘Lucky because I’d be in jail. All I want is to be happy, but I don’t get it.’
‘Mum—’
‘I suppose you’re going.’
‘To the wedding? I can’t really get out of it, can I?’
‘And you’re taking this fella I still haven’t met?’
‘I don’t know – I haven’t thought that far ahead. Dad hasn’t even booked anything yet, let alone sent out invites.’
‘So everyone I know will be there, celebrating with him, and I’ll be sitting here alone.’
‘I’m sure if you asked to come—’
‘Oh, she’d never have me there.’
Zoe couldn’t help but agree. Chantal wouldn’t want her mum there, and Zoe would hardly blame her for that. ‘Well,’ she continued lamely, ‘I’m sure not everyone you know is going to be there.’
‘You will be.’
‘He’s my dad!’
‘I know, I know… It’s just…’
‘It hurts. I get it.’
‘Yes. I’m sorry, Zoe. I hate to bring this to your door, but who else can I turn to?’
There was that guilt again, gnawing at Zoe’s soul. She realised she was going to have to get used to it because there was going to be a lot more where that came from.
‘Listen,’ she began, trying to brighten her tone. ‘Why don’t you come over this weekend? You’re right, you haven’t yet met Alex, and I’d like you to. We can have dinner together…’ She glanced at Alex, who nodded his agreement. ‘What do you think?’
‘I have been wanting to meet your new man, and you have kept on saying I could when you were sure of him.’
Zoe was sure of Alex. Very early on, she’d been sure of him – as certain as she’d ever been of anyone.
Alex had never been the problem, but she wasn’t about to tell her mum that.
‘Great,’ she said. ‘Listen, sorry, I have company now. I know you want to talk, but can I phone you later? Or tomorrow even? I’m not trying to put you off, but—’
‘Oh, of course, I didn’t realise you were with someone.’ There was a heavy pause. ‘It’s not your dad, is it?’
‘God no! I mean, no, I haven’t seen him for a good few weeks. He’s— Doesn’t matter.’
‘So it’s the same for you, is it? He has this new woman in his life, and soon he’ll have a new family, and already his old one is being forgotten.’
‘I’m sure it’s not like that. I suppose he’s busy. Truth is, I’ve been busy too.’
‘I’ve noticed.’
Zoe tried not to buckle under the weight of guilt that kept on getting heavier.
She tried not to think about it from day to day, but if she’d been pressed, she’d admit to neglecting both her parents since she’d come to Thimblebury, and it wasn’t only because moving here had made her life very full.
She always walked away from every interaction with either of them feeling like the worst daughter in the world, and yet she couldn’t help but think that she wasn’t at all.
But in their own way, both of them were so needy, and they often wanted more of her than she had the energy to give.
And so the easiest way to simplify her life and to ease those gnawing feelings of inadequacy was to avoid both her parents whenever she could.