Chapter 15
‘It might be those practice contractions, right?’ Billie paced up and down the kitchen as Alex raced to collect the hospital bag she’d packed only the day before, at Zoe’s insistence, from her bedroom.
‘You’ve been having them for a couple of weeks now,’ Zoe said. ‘So you’d know if they were the same, wouldn’t you? These are different, aren’t they?’
‘I think so. I’m not sure. I thought they were, but now…’
‘You wouldn’t have phoned if you didn’t think they were different.’
‘But what if I’m wrong and we go to the hospital for nothing?’
‘Billie…’ Zoe put an arm around her and pulled her close. ‘There’s no point in being in denial. If it’s time, then it’s time. I’m going to examine you before we go, but I think we both know that you know really. Trust your gut.’
Billie gave a faint nod. ‘You’re right. I don’t know why I was saying that. Zoe…’
‘Yes?’
‘I’m a bit… is it OK to be scared? Is that how everyone is? I mean, you see this all the time, right?’
‘I’ve never done it, though. If I ever do, I’m sure I’ll be scared too. It doesn’t matter how many births I’ve seen because seeing it and doing it are not the same. You have no clue what to expect – it’s natural you’re going to be nervous, and completely normal.’
‘I’m sorry you had to come back. Was the wedding nice?’
‘Lovely. A bit crazy, though.’ Zoe was about to elaborate when Billie’s expression became a grimace and she clutched at her belly. ‘Never mind that now,’ she said briskly. ‘Let’s take a look at you. Can you make it up to your bedroom so we can have a bit of privacy?’
Billie nodded. ‘I think so.’
But then Zoe decided she wasn’t so sure.
She called out to Alex. ‘Give us a minute in here? I have to take a look at Billie – I’ll call when we’re done!’
Alex’s reply was mostly muffled as it came from upstairs, but Zoe got the gist. She spread a towel onto the sofa and indicated that Billie should get comfortable on there.
A few minutes later, she completed her checks with a grin. ‘You’re going to have a baby, and I think we ought to get on the road ASAP. How long did you hang on before you called us?’
‘I don’t know… I didn’t like to disturb the service.’
Zoe tried not to roll her eyes. ‘It’s all academic now – we are where we are. Alex! You can come down now! We need to go!’
Alex returned with a bulging overnight bag. Zoe could see he was trying to stay calm for Billie’s sake, but inside he was obviously as nervous as she was. ‘Ready?’
Billie nodded. As Alex went out with her bag, she turned to Zoe. ‘You don’t mind that I’m having the baby at the hospital, do you? And not here?’
‘God, no!’ Zoe offered her most reassuring smile, supporting Billie as she led her to the door.
‘We’ve got time for the drive, and I’d much rather you were there!
I’m only too happy to help deliver, but this is your first, so I’m also happy to have a team around us and lots of hospital equipment.
Don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you. In fact, I’ll let you into a secret…’
‘What?’
‘I was scared you’d ask me for a home birth. Given who you are to me now, there would have been a lot of pressure on me to get every call right. I mean, there always is, but imagine how much worse it would have been!’
‘I never thought of that.’
‘Trust me, I did. Come on then – I imagine your dad’s getting impatient waiting at the car for us. We’d better go and have this baby!’
‘Unbelievable!’ Alex thumped his fist onto the car horn. ‘All the time we’ve lived here, I’ve never seen one single sheep anywhere near the road, and I was actually kind of disappointed… But the minute we need to get somewhere… A whole bloody flock of them! Right in the way.’
‘Should be careful what you wish for, Dad.’ Billie gazed balefully out of the window.
He gave the horn another blast. One or two of the fuzzy obstacles turned to look at the car, but they didn’t seem inclined to move, despite the alarming noise coming from it. ‘They really are the stupidest creatures…’
‘They’re unbothered, I’ll give them that,’ Zoe said.
‘Bloody hell…’ He got out of the car, leaving the engine running.
‘Do you think he’s stressed?’ Billie asked with an unmistakable note of sarcasm in her voice.
‘Whatever gave you that idea?’ Zoe replied, matching her energy.
‘You’re not stressed, are you?’
‘Not yet. I can’t say I won’t be happier when the sheep move, though.’
They both watched from the back seat of the car as Alex began to flap his arms, trying to shoo some of the sheep out of the way. It was almost comical to see how roundly they ignored him.
‘How are you doing?’ Zoe asked, turning her attention back to Billie.
‘I’m fine. It’s Dad we need to worry about. Look at him. God, I wish I could… hang on…’ She got out her phone and began to film him.
Zoe had to smile. It was good; it meant she wasn’t in too much pain yet and wasn’t panicking – which was more than could be said for poor Alex.
‘Wait till I show him this,’ Billie continued. ‘I’m going to keep it, and when the kid is older, I’m going to show them.’
‘It’ll certainly beat fusty old family snaps. Maybe I should go and help him. They don’t seem very bothered by him, do they?’
‘No. Dense, that’s why.’
‘Who? Your dad or the sheep?’
Billie grinned as she stopped filming. ‘It’s hard to tell right now, isn’t it?’
‘A bit. Don’t tell him I said that. I ought to go and help him.’
‘I think you might make it worse.’
‘How so?’
‘You might confuse them if there’s two of you shouting. They’ll move in a minute when they get bored of standing there.’
‘I wouldn’t be so sure of that. You’ve driven past fields of sheep before, right? They’re generally pretty static, aren’t they? You don’t see them racing around – why do you think they’re so fat?’
‘That’s the wool.’
‘Be that as it may, I’m going to see what I can do.’
Alex was busy wafting his arms at the head sheep. At least, it seemed to be the leader of the pack, though none of the others seemed to be paying it any heed.
‘What do you need me to do?’
Alex did a double take. ‘Where’s Billie?’
‘I sent her to the off licence for some beer. Where do you think she is?’
‘Sorry, I meant… is she all right in the car by herself?’
‘She’ll have to be for a minute. It seemed more sensible to leave her and lend a hand here than watch you try to do this on your own.’
‘See if we can get this one to move.’ He pointed at his target. ‘I don’t know… whatever you think will work.’
Zoe started to clap her hands as loudly as she could. Of course, it didn’t help. All it did was cause three or four of the sheep to turn and stare idly in her direction.
‘Who even owns them?’ Alex asked helplessly. He studied the road for a second. Perhaps he was hoping for another car to turn up to assist, but nobody was coming. ‘Maybe I can drive around them,’ he said finally.
‘There doesn’t look like much room. On that side of the road there’s definitely not enough space to pass…
the other one might be doable in a smaller car.
Might even be doable in yours, but if you get it wrong, there’s one hell of a deep ditch to fall into.
We might be able to get the sheep out of the way eventually, but if the car gets stuck there… ’
‘You’re probably right.’
‘Get in amongst them. We’ll try to separate them from the middle. We only need one or two to move just to make enough space for the car to get through.’
They waded through the sea of woolly bodies together and began herding the middle ones in an attempt to prompt a wholesale exodus. But as fast as they got one to budge, another repositioned into its place.
‘This is hopeless!’ Alex spun round, staring up at each hillside. ‘The owner must live somewhere nearby!’
‘We could phone Victor?’
‘And say what? “Hi, Victor, can you come and move some sheep because apparently I’m so useless I can’t.”’
‘No,’ Zoe replied patiently, ‘but I bet he knows some clever hack for moving them on.’
‘Oh…’ Alex’s expression cleared. ‘I see.’
At that moment, Billie decided to get out of the car. ‘I hate to ask, but could we get a move on? Things are getting a bit… well, I don’t know what it means, but things seem to be getting a bit worse.’
‘Worse how?’ Zoe asked sharply. ‘You’re all right? Does something feel off?’
‘Apart from a new human being wanting to come out of me?’ Billie growled, clearly in pain. ‘No, I’m absolutely buzzing, time of my life! But if I could just not have my baby in the middle of nowhere…’
‘No,’ Alex began, ‘but Zoe is here if—’ He was silenced by Billie’s scowl. ‘OK, not helpful. The man should shut up again?’
‘The man should move the sheep and get back in the car,’ Billie shot back.
‘That’s what we’re trying to do,’ Zoe said evenly, aware that patience was thin in all quarters right now.
Billie pressed a hand to the small of her back and waddled over.
She bent to the nearest sheep, glancing up at the sharp intake of breath from Zoe.
‘I think it’s a bit late for the don’t-go-near-livestock thing.
’ Then she turned back to the sheep. ‘Oi, fuzzy. Do you think you could get a move on? We’ve got somewhere to be.
’ She stood back and folded her arms, and was as roundly ignored as Zoe and Alex had been. ‘Ah well, it was worth a try.’
Zoe watched Billie carefully. She was remarkably calm, given the situation – calmer than Zoe would have foreseen. Was that a good thing? Either she was taking it all in her stride in a surprising way, or she was in denial over what was to come.
Alex slammed a hand onto the behind of the nearest sheep and gave it a shove. It looked round at him, impassive for a second, but then began to move. When it bumped into the nearest neighbour, that one took a step forward too.
‘That’s it!’ Alex declared. ‘We’ll have to get hands on! Billie’ – he looked up and nodded to the car – ‘get back in. By any means necessary, we’re going to get on our way in the next few minutes. Even if I have to take a few of these buggers along on the bumper.’
‘Dad!’
‘All right, I won’t hurt any of them, but I’m done with being subtle. Zoe…’
‘I’ve got it!’ she said, springing into action. As Alex had done, she shoved the sheep nearest to her.
At first, every one she prodded or pushed would only inch stubbornly forward, but after a few minutes she could see that, between them, she and Alex were beginning to create gaps.
They got into each one to widen it by ushering the sheep further apart, shoving, shouting, cajoling…
any tactic they could think of. Eventually, the group began to split into two halves, moving towards opposite sides of the road.
But the moment the first one realised what was happening, they all began to change direction towards each other, threatening to bring them back to one, solid, impassable bunch once again.
And so Alex capitalised on the momentum and got behind them all, whistling, shouting, waving his arms like mad until finally they formed a higgledy queue and began to trot away.
‘Right!’
He raced to the car, Zoe on his heels.
‘Not too fast going by!’ she warned as he started the engine. ‘You don’t want to spook them and end up scattering them all over the road again!’
‘I know!’ Alex snapped.
Zoe said nothing in reply. His tone hadn’t bothered her, and in the circumstances, she’d barely noticed it anyway. Even if she had, it would be easy to forgive some impatient tension.
Instead, she turned her attention to Billie. ‘How are you doing?’
Billie gave a stiff nod. ‘I’m OK. It’s starting to hurt a lot…’ Her voice was strangled as she asked her next question: ‘You don’t think the baby will come before we get there, do you?’
‘Of course not,’ Zoe soothed, though she could guarantee no such thing. What she loved about her job – the unpredictability of it – was also the thing that sometimes made it tough.
‘Because I don’t want to have it here…’ Billie continued as if she hadn’t heard Zoe’s reply.
In an instant, the calmness Zoe had just been marvelling at had evaporated.
Billie looked now exactly what she was: a young woman about to have her first baby, miles from where she needed to be with no real clue what to expect.
There were antenatal classes, bits of healthcare advice from all over the place and online forums galore, but when it came down to it, none of that was enough to make a woman in Billie’s shoes completely ready.
Then the mask slipped and she began to cry.
‘I can’t do it. Zoe, I’m so scared. I can’t do it… ’
‘You can. It’s scary now, but it will be all right. In a few hours your baby will be in your arms, and it will be the best feeling ever.’
‘It won’t. I said I was going to keep it, but…’ Billie heaved in a sobbing breath. ‘I wish Luis was here! I just want… I’d give anything to hold his hand now. He’d make everything all right. I can’t do it without him…’
Zoe hugged her. ‘I can’t replace Luis, and you don’t know how sorry I am for what you lost. Nobody will ever be able to give you what he did, but if he could see you now, I’m sure he’d be so proud. Whatever happens, you’ve got me and your dad, and we’ll do our best by you, always.’
Billie let her head fall against the seat, breathing through gritted teeth. And then Zoe noticed that the sheep were behind them. Alex put his foot down.
‘Bar anything else’ – he glanced in the rear-view mirror to catch Zoe’s eye – ‘it shouldn’t take us long to get there.’
Zoe nodded. It was fine. Everything was going to be fine. She’d had two emergencies in the past few weeks, two difficult births and that was quite enough. She wasn’t about to let Billie be the third.