CHAPTER THIRTEEN #2
Well, the important thing was not to spill my guts and tell her just how often I’d daydreamed about her.
About the sundresses she always wore, the way her hair gleamed in the summer sunlight.
The way I’d tasted her lips but yearned for a taste of something sweeter – the kind of sweetness that came with a bed, warm skin and soft gasps into the air.
‘Patrick?’
I blinked.
Jessy was grinning. ‘Lost you there for a moment.’
‘You could never lose me,’ I said before I could stop myself.
‘Good.’
Something stirred deep within me. Ever since we’d agreed to stop pretending, the chemistry between us had only heightened. The desire that had felt like a deep wave pulling me in now felt like a tsunami smashing through me. My every thought was consumed with Jessy.
‘Thank you.’ Jessy smiled politely at the waiter who had come to collect our plates.
‘My pleasure, mademoiselle,’ the waiter murmured back. ‘And shall I bring over the dessert menu?’
Jessy’s lips parted, but I got there first.
‘No need,’ I said graciously. ‘We’ll take two of everything.’
‘Of … everything.’ The waiter’s eyes bulged as Jessy attempted, and failed, to stifle a giggle. I tried not to feel too proud of myself.
I nodded sagely. ‘Yes, please.’ I waited for him to leave before turning my eyes back to Jessy.
I tried to slow my breathing. What is she doing to me?
Had she put that body glitter stuff on her shoulders, or was that just the way her skin shimmered in the candlelight? Looking at her felt like gazing upon some great maestro’s work. She was more than just beautiful, she was ethereal.
And right now, she was mine.
‘So, what was I saying?’ Jessy pressed her lips together, an adorable expression on her face as she tried to pick the conversation back up.
‘Yeah. We probably would never have even met pre-fame. Maybe it’s better that it went this way?
’ She cleared her throat. ‘Obviously I didn’t expect to meet in person, when we were on Butterflies – and then when I realized you weren’t just some guy called Paddy, but one of the world’s hottest men according to –’
My loud groan only sparked laughter.
‘What! That’s what you were voted!’
‘Never remind Derek of that. I think I’ve finally got him to forget it,’ I said, jokingly threatening, the twist of joy at her laughter making it hard not to laugh along with her.
As the desserts began to arrive, Jessy continued. ‘I’m just saying – we never expected to meet this way. But I’m glad we did.’
Fuck, that felt good to hear. ‘You are?’
Without hesitating, she responded, ‘I am.’
I reached out across the table, avoiding the stacks of desserts I wasn’t sure we would ever manage to finish.
But Jessy was already reaching for me.
The moment our fingers entangled, I knew. This wasn’t just some deal Derek had concocted to save face – some mutually beneficial situationship.
This was something more. More than I’d ever had with Celine. More than I’d known before.
Everything I shared with Jessy was new, fresh – utterly unique.
Her sister and best friend hadn’t needed to demand anything from me. I wasn’t going to hurt Jessy. I couldn’t imagine it. I wasn’t going to do anything that could risk this feeling.
It made me want to pull out my phone and start tapping out more lyrics. The writer’s block was well and truly gone, and all I’d needed was a gorgeous woman to cure it – which was perhaps a little pathetic.
Or perhaps it was inspiring. Perhaps all the poets had this, all musicians: that moment when you looked at someone and their smile held all the comfort of a home that you’d never known.
I was pulled out of my musings by the buzzing of my phone.
‘I thought you put it on silent?’ Jessy teased as I took it out of my pocket – again.
‘I thought I had – but this piece of crap is dying on me.’ I glared at my phone. Derek had tried to get me to replace it with some new, fancier model, but I was the type to hold on to something until the wheels had fallen off.
Incoming call: Unknown (Cassie Fletcher?)
Fuck off.
I declined the call. I really needed to figure out how to block her number.
‘Who’s Cassie?’
My blood ran cold. Slowly, I lifted my head to meet Jessy’s gaze.
Her cheeks were pink now, and she obviously felt a little awkward asking – but she’d seen the name on my phone.
Great.
‘No one.’
‘She has to be someone: she’s been trying to get through to you for our entire date,’ Jessy pointed out, entirely reasonably, as my mind raced. ‘Friend?’
‘No.’ Not a lie.
Something strange flashed in Jessy’s eyes before her expression shuttered off. ‘Is she an ex? Or someone you were seeing before we –’
My phone screen flashed again in my hands.
Incoming call: Unknown (Cassie Fletcher?)
I hit decline call.
‘I’m not seeing –’
‘Because she seems pretty persistent,’ Jessy said, her voice growing colder. ‘And I can’t imagine that many people have your number.’
Incoming call: Unknown (Cassie Fletcher?)
Decline call.
‘She shouldn’t have my number.’ This was getting stupid. ‘Look, let’s talk about –’
‘You do remember that you’re not supposed to be dating anyone else, don’t you?’ Jessy’s tone was pointed with accusation.
Fuck, how had this gone so wrong?
Incoming call: Unknown (Cassie Fletcher?)
‘Fuck off, Cassie,’ I muttered under my breath, losing all patience.
There. Phone turned off. Try and call me now.
When I looked up, feeling more than a little triumphant that I had put an end to the constant interruptions, it was to see Jessy looking less than impressed.
She had her arms crossed. ‘Is that how you’re going to treat me, when all this is over? Telling me to fuck off?’
I fought the instinct to swear again. ‘No.’
I had to be fair to her: she didn’t know the context, and from the outside looking in I could see how Jessy had got the wrong idea. But still, I had hoped she knew me better than that.
‘Because I can’t think what this Cassie woman could have done –’
‘Yeah, well, that’s because you don’t know shit,’ I snapped, my temper like an exposed fuse whenever Cassie tried to get her claws back into my life. ‘I don’t want to talk about it. Please drop it.’
It was the wrong thing to say. Jessy’s eyes widened – in shock, in hurt, I didn’t know.
‘I just asked –’
‘No, you didn’t – you kept asking, and I told you I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about her,’ I said stiffly, trying desperately to remind myself that it wasn’t Jessy’s fault the woman had been such a terrible mother. ‘And I told you, she’s not an ex, she’s –’
‘Right, and I’m supposed to believe you when you react like that,’ Jessy said, her voice sharp. ‘I just –’
‘You just nothing.’ My self-control slipped through my grasp. ‘You’re not my girlfriend. You don’t get to dictate who I do or do not talk to – we are not actually in a relationship, remember?’
The words hung in the air around us, casting a pall over the whole table.
Was it my imagination, or was the restaurant somehow … quieter than before?
I glanced around, tension sharpening every one of my nerves, but no one seemed to have heard. Thank fuck – I did not want to know what Derek would have to say about me revealing to the world that the whole Patrick-Tetlow-dating-Jessy-Donovan thing was all fake.
But when my gaze turned back to Jessy, my stomach lurched.
She was pulling on her jacket.
‘Jessy –’
‘I’m tired,’ she said curtly. ‘I’m going back to the hotel.’
‘Jessy – fuck, I’m sorry, it’s just –’
‘You just nothing,’ Jessy said brightly, though her eyes were far too brilliant, glittering far too brightly.
Was she – crying? ‘You’ve made it perfectly clear what this is all about for you, and since we’ve gone over our quota, you don’t have to worry about seeing me again for almost a week. Have a good one.’