CHAPTER SIXTEEN #2
This was not part of the plan. This had never been part of the plan.
Fake dating, sure. Pretend to be into each other, not hard. Attend industry events, I was hardly going to say no. Not if it meant more time with Patrick.
But this?
No one had ever said anything about having to talk to journalists. Interviews, sound bites, all that shit – that was something Patrick had to do.
‘I-I –’ I swallowed. ‘I can come back later, I didn’t realize you – sorry.’
‘No! No.’ Patrick rose to his feet, and I took the chance to take him in. Dressed all smartly in dark trousers and a crisply ironed shirt, but with the sleeves rolled up to show those delicious forearms – he was a vision.
Patrick stepped closer, looking intently at me.
‘No, stay,’ the woman was saying behind him.
‘Come and sit by me.’ Patrick’s voice was low, and it ran through me, warming me up from the inside.
Hearing it there, in front of the journalist, did something strange to my legs.
Without thinking, I moved towards the sofa, Patrick’s hand resting on the small of my back.
‘We won’t be long, just a few more minutes.’ He slipped his arm fully around me as I sank into the plump cushions. ‘You don’t have to say anything. This interview is about me, not us.’
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the journalist wilt.
Well, hey – if all he wanted was for me to sit beside him, that I could do.
The warmth of his arm around me was enough to calm the nerves I had thought were going to send me into a panic. I breathed him in, his scent calming like nothing else, and felt my heart rate slow.
‘This is Gina Heart. She’s interviewing me ahead of our Southeast Asia tour,’ Patrick said politely, all smooth and professional.
I tried to smile, even as my spirits sank.
The Southeast Asia tour. Somehow, I had completely managed to forget that after the Songwriter Awards, after our contract had come to an end, Patrick wouldn’t be able to keep seeing me. He wouldn’t even be staying in the country.
The reminder of the hard, and fast approaching, end to our agreement made me nauseous.
Patrick would be gone, and I’d be left here, left to my real life. It was going to feel so empty without him.
In that moment, I realized I wanted him all to myself. Why should I have to share him when I had such little time with him already?
Unaware of my racing thoughts, Gina picked up the interview where they’d left off.
‘So, Patrick, we were talking about the lyrics on your latest album,’ Gina said, effortlessly shifting back into interview mode. ‘I know our readers will be fascinated to learn about the lyrics of ‘Adventure’. It’s a song that I think is quite close to your heart, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, that was a song that came together in just one day,’ Patrick said, his voice level and warm, just enough to be professional, and just distant enough to ensure that this Gina woman wouldn’t get any ideas –
Not that I was paying attention.
‘I think the central message of that song is the realization that, actually, to live is itself the greatest adventure,’ Patrick continued. ‘The choices you make; the decisions that take you down different roads … I am the greatest adventure that I will ever take.’
It was so … so lyrical. So thoughtful.
Here was another part of Patrick I had never known – had guessed at, sure, but to hear him speak about it so eloquently, so calmly, and without any preparation, without knowing what questions he would be faced with …
My admiration of him, if possible, grew. I couldn’t imagine being able to pull words together so beautifully.
‘And I know our time is over, but I just wanted to ask one more question, if I may,’ Gina said, making sure her phone was angled towards him. Towards us.
Patrick nodded. ‘Sure.’
‘It hasn’t escaped your numerous fans that you’re in a new romantic relationship,’ the journalist said brightly, gaze flickering curiously at me. ‘Butterflies, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes. It’s a great app,’ Patrick said easily, no hint of embarrassment on his face. ‘Jessy’s sister, Laura, created it, and it’s really impressive stuff. Everyone should check it out.’
Laura was going to go nuts when I told her about this.
‘I know Ms Donovan won’t be answering questions –’
‘She won’t,’ Patrick interjected quietly.
It felt addictive, to be so protected.
‘I just wondered if you could give us something, Patrick, anything about Jessy and your new relationship,’ Gina said determinedly.
I mean, it was her job.
Before I could stop and think how this would look, I placed a hand on Patrick’s thigh and gave him a small smile.
His smile was bigger, warmer, and it made my cheeks burn, my eyes dropping at the intensity of his gaze.
‘Jessy is … Jessy is someone that I am enjoying spending a lot of time with,’ Patrick said softly, looking at me all the while. ‘And I’m enjoying that time. That’s all I’ll say.’
Is that it? I was aware of a haze of movement around me as Gina finished her recording and said something about sending for approval in a week. But I didn’t hear any of it.
‘I’m enjoying that time. That’s all I’ll say.’
I wanted him to say more. Mean more, feel more – but I couldn’t ask that of him.
I was just someone who was convenient. Someone he had to spend time with, contractually. So why not indulge and blur the lines?
The snap of a door. I blinked.
Gina had gone.
Patrick exhaled slowly as he leaned back on the sofa. ‘Well, that’s done. The whole world will be reading it soon enough.’
It was a weird thought. ‘Seriously, the whole world?’
‘Yeah, that stuff gets everywhere. Cassie once said –’ Patrick bit himself off before he could finish.
Curiosity welled within me, and though I knew full well he wouldn’t want to talk about it, I found myself asking, ‘You don’t miss her at all?’
‘Miss her?’ Patrick shrugged, and I could see the pain in the supposed nonchalance. ‘I miss what she should have been. The mother she couldn’t bring herself to be.’
For a moment, Patrick somehow became younger, more open.
He cleared his throat. ‘That was then. This is now. And right now, I am just relieved that the interview is over.’
‘You were amazing,’ I found myself saying with far more warmth than he was clearly expecting.
The disbelief was written large across his face as he laughed. ‘Yeah, sure.’
‘No, really. That whole “adventure is the journey you go on with yourself” bit?’ I placed my hand on his. ‘It was amazing. How could I not be impressed?’
He was flushing, those gorgeous cheekbones brushed with soft pink. ‘It’s just music. Not rocket science.’
I laughed for real at that. ‘Erm, yeah, sure. You’re just creating the soundtrack to the lives of millions. No big deal.’
His eyes widened at my words. What, he seriously didn’t know?
‘Patrick, you …’ I swallowed, conscious of the way his fingers curled around my waist as I said his name. ‘Patrick,’ I repeated, and almost moaned as he did it again. ‘You’re creating a … a legacy, I guess. Something left on this planet long after you’re gone.’
‘We’re hardly the Beatles,’ he protested, but this time with a light smile on his face.
‘You don’t know that! You don’t know what you’ll create, you – we’re both so young,’ I said enthusiastically. ‘There’s so much of your life ahead of you, so much you’ll come up with. What better way to spend a life?’
Silence fell between us for a moment. A warm, cosy silence I’d only ever known with Patrick.
‘It’s a pretty cool thing to spend a lifetime doing,’ I said softly.
Patrick shrugged. ‘What else is there?’
Well, that was the question, wasn’t it? If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn’t be stuck colour-coding Karun’s spreadsheets and listening to Cathy gossip about her neighbours.
‘I … I thought working in finance was the thing I’d spend my life doing.
I know it sounds boring,’ I added, giggling at the expression on Patrick’s face.
‘But numbers … they’re all organized and sorted and balanced, and it gives me such a kick to see them like that.
But working at GSR – I don’t know. It’s not what I thought. ’
And it scared me. Thinking about feeling that unfulfilled for the rest of my life.
‘Honestly, though, I don’t think I’m good at much else,’ I said with a shrug of my own. ‘I don’t think I’ve found my place in the world. Not yet.’
‘You’ll find something,’ he said quietly. ‘You’re too brilliant not to find something.’
‘Charmer.’
‘Maybe.’ Patrick grinned. ‘Maybe I should write a song about you.’
My giggles filled the hotel suite. ‘Don’t you dare.’
‘Why not? You might like –’
‘Absolutely not!’ Laura and Anna would love it, but the thought had me mildly horrified. Besides, what would he even write about? Our fake-but-kind-of-not relationship? Yeah, that wouldn’t go down well.
‘You wouldn’t like one?’ Patrick’s face was teasing, his eyes sparkling with danger. ‘You don’t want to be immortalized as one of my conquests?’
‘I think you’ll find that’s “many conquests”,’ I shot back with a laugh. ‘And I do not want to be included in that list.’
‘Why not?’
Crap, why couldn’t I explain this? Becoming part of a These Exiles album, written out there for the whole world to see? ‘You don’t owe me a song. I’ll never need one.’
Patrick’s smile softened his expression. ‘You are quite something, you know.’
Before I could reply, the door opened.
‘Sorry, Mr Tetlow, but another journalist has arrived,’ said the receptionist with an apologetic expression. ‘I said you were done for the day, but –’
‘But Derek left instructions, I bet,’ Patrick said throwing me an exasperated look. ‘Send them on in.’
When the door shut, he turned to me. ‘I’m sorry, Jessy. Lunch will have to wait.’
‘That’s OK,’ I said, rising and hating the distance I’d created between us. ‘I’ll just –’
‘Where do you think you’re going?’ Patrick’s face held a look of genuine confusion. ‘I need you to stay.’
I sank bank on to the sofa and into Patrick’s arms. ‘Are you sure? I don’t have to –’
‘I’m sure,’ Patrick said with a soft smile. ‘I need you here, with me.’
‘AND THIS IS ME,’ I said with a smile, turning to gaze up at the man who had suddenly come over all chivalrous. Not that Patrick wasn’t usually every part the gentleman, but this was a little excessive. ‘You didn’t have to walk me all the way to my door, you know.’
‘I was instructed to make sure you got home safely.’ Patrick shrugged, a strange sort of mischievous smile on his face. ‘And I wouldn’t dare upset the very scary lady who asked.’
We’d stopped outside my hotel room door, the long corridor empty, and I let out a soft laugh, the moment too fragile for anything louder. Scary lady? There was only one person that could be. ‘Anna?’
Patrick didn’t answer. He stepped forward instead, a look in his eye that had me pressing up against the door behind me for support. That heat, that need –
‘Patrick –’
‘She and your sister made me swear I wasn’t going to hurt you,’ Patrick murmured, his gaze sweeping down my body before returning to my eyes. ‘And I’m not.’
Breathing. Breathing, I remembered, breathing. I should do some of that. ‘You’re not?’
He shook his head slowly. ‘No. But I am going to kiss you.’
There was no time to argue – not that I was going to. Patrick’s kiss was swift, sharp and demanding, and my hands were already curling in his hair, pulling him closer.
All higher thinking fled my mind as Patrick’s hips pressed up into mine, pinning me to the door, his hands first cupping my face but swiftly moving to cup –
‘Patrick,’ I breathed, arching my breasts into him.
His lips had travelled down to my neck as he murmured something into the hollow there, his voice jagged, but I couldn’t hear him over the pounding in my ears.
His lips returned to press against mine, teasing them open, his tongue plunging into my mouth just as his hand somehow found its way under my top, under my bra, my whole body roaring with need as his thumb brushed my nipple.
I needed this. I needed him. We’d held back so long, but we weren’t holding back now – somehow my fingers had crept under his shirt, and I felt wiry hair that only made the need burn brighter in me.
Patrick’s tongue had pleasure roaring through me and I whimpered in his arms, legs weak, willing to give him anything, anything he asked for –
‘And what time do you call this?’ came a far too familiar voice.
I froze. Patrick froze. Kissing me, which was rather delightful … but considering his hand was quite literally in my bra, my cheeks couldn’t help but burn as I pulled my hand from his shirt and turned to see … Laura.
My sister, standing in my hotel room doorway. With her arms crossed.
‘Laura,’ I said weakly as Patrick removed his hand and tried to smile. ‘I – I completely forgot. Pizza night.’
‘Pizza and Temptation Hotel night, yeah.’ My twin grinned, her gaze ping-ponging between the two of us through her smudged glasses. ‘Now scram, Patrick, this is a “no boys allowed” kind of party.’
I looked at Patrick. ‘Sorry, I –’ Regret laced my voice. I was getting really sick and tired of being interrupted.
‘No, it’s fine. I’ll see you Wednesday.’
Patrick stepped back towards me quickly and brushed a slow, delectable kiss to my lips before turning to walk down the corridor. It was all I could do to hold on to the wall for support and try to ignore my sister’s hysterical laugh.