Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Xander
The forest is calm, and a gentle breeze sweeps over my skin. The warmth of the sun is welcome as the dank air of the forest fades.
I reach down to where I feel a weight against me and pull Noah closer to my side. But my hands drift over bulging hard muscle, and the scent of mint rolls through my nose. Something’s wrong.
My eyes snap open and I'm gasping for breath. The sounds of the world slam into me, and I flinch at the deafening roar of the beast. I can’t blink as I take in the sight before me.
With bloody wounds and snapped bones, the beast still manages to stand.
But it’s the small form with auburn hair at its feet that has every ounce of my focus.
Panic strikes through me as Noah’s scent fades by the second and his heart no longer beats.
The Soultracker looms over him like a vision of death, its jaws impossibly wide as it pounces for my mate.
Scrambling, I throw myself across Noah’s body, shielding him with myself.
And the beast doesn't hesitate as it flies through the air, hands outstretched and teeth gnashing.
I raise a futile fist across Noah, knowing there's nothing I can do now.
But at least neither of us will be alive to feel the pain of grief.
I wait for the flash of pain, for the indescribable pressure of bones snapping and flesh tearing, but it doesn’t come. Instead, it's something far worse. Something I never saw coming.
Tyler crawls on his hands and knees with blood covering his body and his face pale as paper, but his eyes glow with dark magic. The same kind that created this beast.
Cole is frozen in his spot, his eyes glued to the witch who hisses in Latin, his lips molding around foreign sounds and phrases.
My gaze turns to the beast, whom I find to be only inches from us, suspended in midair. With its jaw wide open, I can see right down its disgusting throat. It whines and tries to reach for Noah, but every attempt is useless.
Tyler’s voice rises, and the beast howls in agony as its bones begin to crack and bend in angles that has my stomach revolting. “You need to kill it!” Tyler cries out as he slumps to the floor, fighting for every drop of consciousness before he fades.
I don’t hesitate. It might have been the first thing I've done right since meeting Noah. Banding my arms around the beast’s throat, I squeeze and I don't let go. I can feel its slimy blood seeping across my skin, the stickiness of the pus that explodes from welts, but I press harder. A growl rips through me as I find the perfect angle and twist. The snap of the beast’s spine is like a clap of thunder.
It’s a sound I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.
Every ounce of strength dissolves from the creature, its life fading into nothing. Tyler slumps to the floor, and Cole cradles him closely before speeding into the depths of the forest without another word.
I fall to my knees beside Noah, my hands trembling as I clutch at his tiny, cold frame.
He’s cold. Too cold. Pulling his form against myself, I weep.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I bury my face into his curly hair, sucking in lungfuls of his fading scent.
It’s so faint. As if he's miles away from me. Too far for me to reach.
“No, no, little mate. Come back to me,” I sputter and squeeze his lifeless body tighter, desperate to feel his arms wrapping around mine.
To hear the steady thump of his heart and to be consumed by his scent.
But as each second ticks by, I know I've missed that window. It was gone long before I even came to.
He died alone. My mate’s last memories were of fear and abandonment. I wasn’t with him at the time I most should have been. I’ve failed him beyond comparison.
As if on instinct, I tilt his head back and expose his neck.
Noah’s dark lashes catch the light and I expect them to flutter as he wakes, but they don't. His cheeks are no longer their usual rosy tone and his lips are gray. He’s still perfect.
His beautiful pale skin shines back at me as I lick up the shell of his ear and sink my fangs into his throat.
I’m not gentle when I drink. I gulp down mouthfuls of his essence, tasting the last of his memories, his emotions, as they flood into me.
I can also taste his love and joy and it makes me whimper harder.
His entire being floods through me as I memorize every detail of Noah.
He consumes me as much as I consume him.
Drag after drag, I drain his body, taking everything last drop I can get until my venom pours from my fangs and seeps into my mate.
Flooding his arteries and veins, licking at his muscles and flesh.
I trace every cell I can find and fill it with myself.
I push further, releasing more and more of my venom into his tiny body cradled in my arms. Filling his DNA and washing away everything I once knew of this little human.
His scent fades until it is swept away in the wind, and his body hardens as the final breath of life ebbs from his soul.
“P-Please, Noah. Please c-come back to me,” I gasp as I retract my teeth from his neck. My tongue slashes my lower lip as I expect blood to follow the wound, but instead nothing comes. He’s gone. There’s nothing left to bleed. Just four empty holes in his skin, void of life.
A hand grasps my shoulder, and I turn to find Cassius mournfully looking down at Noah. Ambrose pulls himself from the forest floor and rushes to my side, his fingers clutching the back of my neck as he whimpers.
Milo is close by as he watches behind Cassius with wide eyes; his lower lip quivers. But it’s Harlan who falls to his knees, his hands cupping Noah’s face as he dips his forehead to meet my mate's. Gasps and cries bubble from him as he weeps over my mate.
It’s a chorus of pain. A pain that I don't think I'll ever escape. It will follow me to the ends of the earth and into death.
“Noah,” Harlan sputters, as tears stream down his cheeks. “Y-you can’t go. Please, N-Noah.”
The mountain holds its breath. The sun pauses on the horizon, and a heartbreaking wail escapes Harlan’s throat.
Time no longer moves for me. I feel arms holding me up as my feet trudge along. Yet all I can focus on is Noah’s weight in my arms. I can’t let him go. His weight is all I have left.
The beast is long forgotten, left to rot into the earth. Murmurs break through the ringing in my ears, but I feel like I'm walking 10 miles above myself.
I don’t even remember leaving the mountain or stepping into my house. For a fraction of time, I'm standing in Noah’s room with his lifeless body in my arms. His scent is stale, but it still clings to the walls.
I find the softness of his sheets drifting across my skin, and the rhythmic movements of my fingers stroking his hair, as I climb into the center of his bed and lie there with him against my chest and my nose buried in his pillow, sucking in mouthfuls of that vanilla scent. I don’t think I can breathe without it.
The pain in my chest feels far away, as if my body doesn’t quite register my grief. It’s a strange feeling. To be so close to the man I love, yet to be so utterly alone.
Yet my mind is cruel as it plays tricks on me. For a second, I see his chest rising and falling, or his finger twitching. But as my heart gallops and a flicker of hope explodes inside of me, I realize nothing’s changed. He hasn’t moved. He isn’t waking up, and he isn’t coming back to me.
The sun rises, and then it sets. The moon drifts across a starry sky, but I can't find myself to look up at it. All I can think is that I'm losing my final day with him. The day he was alive is leaving me and there's nothing I can do about it.
Silver light fades and pink kisses the horizon, but all I see is Noah. He’s that sunrise. Birds chirp, and I wonder if they might have dreamed of him.
I hear soft voices beneath me as my colony speaks in hushed tones. Harlan hasn’t said a word, and Ambrose has disappeared. Milo’s words are fractured, but Cassius understands him well enough.
“Bury… Cremate…”
I know what they are talking about, and I know I'll have to face it soon, but for now, I cradle Noah against my body, holding him tight and shielding him from anything else that's terrible in this world.
I wonder if he can feel my arms around him from wherever he might be.
I wonder if he knows I haven't taken my eyes off him since the mountain.
Or if he knows how shattered the others are.
Hours pass and I’m numb. My body shakes with exhaustion, but I can’t let go of Noah. I can’t take my eyes away from his sleeping features. With his eyes open and his jaw slack, he looks so peaceful, as if he truly is fast asleep.
The afternoon dies as the sun fades, and something moves across the sheets. I gasp; my heart jolts. Did he move!? Is he alive!?
Meow?
My soul sinks, and my heart breaks all over again.
Perched at my side, Pumpkin looks down at Noah.
His wide feline eyes take in Noah’s face as he gently presses a paw against his shoulder.
It’s a silent question. And my breath grows stuttered as I watch the pain flicker through Pumpkin’s gaze.
He meows again. This time it’s filled with agony.
I groan as pain laces my chest and I feel my heart is about to shred itself in two. One half for Noah and the other for his cat. His cat, who will never understand why his owner isn’t responding. Why his owner’s scent will fade and why he will never hear his owner's voice.
God, his voice. Noah’s beautiful voice will never echo through this house. I’ll never hear it again as I wake up. I’ll never hear the other wonderful sounds he makes when he hums to himself or when he giggles. Or when he’s lost in the throes of our love.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, petting Pumpkin’s head as the cat sinks into Noah’s side, his whiskers twitching. “I’m so, so sorry.”