Chapter 18
I squinted in confusion at the bright daylight.
What the hell time was it? I tried to shift on my mattress and realized with a start, I wasn’t alone.
I twisted in a panic, first checking to make sure I was still clothed and then to see who the hell was in bed with me.
My fear faded as quickly as it came when I saw Sam curled up behind me, his arm draped over my ribs as he lightly snored.
We’d cried together for a long time and apparently fallen asleep.
It was the first night in recent memory I hadn’t had a nightmare.
My heart swelled. It was strange to know that I loved him.
Not in a romantic way, but I did love him.
I loved everyone on my crew, but I felt connected to Sam in a way I hadn’t felt since Dune died.
I stayed half-propped up for a moment, but I didn’t need to get up yet, so I lay back down and closed my eyes.
It was nice to feel another body curled around me.
It was only a couple minutes later that Sam suddenly jerked awake, scaring the shit out of me.
I twisted to look at him. He was sitting up, his short hair sticking in every direction, and staring at me with a comical mix of confusion, shock, and panic.
He glanced down at his body, seeming to relax when he saw he was still fully dressed.
“That’s the first thing I did, too,” I said, my voice hoarse with sleep, but that insane smile crept over my face.
His eyes narrowed. “Did you lure me into your bed, you siren?”
“I’m pretty sure this is your fault.”
“Well, you can stop looking so damn pleased by it,” he grumbled, but his eyes looked lighter than they had yesterday. He glanced up at the window, looking as confused by the daylight as I was. “What time is it?”
“I have no idea. Did you know you snore?”
He turned back to glare at me. “Yes, Jax loves to complain about it.”
“It was kinda cute.” I fully grinned now as he blinked at me, eyes widening in outrage. “Like a little baby snoring.”
“You know it would take very little effort for me to smother you with this pillow.”
I dissolved into silent laughter, and he flipped me off, but he smiled.
“Sorry to interrupt.”
I jumped, and Sam swore. Lee leaned his elbows on the loft floor, grinning at us.
“Mornin’ sleepyheads,” he said.
I glared at him, but Sam rolled his eyes and asked, “What time is it?”
“Just past noon,” Lee answered, completely unfazed. “You two slept for almost twenty solid hours.”
My eyes widened in astonishment, and I glanced at Sam to see my surprise reflected on his face.
“I volunteered to try kissin’ you both awake just in case magic was involved, but everybody else seemed to think you were just tired.”
Sam made a funny sputtering sound, his mouth moving like he was speechless for the first time in his life. I pressed my sleeve to my mouth, trying to hide my smile.
“You alright there, Freckles?” Lee looked sideways at me with a smirk.
“Freckles?” Sam finally seemed to remember how to speak. “Freckles!”
As they launched into a heated argument about nicknames, I tried not to overthink how much lighter I felt. Was it normal for a person to swing back and forth between intense emotions like this? Did most people go from wanting to die to laughing? Or was I losing my mind?
I suddenly remembered Leda standing in the clinic, squeezing my hands and telling me she was here if I wanted to talk.
I didn’t know what had come over me, but I did.
I wanted to talk to her. When I stood, Lee and Sam fell silent, looking at me in surprise.
I felt a little dizzy but was sure eating something would fix it.
“Where are you goin’?” Lee asked.
“I need to go talk to somebody,” I said, pulling on my boots.
“Who?” Sam asked curiously.
“Leda.”
I strode to the ladder, but Lee didn’t move, staring up at me from where he still stood on the ladder.
“You should drink that broth first,” he said when I raised my eyebrows.
I turned, and sure enough, there was a mug of broth on my dresser. I heaved a sigh but walked over and drank the whole thing. It was cold, but I didn’t mind. When I finished, pointedly waving the empty mug at Lee, he finally started going back down the ladder so I could leave.
“You want any company?” Sam asked.
I looked at him and recognized the flash of loneliness in his face from feeling it myself.
“I gotta do this alone, I think.” I grimaced. “But I’ll be back.”
He nodded, then seemed to force himself to grin. “I might get some more sleep then without you hoggin’ the covers.”
I flipped him off as I started down the ladder and was rewarded by a more genuine smile crossing his face.
Lee followed me to the door, but I stopped in my tracks. “Alone, ” I repeated pointedly.
I expected him to argue, but to my surprise, he raised his hands in surrender and backed away, letting me continue out the door by myself.
Wolf, Kai, and Sable stood outside the clinic by one of the walls. Wolf had a tape measure, and Sable held a piece of paper. They all looked at me as I came outside, and I didn’t miss the surprise and relief that flashed across my brother’s face when he spotted me out of bed.
“Hey,” Wolf said with a forced casualness that was almost funny. “Nemo found some window panes, and we were thinkin’ if you wanted more windows in here, we could probably install them for you.”
I stopped in my tracks. Did that mean my brother was letting me stay here? And if he let me stay here, did that mean he believed me? And if he believed me?—
“We don’t have to,” Wolf said, frowning slightly, and I realized I was just staring at him.
“No,” I got out, “that’d… that’d be really nice.”
The worry in his eyes lightened a few shades.
“Where are you off to?” Sable asked.
“I just have to go talk to somebody,” I said, slightly awkwardly.
“Where’s Lee?” Wolf’s eyes narrowed.
“I told him to stay here. I can go by myself.”
“Tuck,” Wolf barked.
Tuck unfolded himself from the shadow of the clinic, startling me. I hadn’t seen him lounging there on the ground.
“I don’t need a guard,” I protested, irritated.
“How about a walkin’ companion?” Tuck asked with a grin.
He was so tall I had to crane my neck to look up at him as he stood beside me. It made me feel like a child again, glaring up at my big brother.
“This is a personal errand.”
“I’m very discreet,” Tuck winked.
Why the fuck was my face getting hot? “I don’t?—“
“Em,” Wolf interrupted. “Remember our deal.”
I was certain he hadn’t said anything about me being followed everywhere by one of his crew when he explained his stupid deal, but I bit my tongue.
With an annoyed huff, I started walking, and Tuck fell along beside me.
If he thought he could come into Leda’s house and listen to our conversation, he had another thing coming.
It was a gorgeous day outside. The sun felt warm, and I realized the last few patches of snow had melted away, leaving behind a thick layer of mud.
Many people were out working on their houses and yards, and most said hello to me as I passed.
I settled for an uncomfortable wave when they greeted me.
“People sure seem to like you,” Tuck remarked.
I didn’t answer.
“Nemo told us a little bit about the fever. I like him,” he said, gazing around the hold. “Nemo, I mean. He seems like a pretty good person.” He huffed a sarcastic laugh. “Though most anybody would seem like a saint after Madame.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to contain my shudder. We walked in silence for a while, and just when I started to think it might stay that way, he spoke again.
“So you really thought Wolf was gonna kill you?”
I glanced up at his face. His head tilted as he studied me.
“That’s what I was told,” I muttered.
“If you thought he was gonna kill you, why didn’t you fight when Wolf and Lee took you out of the clinic?”
I didn’t answer, angling my stiff steps to put more space between us.
“It kinda seemed like you were just gonna let him kill you.”
I shrugged, my fingers tugging my shirt collar closer together.
“Why?” he pushed.
“I always knew he’d find me eventually.” My boot slipped in some wet mud, and I flailed my arms to get my balance, but Tuck somehow closed the distance between us in the blink of an eye and caught my elbow, steadying me.
“Yeah, but you didn’t have to let him kill you,” he said, releasing me before I could jerk away.
I pressed my lips tighter together and kept my gaze focused straight ahead.
“And you sure as hell didn’t have to ask him to kill you.”
I winced.
“Hey, Bones!”
One of the blacksmiths was striding down the path toward us, his ruddy face lit up. I tried to remember his name but came up blank. He was probably in his forties with thinning dark hair. I’d healed him before—he’d told me about the Safeguard, but I couldn’t remember his name.
“Good to see you!” he said warmly, stopping when he reached us. “You doin’ okay?”
I pasted a smile on and nodded.
He glanced at Tuck and then reached out like he was going to take my arm, but Tuck’s hand shot out and wrapped around his wrist, startling both of us.
“I was just gonna have a private word with Bones,” the blacksmith said, his bushy eyebrows raised as he stared at Tuck.
“Feel free,” Tuck said, still friendly but somehow threatening at the same time, “but don’t touch her.”
“Tuck!” My hands fluttered as I tried to decide if I should grab him or not. “Let him go?—”
“No, it’s okay, Bones,” the blacksmith hurried to say, his gaze swinging back to me and his voice lowering. “I just wanted to say if you ever need help—with anything —all you gotta do is ask.” He cast a not-so-subtle glance at Tuck, who finally released his arm. “Anytime.”
My fingers twisted the ends of my hair as I swallowed hard. I couldn’t even remember this man’s name, and he was offering to help me escape my brother and his crew if need be.
“Thank you,” I managed to say. “I’m alright, but I’ll keep it in mind.”