Chapter 22 #2
We both fell silent, studying each other.
Mac’s eyes were less guarded than I’d ever seen as if he was deliberately opening himself up and allowing me to see him.
It was an openness that reminded me of Trey, and I hesitated as the pain swelled.
He didn’t move, didn’t draw back. He just waited as I tried to breathe through the grief and find the strength to look.
Bones, let ’em in.
Why was all of this so hard?
I gathered my courage and peered into Mac’s eyes, but it wasn’t like gazing into Trey’s eyes.
As soon as I looked, I felt the connection between our powers, as if we were woven together.
His emotions washed over me, and I could feel his regret, concern, and pain.
I took a breath to say something, but then another emotion jolted between us like electricity, the strength of it so familiar and terrifying ? —
I jerked away like I’d touched a hot iron, and he immediately released me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my heart in my throat, unsure what I was apologizing for.
His face had gone carefully blank. “It’s okay.”
I stared at him, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.
“Sorry, I lost my shit there,” Mac said like he was forcibly lightening his voice.
“You’ve seen me lose my shit enough times,” I managed to say. “I owed you at least one.”
He let out a startled but genuine chuckle, and some of the weird tension seemed to melt away.
“So, Lana?” I asked, desperate to keep the weirdness from returning.
He sobered immediately. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want you to feel like you have to heal her.”
“I know. I want to.”
He looked away and let out a heavy breath. I waited, but he said nothing, and I started getting nervous.
“Are you mad at me for doing this?” I asked tentatively.
His head snapped back up. “No, I’m not mad.” He smiled, but there was something sad about it. “Just…” He dropped his eyes and scrubbed a hand through his hair again. “None of us deserve you.”
My brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”
Instead of answering, he returned to the rover and opened my door. I followed, climbing back in and looking at him expectantly.
He shut the door and leaned on it, finally meeting my eyes again. “It means you’re a damn good person, Em.”
I frowned, but he walked around the front of the rover and climbed into the driver’s seat. He didn’t look at me as he started the rover and began to drive again.
“Mac, what’s wrong?” I finally asked.
He glanced at me briefly. “Just been a rough couple days.”
I felt a stab of guilt for taking off on him and then hiding so he couldn’t talk to me again before he left. I hadn’t set out to purposefully hurt him by doing it, but I had.
“So that’s where you were, ” he said, his voice a little lighter, “ Apple trees by the wall. Adding it to the list.”
“The list?”
He glanced at me again, and he was almost smiling this time. “I’m gonna figure out all your hidey-holes, and you better believe I’ll come find you when you try to disappear.”
I remembered how he promised to always come for me, and that soft emotion swelled again.
“You can try,” I said loftily, hoping it would make him smile.
I was rewarded with a grin, not a full one that showed his dimples, but a genuine smile. “Is that a challenge, Ember?”
A shiver ran down my spine at his use of my full name, confusing me. I didn’t usually like being called “Ember,” probably because Wolf only used it when he was pissed at me.
“I’m just sayin’, I’m good at hiding.”
“I know. It drives me crazy.”
I laughed, and finally, those dimples peeked out as he smiled wide.
“Things go okay while we were gone? ” he asked after a moment.
I had to stop and think back to when he left, trying to remember everything that had happened, and grimaced. My fight with Sam, that dream about Trey, Nemo, nightmares?—
“So, no,” Mac interrupted, a worried crease forming between his brows, and I realized he’d been listening to my list. “This gonna be a longer conversation? Cause we’re almost there.”
“Yeah,” I carefully tried to keep Clarity from my head. I didn’t want to open that can of worms right now. “We can talk about it later.”
“I should warn you, Lana is… not happy about this.”
My anxiety surged at the serious look in his eyes. “Is she… aware of what’s happening?”
“Enough to know you’re involved.”
I winced.
“She’s…” he trailed off, his mouth pressing into a hard line. “I just want to remind you that you don’t have to do this.”
“What symptoms does she have?” I needed to think like a healer. It was easier to ignore my own emotions that way.
“Started with a fever and vomiting, I guess. Now she’s real weak, can’t keep anything down, and the fever comes and goes.” He paused. “It reminds me of the sickness, which is why I didn’t want to bring her into the hold like this.”
“Is anyone else feelin’ sick?” I asked, dread creeping over me as I remembered how quickly the sickness had swept through the hold.
“No, and we’ve been tryin’ to be careful, but you should probably check everybody before we go back.” He gestured up ahead, and I saw part of the other rover between the trees. “You ready?”
I nodded. The worry lines on his face deepened, but he didn’t say anything.
We pulled up beside the second rover to see Raven and Griz sitting in the front.
Griz’s face broke into a smile, his white teeth flashing against his dark brown skin as he ran a hand over his close-cropped black hair.
Raven didn’t smile, but the tension in her face eased.
She flicked her long black hair behind her shoulder.
The bare side of her head looked freshly shaved.
“Hey, Em,” Griz called.
“Took your sweet time, Mac,” Raven grumbled, but her eyes scanned me carefully like she needed to ensure I was alright.
I hopped out, and Griz enveloped me in a warm hug. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you about the radio.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him.
“You sure about healing Lana?” he added quietly in my ear.
Did anyone think this was a good idea besides me? “Yeah,” I said, hoping I sounded like I believed it.
Raven had also climbed out of the rover, but she crossed her arms and glared at me. “You’ve made a lot of stupid decisions, Boney, but this one might take the cake.”
Guess that answered that question.
“Good to see you, too, Raven. I’m great, thanks for askin’,” I surprised myself by saying.
Her eyebrows rose, but her mouth twitched.
“Well, you ready?” Griz asked.
I nodded and followed him to the backseat of the second rover. They had converted the seat into a makeshift bed, and Lana lay in a pathetic ball on a pile of blankets.
She was asleep, but her face was sunken and pale and shiny with sweat.
Her lips moved, muttering something too faint to make out.
She hadn’t been as muscular as Raven before, but she’d looked strong and healthy.
Now, I could see her bones protruding, and my stomach dropped.
Part of me had wondered if she was faking, but there was no faking this level of illness.
I took a deep breath and climbed into the backseat, kneeling beside her and gently peeling the blanket back. She shivered violently, and I maneuvered her arm out and covered her back up, trying to focus. I wrapped my hands around her arm and let my healing power flow.
I immediately knew it was the same thing as the sickness from before.
My powers collided with the darkness oozing through Lana’s body, and it immediately fought back.
I gritted my teeth. It was strong, and I couldn’t tell if it was worse than all the previous versions or if I’d forgotten how it felt.
If this damn sickness was going to keep coming back, it needed a name.
My mind idly ran through possibilities, trying to distract myself from thinking about who I was healing and the strain on my powers.
“I like that one,” Mac suddenly said.
I blinked and looked up at him. He was standing outside the rover with Raven and Griz, watching.
“Which one?”
“Shadowbane Fever.”
I managed a half smile. “Alright.”
“Is this how it always feels?” he asked, his brows drawing closer together.
“What?” Why was I getting tired so quickly?
“Healing this. Does it always feel like this for you?”
“Some are worse than others, but yeah.” His arms crossed, lips pressing tightly together. “What’s wrong?”
“You did this for months.” He sounded angry. “You did this over three hundred times.”
“I know, but why are you mad about it?” I snapped.
“What?” Griz asked, and I realized with a sinking feeling I’d responded out loud.
My eyes darted between the three of them. Raven and Griz stared at me with furrowed brows, and Mac had gone perfectly still.
“What do you want to tell them?” Mac asked.
I sucked in a breath and let it out. “Just tell them.”
“Tell us what?” Raven snapped.
“Who are you talkin’ to?” Griz asked.
“She’s talkin’ to me,” Mac answered.
Raven and Griz both turned to him, eyes narrowed. Mac shifted on his feet, his hands curling into fists and then releasing again.
“I can… hear and communicate with some people’s thoughts.” When Raven and Griz just stared, he added, “It just started recently.”
“I asked him not to tell you,” I inserted before I lost my nerve.
“Why?” Raven demanded.
Griz glanced between me and Mac, silently studying us.
“Because I was scared,” I admitted. “I know what some p-people can do… when they find someone with powers.”
They all went quiet, and when I glanced back at them, they appeared to be having a silent conversation. I could guess what it was about.
“I know about Clarity,” I said.
All three looked sharply at me with various degrees of surprise and alarm. Raven immediately turned to Mac, radiating anger.
“I fucking told you,” she hissed at him.
“Raven, hold on,” Mac ordered, returning to me. “What happened?”
I explained what happened that morning and how I’d healed Clarity.
Raven asked a lot of questions, and I didn’t know how to answer most of them.
The fear in Raven’s eyes made me feel oddly protective.
Mac tried to apologize again, but I cut him off, letting them know I did understand why they wanted Clarity to feel in charge of her own life.
“Just don’t hide sick people, please? I can’t…” my voice wobbled, “I can’t heal ’em if they’re dead.”
“I’m sorry, Em,” Griz murmured.
“I never wanted any of this to be a secret,” Raven fumed.
“That’s true,” Mac said, sounding tired. “Raven was against all of this from the beginning.”
“Guess I’m not done apologizin’ yet, am I?” he added in my head.
“I’m not that mad…anymore.”
He sighed, rubbing his forehead.
“So that’s what’s been goin’ on between you two?” Griz asked. “You’ve been having mental conversations?”
I nodded, but Mac gave Griz a look I didn’t understand.
“Who can?—”
Lana suddenly surged upright, her wide eyes full of a familiar ice-cold fury focused solely on me.
“You!” she shrieked, then launched at my face.