Chapter 27 #2
Lee stood, hoisting me into his arms. His steps were so graceful and smooth.
I knew he was taking me to Nemo’s house, and I was strangely unbothered.
Part of me was annoyed that Lee had somehow weaseled his way into my circle, but most of me was just relieved.
I kept my eyes closed as Lee spoke to one of Nemo’s men at the door, who escorted us to the spare room.
Lee laid me on the bed, and I listened to him speak in low tones to the guard as he built a fire in the fireplace.
Finally, I heard him bid us goodnight, and the door shut quietly behind him.
I couldn’t hear Lee walking, but when I opened my eyes, he stood beside the bed. We stared at each other for a moment, and I didn’t know how to interpret all the emotion flickering through his eyes, but I did know one thing.
“Will you stay with me?” I whispered.
“Of course,” he said. “Smith said there’s a cot?—"
“No,” I interrupted, “will you sleep in the bed? With me?”
His eyebrows raised, a tiny smirk appearing. “Do you want your brother to kill me?”
I did not want to worry about my brother right now. “Please, Lee?”
His amusement disappeared. He ran a hand through the hair escaping his bun, took a deep breath, and released it in a rush. “Guess you better start planning my funeral then.”
He sat in the chair and started taking off his boots. I was still wearing Mac’s jacket, but I had no plans to take it off. I scooted over as Lee climbed into bed beside me, also still fully dressed.
“What kind of flowers do you want?” I asked as he settled on his back, hands tucked behind his head.
He frowned at me, his brow furrowing in confusion. I stayed sitting, leaning on one hand. It was kind of nice being able to look down at someone for once.
“For your funeral,” I clarified.
He blinked in surprise, then grinned. “Forget-me-nots.”
“Myosotis asiatica?”
“Are you tryin’ to put a spell on me?” he asked, eyebrows raising.
“That’s their name. I use them as an astringent in poultices, and their oils can be used as an antidote to some poisons.”
“I’d love to tell you I knew that, but I just think they’re a pretty color.”
“They are a pretty color,” I agreed.
“Are you gonna sit there and lecture me about the medical properties of pretty flowers, or are you gonna come over here?”
A flutter of nerves came to life in my stomach, startling me, but I forced myself to lay beside him.
You asked him to do this, I reminded myself, annoyed.
I lay on my side, facing him, and he rolled over to his side to do the same.
There was a whole foot of space between us, full of unspoken questions.
He lifted a hand and gently brushed my hair back, his fingers tracing a shape on my cheek, and his eyes narrowed in concentration.
“What are you tryin’ to find?” I asked.
“Cassiopeia,” he answered. “There, right here!” His fingers traced a jagged line from my nose to my cheek. “Found her.”
“Her?”
“According to an old myth from Before, she was a queen who angered the gods,” he murmured. His eyes met mine. “The gods put her in the sky as punishment and sentenced her daughter to be sacrificed to a monster.”
“What happened?”
“The princess was chained to a rock for a sea monster to devour, but a hero rescued her and killed the monster.”
His voice had a dark edge that made me instantly wary. I studied his face, trying to understand what he was feeling.
“So the gods from the Before weren’t much better, then,” I finally said.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Gods are just monsters by another name.”
I opened my mouth to ask another question, but he grabbed my waist and pulled me, sliding my body closer and wrapping me in his arms.
“You should get some sleep,” he murmured, his legs entangling with mine. “Those damn roosters will be crowin’ soon.”
I curled into him, selfishly enjoying the feeling of another body against mine.
The scent of peppermint soap lingered on Mac’s jacket, and with my eyes closed, it almost felt like Mac was holding me.
Butterflies filled my stomach, and I tried to rationalize them away.
You just miss Mac and the crew, and you’re starved for touch. That’s all.
Still, the heavy, crushing loneliness felt farther away.
“Darlin’, open your eyes.”
Trey’s warm brown eyes greeted me. I stared at him, my lips parting in surprise.
“Look around us,” he murmured.
I turned my head, staring at the dark, shadowy shapes of the trees surrounding us. We stood in the woods at night, arms around each other, swaying as though we were dancing. But what caught my attention were the tiny golden lights drifting around us.
“Fireflies,” he whispered.
I gasped, watching them flit around us like glimmering magic. Eventually, I realized I didn’t know where we were. My brow furrowed in confusion. How did we get here?
“It’s alright, darlin’,” he said, his voice soft. “I just wanted to see you.”
Something flitted on the edge of my mind, and I tried to pull away. His arms tightened around me, pain flashing through his eyes.
“Please, Em. Stay with me?”
I stopped pulling away. Our feet continued to move, turning us slowly in a circle, but the pain didn’t leave his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothin’.” He smiled, but it looked forced. “Just missin’ you.”
I frowned and opened my mouth to ask why he was missing me if I was right here, but the memory of his bloodied face suddenly hit me like a fist. I came to an abrupt stop, horrified.
“You died. You’re dead.” My voice shook.
“Em—”
“How are you here?” Anger swiftly filled me, burning with savage, painful fury. “Why can’t I ever feel you when I need you?”
His eyes closed, long lashes sweeping across his cheeks, and his throat bobbed. “I’m sorry.”
I jerked away, and this time, he let me go. His hands fell to his sides, and the pain in his face speared through me, but I wasn’t done.
“I can’t keep doin’ this. I can’t get you back for little moments just to lose you again.” Tears rolled down my face. “I tried telling you, but you still don’t get it. I can’t…I can’t keep puttin’ myself back together. This is killin’ me ? —”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice came out harsh and desperate. “If only you knew how sorry I am.”
“Why can’t I feel you?” I meant to sound angry, but my voice broke.
“It’s complicated,” he whispered, still frozen where I left him. “I shouldn’t be here, but I can’t help myself.”
His handsome face blurred as tears filled my eyes. “Can you come back? If I can see you here, does that mean you can come back? Can my powers…can I bring you back?”
The pain that filled his face was a tangible thing, and I knew the answer before he shook his head. Grief rushed over me, filling my lungs and bringing me to my knees. He crouched beside me, resting a gentle, almost hesitant hand on my back.
“Then take me with you,” I begged through the sobs. “Don’t leave me here. Please, Trey, I can’t—I can’t ? —”
He gathered me into his arms, pressing a kiss into my hair. “I’m so sorry, love.”
I went still, my heart leaping into my throat. For a few seconds, I remained frozen, my mind spinning, and then I abruptly pulled away, staring wide-eyed, my chest heaving with breaths that didn’t bring me any air.
Only one person had ever called me that.
Only one.
And it wasn’t Trey.
“Ember—” he started, his eyes sharpening on my expression.
“You’re not Trey,” the words fell out of my mouth in numb disbelief.
Everything seemed to be suspended momentarily as if the entire world around us had held its breath.
Then, the fireflies, the woods, everything vanished, leaving us in a terribly familiar darkness.
He didn’t move from where he was still crouched, watching me warily, and fury flooded my veins—so hot I thought I might burst into flames.
“How dare you,” I seethed, scrambling to my feet. “How dare you use his face.”
He slowly got to his feet but stayed where he stood. “Ember—” he tried again. His face remained Trey’s, but that was not Trey’s voice.
“He is not a fucking puppet for you to play with!”
“I didn’t intend to trick you,” he said, his voice steady but with a thread of something sharp.
“Stop using his face!” I lunged toward him, and he tried to step back, but I caught his arm.
I didn’t have a plan, just rage, but as my hands touched his skin, golden beams of light flared, cutting through the darkness in every direction.
I gaped at them, but he cried out as though in pain, stumbling to one knee.
Under my hand, Trey’s wrist dissolved into shadows, revealing a pale, thinner arm.
My heart pounded so loud it drowned out everything else as my eyes followed his arm; the rest of the shadows fell away like a curtain, and I stared at the man who appeared before me.
His hair was pure white, hanging around his face in loose curls, but he looked about the same age as Wolf. The planes of his face were sharp and angular, almost as though he’d been cut from rock. His eyes were jarringly blue. I’d never seen him before.
“Ember,” his voice came out pained, “I’m not your enemy.”
“Not my enemy?” I repeated in disbelief.
“Just let me explain.”
“Was that you? In the flower field?” I demanded, feeling like I teetered on the very edge of a precipice.
He held my gaze, his expression impassive, but something flickered in his eyes. “Yes.”
“Was it ever Trey?” My voice broke, but I didn’t let go.
He paused, his throat working as he swallowed. “No.”
A tear ran down my cheek, quickly followed by another. “How did you get in my head?”
“You reached out. You were reaching for…him.”
I stared at him, horror and pain and anger drowning me. “And you saw an opportunity.”
“You shut me out ? —”
“You fucking terrorized me!”
Anger sparked in his eyes. “You have no idea what I’ve done for you.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve been trying to keep you safe ,” his voice rose.
“Well, you’ve done a real shit job of it!” I hissed.
“You think you know ? —”
“How does pretending to be Trey keep me safe?” I interrupted, so angry my voice shook. “I don’t want your fucking protection. I want you to leave me the fuck alone!”
He stared up at me, and I watched his blue eyes harden like a door slamming closed.
“Do not tempt me to take more drastic measures,” he said in a familiar silky tone.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I tightened my grip on his arm, golden light flaring. “You don’t scare me anymore. You try to find me, and I will kill you.”
A cruel smirk crossed his face. “Are you truly so eager to have nightmares about killing me?”
I opened my mouth to snap a retort, but he continued.
“Just like you have nightmares about that knife in Juck’s chest? Or the blood spurting from Madame’s neck?”
Fear turned my veins to ice, but I refused to back down. “I’ll gladly have nightmares if it keeps you from hurting anyone else.”
He laughed softly, making the hair stand up on the back of my neck. “Love, you think I don’t know what happened tonight?”
I sucked in a breath through my nose. “Was that you in the clinic?”
He scoffed. “No.”
I was beginning to feel nauseous, and I desperately tried to pretend I wasn’t.
He suddenly got to his feet gracefully, and I flinched but still gripped his arm.
His eyes narrowed, and he stepped into my space.
Now that he was standing, I realized how tall he was.
Shadows still covered his lower body, but they recoiled from my light.
I was very aware I had no exit plan. I was afraid to let go of his arm since that seemed to give me a slight advantage, but I also desperately wanted to leave.
“The scent of Madame’s soap is all it takes to break you, yet you threaten me,” he murmured. “I still can’t decide if you are brave, foolish, or both.”
“Says the man who hid behind shadows and threatened me,” I sneered, my temper flaring.
His expression grew darker, and my heart leapt into my throat. My stupid mouth.
“You know nothing,” he said in a soft voice that made chills run across my body. “You think you don’t need my protection, but you have no idea what sort of monsters exist in the dark.”
“No, I don’t want your protection ? —”
His cold fingers seized my chin. “What you want does not matter. You are mine.”
“I am not yours ,” I spit out defiantly despite the fear coursing through me.
His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “He’s dead, Ember, and he’s not coming back.”
Pain stabbed through me. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll always be his.”
His eyes flashed, and the darkness pressed in, heavy and suffocating. “You would devote yourself to a man who died and left you here alone?”
“He didn’t choose to die!”
“He didn’t fight it, either.”
“His death started the rebellion,” I parroted Nemo’s words even as they hurt. “He helped free people!”
The shadows around him writhed and grew, and my golden light suddenly seemed small.
“Well, that is the difference between us, then,” he murmured, leaning closer, “because I would let the whole world burn rather than abandon you. I would never make you beg to follow me into death. I would never promise to love you and then leave you.”
I stared at him, my heart pounding. I wanted to scream at him, but I hated the tiny selfish part of me that ached with pain—that wished Trey had felt that way.
“So remember that the next time you decide to label me a villain, Ember,” he said in a soft, dangerous voice, and then he vanished like smoke.