Chapter 28
I bolted upright in bed, gasping in panicked breaths.
“What the fuck?” a sleepy voice mumbled beside me, and I gasped, lurching away. “It’s Lee, Freckles. It’s Lee.”
I couldn’t respond, too focused on trying to breathe. The bed shifted as he sat up, and his warm arms encircled my shoulders. I gripped his forearms and tried to stop shaking.
“It’s alright, you were just dreamin’,” he murmured into my ear.
I shook my head. No, that was not a dream.
“You’re safe, Freckles.” He sounded a little more awake now. “I’m right here.”
He squeezed me tight, and a pained sound escaped my lips. He immediately released me.
“Did I hurt you?” he demanded.
“My back’s just sore,” I whispered.
“Your back is sore?” he repeated. “Is that normal?”
I nodded, but I didn’t want to talk about my back. “It’s fine.”
He sighed but gently wrapped his arms around me, tugging me back onto the bed and pulling the blankets around us again. It looked like it was almost dawn, and the dark sky was beginning to lighten. He wrapped his body around mine, and I rested my head on his shoulder, clenching my trembling hands.
What the fuck was that? Maybe it was a dream?
No, I knew better. It was never Trey.
Tears filled my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that it had never been him. Had he tried? Was it even possible?
What had Sam called him? The Mental Menace?
Menace was right. I was furious that he’d pretended to be Trey.
He’d fucking kissed me, and I’d kissed him back.
He said, “I love you,” for fuck’s sake. Seeing Trey had destroyed the fragile progress I’d made, sent me down a dark spiral again, and it wasn’t even him.
I wanted to scream or burst into tears, or maybe both.
I thought I had a decent grasp on what Menace wanted and how he would act, but now I was confused again.
Every other time I’d interacted with him, he’d been arrogant, reckless, and entitled.
He hadn’t been any of those things while pretending to be Trey.
If he hadn’t slipped up and called me “love,” I might have never figured it out.
My skin crawled. How long would he have kept pretending?
Lee shifted, and his fingers gently brushed away tears. “You want to talk about it?”
For a brief second, I considered it. We were entwined together, and I felt safe, warm, and comfortable with him. It would be nice to get all of this out of my head, and maybe it would ease the pain of my heart breaking all over again.
But I hadn’t told Wolf anything about Menace, and I wasn’t sure if I should. It wasn’t something to dump on Lee with no warning. I couldn’t forget they were bounty hunters.
“Freckles?” Lee murmured.
“Just a bad dream,” I whispered, more miserable tears escaping. I wished Mac or Sam were here so I could talk to one of them.
We lay quietly until I finally managed to calm down. An embarrassed flush crept into my cheeks. I was so fucking sick of crying.
“You want a distraction, then?” he asked in a low, suggestive voice, and my stomach lurched for a very different reason.
“What kind of distraction?”
“Whatever kind you’d like.”
Fuck he was smooth. “What if I want you to do a flip?”
“Then I’d do a flip.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“What if I want you to sing?”
“Then I’d sing.”
My skin felt heated, but I could feel the tidal wave of grief I was barely holding back.
You would devote yourself to a man who died and left you here alone?
I shoved away the memory of Menace’s words, but I couldn’t deny I had no idea if it was even possible to move on from Trey.
Part of me longed to be touched, but how could I let someone else touch me after Trey?
How could I touch someone else after Trey?
The thought of caring about someone, loving someone like I’d loved Trey, seemed impossible.
My eyes filled with fucking tears again .
Sounds pretty lonely, Lee had said, and he was right.
Maybe I was cursed always to be alone. I got a handful of days of bliss with Trey, and maybe that was all I’d ever get.
“Hey, talk to me,” Lee whispered.
“I can’t, Lee,” I said, my voice wobbling. I wasn’t sure if I meant talking or…distractions. Maybe both.
His arms tightened around me, though I noticed he carefully avoided pressing on my back. Neither of us spoke for a while, and I tried my damndest to stop thinking, swallow back the tears, and pretend the fragile scaffolding I’d managed to re-erect hadn’t just come crashing down.
“You’re not alone, Em,” Lee murmured. “You’re not alone, alright?”
I pressed my face against his shoulder and didn’t respond.
“—wasn’t there?”
“Couldn’t find him anywhere.”
“But no one went through the gate?”
“Not according to the guards.”
I slowly opened my eyes, squinting at the daylight streaming through the windows. Wolf, Lee, and Sable stood before the fireplace, speaking in low voices.
“So he just vanished?” Lee sounded frustrated.
“He’s gotta be in the hold somewhere,” Wolf answered. “I’ll find him.”
“Did he say anything about motive?” Lee asked.
“Nemo said Hawk was arrested for being part of the rebellion. He doesn’t know for sure if Hawk was tortured. He wasn’t injured when they freed him.”
“Could be harboring a grudge,” Sable murmured.
“Hawk was close with a woman who was tortured, so Nemo’s fetching her to see if she has any answers.”
Mist. Oh fuck, I felt sick.
“Tell me again what you saw, Sable,” Wolf ordered.
“Not much. Ember was pretty far ahead of me, but when I rounded the corner, he was holding her arm and speaking to her real close. It definitely looked aggressive, but then he acted like nothing was wrong.” His voice grew dry.
“And I know this will probably shock you, but Ember wouldn’t talk about it. ”
Wolf muttered something I couldn’t make out, and Lee snorted a laugh.
“I thought it looked like he was gripping her arm pretty tight, but she didn’t really react, and she never acted like it hurt afterward.”
“Scar said the bruises were purple ,” Wolf said.
“Well, maybe she’ll have more to say now,” Lee said. When I glanced at him, I realized he was looking directly at me, one eyebrow raised.
Wolf and Sable both turned around to look at me, and I fought the urge to pull the blankets over my head like a child.
“Morning, Ember,” Sable said as the three approached the bed. “Can I take a look at the bruises on your arm?”
I stared at them with my lips pressed into a flat line. This was not how I wanted to start my morning.
“Ember,” Wolf warned.
“They’re just bruises,” I muttered.
“Ember,” Wolf repeated, his voice sharpening.
I huffed a frustrated breath and sat up, unwrapping myself from Mac’s jacket I’d cocooned myself in. Sable took a seat on the bed in front of me as I let the jacket fall from my shoulders, revealing the dark bruises. Wolf made an angry sound through his teeth.
“Gods,” Sable muttered as he gently took my arm and inspected them. “Why didn’t you say anything?” When I didn’t respond, he pushed, “What did he say to you?”
“That he didn’t want my apologies,” I muttered.
“Why?”
“Because Madame used me to torture Mist in front of him.” My voice sounded dull and flat.
“Why did you say you didn’t know who was vandalizing the clinic?” Wolf demanded.
“I don’t know if it was him,” I said, twisting the blanket in my fingers.
“You could’ve at least named him as a suspect,” Wolf snapped.
“I already fucked up his life,” I mumbled.
“That doesn’t mean he’s allowed to fuck up yours,” Wolf shot back.
“Wolf,” Sable murmured.
Wolf took a deep breath and let it out slow, but I kept my eyes on my hands. A rooster crowed somewhere outside.
“Well, he’s disappeared, so that’s not helping him look innocent,” Wolf said, his voice calmer.
“Was it actually your back hurting last night, or was it your arm?” Lee abruptly asked.
I blinked up at him. “My back.”
Lee frowned, pointing at my bruised arm. “You’re seriously gonna tell me that doesn’t hurt?”
“I didn’t notice it.”
His eyebrows arched, and simmering silence filled the room. They were waiting for me to explain, but I had no idea what to say.
“What’s wrong with your back?” Wolf finally asked, his voice rough.
My face was so hot. “It just hurts sometimes.”
“The scars,” Lee added quietly, and Wolf’s expression twisted.
“Do you have any salves to put on it?” Sable asked.
“I have an oil infusion,” I mumbled.
“I have an ointment I picked up from a healer in New Salt,” Sable said. “It’s helped us a lot with aching muscles. Would you be willing to try that?”
I nodded, hoping that would satisfy him, then blanched when he pulled a small tin out of the satchel he carried. I hadn’t expected him to have it with him. My panicked gaze met my brother’s worried eyes.
“Please, Em, can you let him look? If it’s hurting you, you need a healer.”
My fists clenched in my lap. I wasn’t getting out of this without a massive fight. “Fine.”
“Can I stay?” Wolf asked.
I wanted to say no. I knew if I said no, he would leave, but the pleading look in his eyes filled me with even more guilt.
I could see my brother clearly in those green eyes, and it extinguished my protests.
So I nodded and turned my back to them, holding my shirt over my chest as Sable pushed the back of it up.
I tried to steel myself, but the sharp intake of breath I heard from Wolf stabbed through me. Sable didn’t say anything for a moment.
“Did they have to use stitches?” Sable asked, and I nodded.
“I’m going to touch your back, alright?” he warned, but I still cringed when his fingers made contact with my scarred skin.
He moved his fingers along the scars, pressing lightly, and then his fingers paused. “Did the stitches rip at some point?”
“Yes,” I mumbled.
“How did that happen?”
I tried to breathe evenly, but my voice came out shaky. “Madame summoned me before it was fully healed. I passed out, and Mac had to carry me back. At some point, the stitches ripped.”