Chapter 31 #3
She nodded, her face serious, and got up to find a knife.
It took her a while to cut through the plastic cord, and I tried to brace myself for getting accidentally cut, but the first time she slipped and nicked my wrist, I jumped.
She immediately burst into tears, and I had to calm her down before convincing her to keep going.
She got me a couple more times, the knife sliding on the zip tie, slippery with my blood.
Finally, the ties fell off, and I brought my hands up to inspect my bloody wrists.
I winced at the large amount of blood staining my sleeves.
I’d put deep gashes in them from yanking against the ties and a couple lacerations that probably needed stitches.
I shakily got to my feet and stepped around the beam, grimacing more at the blood smeared across the floor.
“How long has it been since they left?” I asked.
Apple wrinkled her nose like she was thinking hard. “Twenty hours?”
I looked out the window at the sunlight, lips twitching wearily at her attempt. It looked like it’d been maybe a couple hours.
Apple followed, attached to my side, as I went to the sink and started woodenly cleaning out the wounds on my wrists. The deepest lacerations were still bleeding a fair bit, but I wasn’t going to deal with stitching myself up right now. My body would probably heal the wounds before I bled too much.
I’ve seen you put your own health at risk about two dozen times since I met you. Sable’s earlier words ran through my head, but I shoved them away.
It hurt as I washed the wounds out, but I barely noticed.
I felt removed from myself again. I understood why Wolf tied me up when he first abducted me, but tying me up now?
I’d begged him not to, but once again, he saw my panic as manipulation.
I couldn’t keep doing this. I couldn’t keep ripping out bloody pieces of myself to show him if he was going to pick and choose which ones he thought were real.
I got my left wrist bandaged, but then I fumbled with the bandage on my right.
“Can I do it?”
I glanced at Apple, who looked up at me with huge, solemn eyes. I dropped into a crouch and held out my wrist, instructing her how to do it as she clumsily wrapped it for me.
Once it was tied, I got to my feet, jaw set with grim determination. “Go find Leda, okay?”
“Where are you going?” Apple whispered.
“To Nemo’s,” I answered.
Nemo’s house was full of people. They all looked startled when I came storming in, but no one stopped me. I found Nemo in his office with Smith and a handful of other people gathered around the large radio, their faces grim.
“What’s happening?” I demanded.
The people around Nemo stared at me with wide eyes, but Nemo was studying me carefully, frowning. I knew I looked crazed. I’d tried to clean myself up a little, but my eyes were red and swollen, both my wrists were bandaged, and there was blood smeared on my clothes.
“What happened to your arms?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I bit out. “What’s happening?”
Nemo glanced at Smith and then moved around everyone to approach me.
“Come speak with me privately for a minute,” he said, gently taking my elbow.
I debated refusing to move until someone updated me, but the kindness and patience in Nemo’s face took the wind out of my sails. I nodded, and he steered me out of his office and into the kitchen. It was a small, enclosed space but cozy and homey.
“Ember, what happened to your arms?” Nemo asked again.
“It’s just a cut,” I said stiffly.
His eyebrows drew together. “On both wrists?” When I didn’t answer, he pressed, “Did someone attack you again?”
“No.”
His frown deepened. “Is it self-inflicted?”
“No! I mean…not intentionally…”
He simply studied me.
“Wolf tied me up in the clinic because I threatened to follow them,” I finally admitted, hating that my voice wobbled.
The anger that filled his eyes surprised me. “He tied you up?”
I nodded. “I…sort of panicked and, um, fucked up my wrists.”
“Can I see?” he asked, gesturing to my wrist.
The urge to flee filled me, and I hesitated but then slowly unwrapped the bandage on my left wrist and let him examine the lacerations I’d put in my skin.
His jaw flexed, and his eyes narrowed as he inspected the wounds.
I hadn’t expected him to be angry on my behalf, and it flooded me with something like relief.
“I’ll speak to him,” he finally said, meeting my eyes. “This is unacceptable.”
For some reason, that made me start crying—fat tears rolling down my cheeks—and his eyes softened.
“My father abused me for years,” he said as he re-wrapped the bandage on my wrist. “I was often tied up, and to this day, someone grippin’ my arm tight is still enough to bring up all that panic and fear.”
I sniffled, watching him and wondering if that had anything to do with why he disliked clinics and healers.
“I know Madame and Vulture chained you up in the clinic,” he added.
“While I have the power to do so, I’m gonna make sure that doesn’t happen again, alright?
” He glanced up at my face, waiting until I managed a tiny nod.
“Your brother is a good man, I think. I don’t think he meant to hurt you, but even good men can make mistakes.
” He gave me a slight smile. “As I have many times.”
He tucked the bandage in and released me, opening his mouth as though he would speak and then closing it again with a sigh. I pulled my arm back, waiting to see if he had more to say.
“I had a daughter,” he finally said, his voice soft and pained. “I lost her and her mother when she was only eight. You remind me of her, and I must admit I occasionally find myself takin’ the role of a protective father, and I apologize for that.”
I wondered if this was what it felt like to have a father who cared, and my heart ached. The words spilled out of me in a shaky whisper before I could stop them, “My dad hated me.”
The grief in his eyes made mine burn. “Parents not lovin’ their children is somethin’ I’ll never understand. I’d do most anythin’ to have mine back.” He paused. “I think it’s pretty clear your brother loves you, even if he makes mistakes.”
I hesitated but then spoke, “Wolf said the Voiceless put a bounty out for me.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I figured they would eventually.”
“Do you know why?” I asked, my stomach churning.
“The Voiceless are all about power, but they have none to wield besides fear. Their leader, he has a sort of power, but it’s nothin’ like yours.” He paused, his face grave. “I would imagine he either wants to use you somehow… or kill you.”
I shuddered. “Juck said he used to be part of the Voiceless.”
Nemo’s eyebrows raised. “Really?”
“Do they let people just… leave if they want to?”
Darkness flashed across his face again. “No.”
I frowned, my mind spinning. It felt like the Voiceless had been lurking on the edge of my life for a long time, and I gathered the courage to ask a question that had been bothering me. “Does the Voiceless leader… could he be the one with mind powers?”
Nemo shook his head, but the unease on his face didn’t provide much relief. “No, he doesn’t have any powers like that. I’d never heard of such powers until Mac told me.”
I stood silently for a few seconds. “You… you seem to know a lot about the Voiceless…”
It wasn’t a question, but it was. He studied my face for a moment. “I was also a part of them, but not by choice. I escaped. Many are not so lucky.” He took a deep breath. “I will share my story soon, I promise. With all of you.”
I had a million questions, but the sound of running footsteps stole our attention. The door opened, and Smith stuck his head in.
“They’re on their way back,” Smith reported, worry evident in his voice. “They’ve got wounded.”
My stomach dropped.
“Let’s go to the gate, Ember,” Nemo said, calm but grave. “Smith, alert the others.”