Chapter 31 #2
“Didn’t you just do this yesterday?” Tuck asked, breaking the silence.
I clenched my jaw and didn’t respond.
“Pretty sure you did it the day before that, too,” Kai said.
“Pretty sure I’ve seen you do this at least six times,” Wolf added.
I set the tincture bottle I held on the shelf with more force than necessary.
“Leave her alone,” Sable said. “She does it when she’s nervous.”
For fuck’s sake. I turned on my heel and stomped to the door.
“Where are you going?” Wolf demanded.
“To check on Clarity,” I said without looking back, slamming the door behind me.
I didn’t get far before I heard someone catching up to me. I glanced back, assuming it would be Lee, but instead met Wolf’s angry gaze.
“Ember,” he snapped, “will you quit throwing a temper tantrum?”
“I’m not,” I snapped back.
He let out a sarcastic laugh. “You forget I was the one who always had to deal with your temper tantrums? I know one when I see one.”
My face heated, his words stinging unexpectedly. “Well, good news, you don’t have to deal with me anymore.”
“What?”
“I’m not your burden to bear anymore.”
He swore under his breath and grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop and face him. “What?”
“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” I hated the angry tears pricking in my eyes. “No one is making you deal with me. I don’t know if you’re a fucking masochist or what, but you don’t have to keep parenting me anymore. I’m not a child.”
His brow furrowed as he stared at me, but he said nothing. The longer he waited, the more frayed I felt.
“Do you think I hated raising you?” he finally asked, a rawness to his voice that startled me.
“Didn’t you?” I shot back.
“No, Em.” His eyes were pained. “No.”
We stared at each other for a few breaths.
“I hated having no fucking clue what I was doing. I hated that I lost my temper so much. I hated that you didn’t have Mom, who would’ve done a hell of a lot better job than me, but not you. Never you.”
I looked away, trying to hold myself together, and he released my arm.
“Did you always think I hated raising you?” He sounded gutted. “I mean, did you think that before Dune died?”
I wasn’t sure I could speak, so I just shrugged. The silence continued for a long time, but I stubbornly refused to look at him.
“You were so small,” he finally said in a rough voice.
“Any time I put you in the cradle, you’d just cry and cry.
Pa said you’d cry yourself to sleep eventually, but I couldn’t just lay there and listen to you sob.
So I’d get up and bring you back to our pallet and hold you, and you would immediately grab my shirt or my finger.
” His voice grew more choked. “Then you would fall asleep, so long as I was there next to you, and you could hold onto me. I was so terrified of your trust in me, but at the same time, I loved you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone.”
“I always felt like a burden,” I said, low.
“You weren’t a burden.” His voice cracked. “I always assumed I’d have children in the future, and now that I won’t get that chance, I’m even more grateful I at least got you.”
I stared hard at the mountains, but my voice wobbled when I spoke, “Did you?—”
“Wolf! Bones!”
We both whirled around to see Lee and Smith running toward us. My heart slammed into overdrive.
“Mac’s crew is under attack,” Smith reported, his words clipped with worry.
“What?” My stomach was somewhere on the ground.
“By who?” Wolf immediately asked.
“The Voiceless,” Lee answered, his face sharp with urgency. “Nemo wants to know if we can go.”
“Gear up,” Wolf ordered without hesitation, and Lee immediately took off and headed back toward the clinic.
“I’ll tell Nemo. We’ll meet you at the gate,” Smith said, relief visible in his ruddy face as he left.
Wolf started striding toward the clinic, and I had to jog to keep up.
“I’m coming with you,” I said.
“No,” he replied, his voice stern.
“Wolf, I can help!”
“No.”
“If someone gets hurt, I can?—”
“You’re not gettin’ anywhere near the Voiceless, Ember.”
“Why?” I demanded. “I’ve seen them before?—”
He stopped in his tracks and seized my shoulders. His face was serious, and I saw fear flash through his eyes. “They’re lookin’ for you, Em. They put out a bounty for you. Now that I know about your power, I understand why, and I won’t risk it.”
My mouth dried as fear went through me like a lightning bolt, but I forced myself to shake it off. “I don’t care. I’m not stayin’ here.”
“You think this is a coincidence that they’re attacking your crew, right now? They’re baiting you. They want you to come.”
“Wolf, I can’t stay here if my crew is in danger!” I tried to say it fiercely, but my voice shook.
“We have Sable. He can stabilize any injured people until we get them back here.”
“Wolf, please!” I was clinging to his forearms now.
“No, Em,” he released my shoulders, his voice gentling. “I’ll bring ’em back, okay?”
I opened my mouth to beg him, but he took off at a sprint. I scrambled after him, swearing, but he was faster than me. By the time I reached the clinic, panting and nauseous, they were just finishing strapping on their gear, faces grave.
“I’m comin’ with you!” I said between gasps.
All six of them simultaneously gave me the exact same stern and furious expression.
“Absolutely not,” Lee snapped.
“No,” Sable said at the same time.
Scar and Tuck looked at Wolf, but he was shaking his head as he buckled his tactical vest. “No, Em.”
“I can help!” I protested, panic choking me.
“Ember, I said no.” Wolf’s voice sharpened. “Will you just listen to me for once!”
“You can’t force me to stay here!” I raged, losing myself to desperation. “I’ll follow you?—”
Wolf stopped what he was doing to glare at me. “Don’t you dare,” he growled.
“I’m not staying behind! My crew might be hurt, and?—”
Wolf strode up to me and grabbed my wrist, jerking me further into the clinic, and I assumed he was going to speak to me privately.
“Wolf, I really can?—”
My words cut off as he grabbed my other hand and brought it around one of the wooden posts holding up the loft. I realized far too slowly that he was zip-tying my hands together. I tried to jerk away, but he was too strong, and the ties cinched tight on my wrists.
“Wolf!” I snapped, straining against the ties, layers of panic rising to choke me.
“I meant it, Em,” he said firmly. “I’m not lettin’ you anywhere near the Voiceless.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t follow you. Just please cut me free.” I hoped I sounded calm.
“Yeah, I know better than to believe that,” Wolf said, grabbing his gear.
“Wolf, I’m serious.” My voice shook. “Cut me free.”
He ignored me, continuing to get ready, and I realized he wasn’t fucking around. He was going to leave me here tied up. My stomach flipped inside out.
“Wolf!” He didn’t even turn around to look at me. “Wolf! Please!”
He walked to grab his pack and a long, deadly rifle. The rest of his crew stood by the door, watching quietly. I met Lee’s pained eyes, desperate.
“Lee, please don’t leave me tied up. Please don’t?—”
My pleas cut off in shock as he turned his back on me and stepped out the door. Tears sprung to my eyes as the door swung shut behind him. Panic was building in my chest, and I met Scar’s gaze.
“Scar, p-please, I’m not… not lying?—”
She shook her head, her expression closed. “It’s safer this way. I wouldn’t put it past you to follow us.”
“I can’t… I can’t be trapped in here—” I gasped.
“Wolf,” Sable murmured.
“I’m not risking it,” Wolf said, his voice a firm order.
Sable glanced at me again and frowned.
“Just sit tight, Em. We’ll be back,” Wolf said.
“Wolf, don’t do this! Don’t leave me here like this!” Tears spilled down my face. “I’m gonna… I can’t be tied up! I swear I’m not lying?—
Wolf started ushering the rest of his crew out the door, ignoring me, and I lost it.
“I swear to the gods, if you leave me here like this, I will never forgive you!” I shrieked.
Wolf turned and met my eyes briefly, but he just closed the door, leaving me a prisoner in my clinic again. For a moment, I stood frozen in disbelief, my eyes finding the space by the door where Vulture had sat and watched me work with Trey’s blood staining my clothes and a manacle on my ankle.
Panic abruptly swallowed me. I fought against the ties, sobbing and trying to get my hands free until my wrists were burning with pain and slippery with blood. Like an animal caught in a trap, the only cohesive thought in my head was that I had to get free.
The next thing I knew, I was on the ground, resting my forehead against the wooden beam and sobbing hard. I hated Wolf for leaving me like this, but Lee turning his back on me hurt worse. At least now, I knew if it came down to me or my brother, Lee would always choose Wolf.
If any of my crew were killed?—
I barely managed to choke back the bile in my throat, breathing in deeply through my nose, but my breath was coming faster, and I couldn’t stop it. I tried to do Sable’s trick of listing things I could hear, but Trey’s bloody face filled my vision and?—
“Em? Em, wake up. Please wake up!”
I cracked my eyes open and met Apple’s tearful gaze. I lay in an awkward pile on the floor of the clinic with my hands still zip-tied around the beam. My wrists smarted with pain.
“Em! Em, can you hear me?”
Apple’s little hands were on my face.
“I’m okay,” I choked out.
“What happened?” she demanded, her little brow furrowing furiously.
“Wolf tied me up,” I explained numbly, managing to sit up.
“Why?” she gasped, and I could see the betrayal I felt reflected in her eyes.
“So I couldn’t go with them.” My head pounded. “Apple, can you cut the ties?”