Chapter 33
B oots on the small steps outside caught our attention. The door opened, and Sam and I glanced up just in time to see Wolf walk through the door. Before I could react, Sam leapt to his feet, eyes flashing.
My brother held up both hands, palms facing us. “I’m not here for trouble.”
Sam scoffed, positioning himself between my brother and where I sat frozen on the couch.
“Ember, are your wrists okay? Nemo said they might need stitches,” Wolf asked.
I stared at my hands and didn’t answer.
“I’m not sorry for trying to keep you safe, but I am sorry I tied you up.”
Sam let out an angry noise from between his teeth.
“C’mon, man, I’m trying here,” Wolf’s voice sounded tense.
“You’re gonna have to try a helluva lot harder,” Sam snapped.
“I was tryin’ to keep her safe,” Wolf’s voice rose. “She was threatening to follow us. Would you have wanted her there with the Voiceless?”
“No, but I never would’ve considered tyin’ her up!” Sam shot back.
“What the hell else was I supposed to do? I didn’t cinch ’em tight enough to hurt her. She would’ve been fine if she hadn’t freaked out! Why the fuck did you do that, Em?”
Before I could even consider answering him, Sam exploded.
“Are you fucking serious? When we first found her in that safe, she’d been in there with her hands zip-tied for days.
She was fucking chained up in the clinic for over a week after Madame killed Trey!
Chained! When we finally got her out eight days later, she was still wearing the same clothes stained in Trey’s blood.
So you tell me why you think she might’ve fucking panicked about being tied up in there! ”
Halfway through his rant, I glanced up at them, stunned horror at Sam’s tirade making me feel numb and weightless.
Sam was glaring at Wolf, but Wolf’s eyes were closed, and one hand pinched the bridge of his nose.
My shoulders rose and crept forward, trying to retreat into myself.
I hated that his expression made me feel guilty.
Wolf was quiet for a long time. “Em, I’m sorry,” he finally said.
“I begged you.” The words bubbled out of me, and I wanted to be angry, to scream at him, but instead, my voice came out thick with tears. I wished I could be more like Raven—fierce and strong. All I did was fucking cry lately, and I was so sick of it.
“I know,” my brother’s voice was steady, and mine was anything but, “I thought you were just trying to manipulate me.”
I let out a bitter laugh, furiously wiping away tears. “All I’ve done since you got here is tell you the fuckin’ truth, but you’re never gonna believe me, are you?”
“That’s not fair,” Wolf argued, “Intentionally not tellin’ me shit is the same as lyin’.”
“I only haven’t told you shit ’cause I fucking can’t !” My voice rose.
“What? You can’t just talk?” Wolf crossed his arms.
He didn’t say it cruelly, but the question hurt, and I immediately lashed out. “I dunno, can you? Real convenient of you to forget about all those months when you were too broken to talk. ”
His mouth pressed into a flat line as his ears turned red, and I saw the same hurt I felt flash through his eyes, but it didn’t make me feel better.
“You know what? It doesn’t matter. How about we make this real easy and just never speak again.”
“Ember—”
I stood, strode into the bedroom, and slammed the door. I leaned against the door in the dark room, holding my breath as tears rolled down my face.
“For the record, I knew maybe an eighth of all this before you got here and even fewer details.” I heard Sam say, and I could tell his voice was still angry, even muffled through the door.
“The only one of us who knew more was Trey, and it took over six months for him to be there for her before she could tell him what happened. I don’t think you realize how hurt she was when we found her.
You’ve seen some of her scars, right?” There was a brief pause.
“Well, the worst scars she has are ones you and I can’t see, but Juck put ’em there just as much as the brand on her chest. You demanding she tell you all this on your time is like demanding a man without legs move across a room.
Sure, he can get down on the floor and drag himself across with his hands, but it’s gonna hurt, and it’s gonna be fuckin’ hard, not to mention humiliating.
And how do you think he’s gonna feel if you don’t acknowledge any of that and instead just get annoyed at how long it took? ”
Wolf said something that I missed, but Sam wasn’t done.
“You’re lookin’ at all the shit she’s not doin’ or not tellin’ you and completely missing how fucking hard she’s working at what she is doin’ and tellin’ you.
And lemme tell you, she’s workin’ fuckin’ hard.
You have to make a decision, man. Is she your sister who you want back in your life, or is she your prisoner who you’re turning in for a bounty?
Cause she can’t be both, and you can’t keep going back and forth between the two. It’s not fair to her.”
His words felt like they smacked me upside the head.
That was a big part of why I kept feeling so off balance with Wolf, wasn’t it?
I could never tell if I was his sister or his prisoner.
I wrapped my arms around myself and tried hard to keep my sobs quiet.
I’d never heard anyone defend me like this until Mac stood up to Wolf and, now, Sam.
Mac had told me they knew me, and I believed it now.
“Alright,” Wolf finally said, his voice so low I almost couldn’t hear him. “I’m gonna head back to the clinic.” He paused. “If she doesn’t want to stay there for a while, I understand.”
Sam muttered something, and I heard Wolf walk to the door. As soon as I heard the front door shut, I opened the bedroom door, startling Sam, who had been reaching for the handle.
“Sorry, hope I didn’t overstep,” he said, frowning at my tear-streaked face, but I threw my arms around him and hugged him again. He squeezed me tightly back.
“Thank you,” I whispered hoarsely.
“Anytime, Emmy,” he murmured.
We stood there for a few seconds before returning to the couch.
I didn’t doubt that any of my crew would stand up to Mac in a situation like that.
I also knew Mac would never, but while these realizations were comforting, they also hurt.
I couldn’t stop remembering Lee just turning away from my pleas and leaving me behind.
Vulture had always deferred to Juck and had followed Juck’s orders, even if it actively hurt me.
I wasn’t going to be with someone like that again.
Sam sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders again. “I don’t think your brother meant to hurt you, but the fact is he did, and now he’s gotta deal with it.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Can I stay here tonight?”
“Of course,” he answered immediately, then added in a lighter tone, “You wanna squeeze into my top bunk with me?”
“I might.” A smile tugged at my lips.
The door opened again, and Mac, Griz, and Raven came in, their faces grim. My heart lurched.
“Did you find him?” I asked.
“No,” Griz muttered.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the attack?” Mac asked, crossing his arms, his gaze fixed on me.
“I was going to,” I explained. “Just, a lot of shit happened, and then you had to talk to Nemo.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Well, that’s true.” His eyes went distant, and his jaw flexed. “If Hawk knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay gone.”
“We have good news and bad news,” Sam announced. “Which one do you want first?”
Raven sat heavily on the couch next to me. “Good news.”
Sam grinned. “You’ll like this, Raven. Shortcake convinced Clarity to move in here.”
“Really?” Mac asked, his face brightening.
Raven twisted to look at me, and the fragile hope in her eyes made emotion well in my throat. “She’s movin’ in?”
“Jax took her to go pack,” I said, smiling.
Raven grinned, glancing up at Mac. I followed her gaze to see Mac grinning, too.
“How the fuck did you manage that?” Mac asked.
“Just a little emotional manipulation?” I wrinkled my nose.
“I’ll take it,” Raven said.
“What’s the bad news?” Griz asked.
“The bad news is the Mental Menace has been pretending to be Trey in Shortcake’s dreams.”
Three pairs of horrified eyes snapped to my face.
Wearily, I recounted both dreams, though I didn’t get into the details of what Menace had said about Trey.
When I finished, Sam, Raven, and Griz angrily went off, raging about what they wanted to do to Menace.
Mac, however, was still quiet, leaning against the wall, his eyes on me. Feeling guilty, I met his gaze.
“What’d he say that you aren’t tellin’ us?” he finally asked in my head.
I swallowed .” I don’t think I can say it.”
“Can you show me? Like you did before?”
I swallowed hard and let the memory run through my head. His hands dropped to his sides, fists clenching tight enough to make his knuckles white, and his nostrils flared. The anger emanating from him felt hot enough to spark a fire.
“That is so fucked up.” His eyes flashed. .
“So what does he want?” Raven asked, cracking her knuckles aggressively.
“I have no idea,” I admitted.
“Before, he seemed intent on coming here and getting you, right?” Mac asked, and I nodded. “But he didn’t say anything about that this time?”
I shook my head, realizing with a sinking feeling I was now responsible for the Voiceless and Menace potentially attacking the Vault.
“Em, you’re not responsible for what others choose to do,” Mac said out loud.
“Alright, I see how this whole mind-reading thing is gonna be real fucking helpful with you,” Sam muttered, and I elbowed him. “Quit stabbin’ me with your pointy elbows!”
“You want to stay here tonight?” Mac asked.
“If that’s okay,” I said, feeling weirdly nervous.
“Of course, that’s okay. You’re welcome anytime.”
“Wolf came in here while you were all gone,” Sam said, and the room erupted into angry questions again.