Chapter 37
“ E mber!”
I opened my eyes and stared at the face over me. Menace was crouched beside me, leaning over my body, blue eyes full of rage.
“Where are you?” he demanded.
“Are you the god of the Voiceless?” I rasped instead of answering.
He blinked, brow furrowing. “What? No.”
I stared hard at him, trying to discern whether he was telling the truth.
“I’m not their god,” he repeated, disgust clear in his voice. “Why?”
“You’re not the God of Death?” I pushed, my voice hoarse but fierce.
His jaw muscles tensed, and my heart leapt into overdrive.
“Oh my gods, you are.” Furious tears started rolling down my face.
“No,” he snapped. “I am not a part of the fucking Voiceless, But…” he hesitated briefly. “But I…I am the God of Death.”
“That doesn’t make any fucking sense!” I struggled to sit, but he grasped my arms and pulled me upright.
“Where the fuck are you?” his voice sharpened.
“With the Voiceless,” I choked out, and the shock and horror that filled his blue eyes looked real.
“What?” he snarled, his grip tightening on my arms. “How the fuck did this happen?”
“They took me, and I can’t—” I broke down in sobs.
“Ember,” he growled, shaking me slightly. “I need to know where you are.”
“I don’t know where we are!” I cried.
“Listen to me,” he said, his voice urgent. “Can you focus?”
I tried to shake the cobwebs from my head and focus on him.
“This is important.” His severe tone made my skin break out in chills. “The god of the Voiceless is a fraud.”
The only word I could get out was, “What?”
“He is nothing, simply a man who uses tricks to fool his followers into believing he is a god. He wants you because then he will have a little bit of power and the potential to have children with powers.”
“So there isn’t a prophecy?”
He gave me a sharp, bitter smile. “No, there is a prophecy.”
Horrible understanding crashed over me all at once. “But it’s about you, not him.”
He released me and stood without answering, but his silence and his rigid posture said everything.
“Oh my gods,” I whispered.
“There are powers at play here you know nothing about.”
Tears continued to roll down my face as I stared at him. All I could think about was all the times he told me I belonged to him.
“Have you reached the desert yet?”
“Why the fuck would I tell you?”
Anger filled his face. “What? We don’t have time?—”
“How are you any better?” I snarled through my tears. “You’ve lied to me, threatened me, told me over and over that I belong to you?—”
“So you’d rather go with the Voiceless?” His voice was ice-cold. “Go to their false god and let him fuck you until you’re with child over and over? Is that the life you want?”
I tried to stay fierce and angry, but sobs escaped, and terror made my legs weak. “So, what? I should let you do it?” I choked out.
“Ember!” He leaned down to grip my chin hard and forced me to meet his eyes. “Listen to me. If I had wanted you here, if I had wanted to fulfill this godsdamned prophecy, I would have brought you here a long time ago. Now answer the question, have you reached the desert yet?”
I stared into his blue eyes, blazing with anger, and gave up. “N-no, we’re still in the mountains.”
“Ok, that’s good.” He released my chin and straightened. “He’s close, then.”
“Who?”
He stared at me, and I didn’t know how to read the expression on his face.
“I need to know if I can trust you,” he finally said, and I felt his power stir to life—shadows emerging to twine around his legs—but after everything he’d put me through, that statement infuriated me.
I scoffed, furious. “You need to know if you ?—”
“Ember,” he interrupted me, his voice thundering through the darkness. “This is much bigger than just you and me. To defeat the Voiceless, we have to form an alliance.”
I took a deep breath and tried to choke my anger down. “What does that mean?”
“I can share some information with you, but you have to allow me to place a string in your head.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It’s a small bit of my magic.” He glanced away, and I noticed his ears were pink.
“When I was a kid, the best way I could describe my magic was like strings connecting me to other people. I could use them to control other people, or I could cut them and leave pieces of myself with them, giving me a smaller bit of control without contact. I started calling them ‘strings,’ which just stuck.”
I stared at him, my heart rate picking up speed. “String like a…a puppet?”
He winced. “I know this requires a large degree of your trust. I am only taking this precaution because this knowledge does not just endanger you or me. In this case, the string would simply prevent you from sharing the information I give you.”
“How am I supposed to know you aren’t lying, that you won’t use this string to control me?” I snapped.
He took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know.”
I tried to think, tried to imagine what Wolf would do. “Is there anything you can tell me? Information you can give me in exchange for my trust?”
“I can tell you that I could easily force this string into your head, but I won’t.”
Fear made my head swim, and I scrambled to my feet. “That doesn’t fuckin’ help.”
He sighed.“I can show you my true self,” he said in a low voice.
“I can already see your true self.”
“No, you see my ideal self,” he corrected me, and then shadows seemed to pour from him.
He disappeared from view as the shadows enveloped me, and I could’ve sworn they caressed my face as they passed.
As they faded, I stared at the person who emerged.
He had the same face, stark white curls, and bright blue eyes, but the tall, graceful body and lean muscles were gone.
He was thin and gaunt in a way that reminded me of Sam, but much worse, and sat in a wheeled chair.
I dragged my eyes back up to his face to see him watching me.
His mouth twisted in a bitter mockery of a smile.
“Behold, the terrifying figure of the God of Death.”
“Are you sick?” I blurted out.
“Yes,” he answered, eyes fixed on mine. “My powers are killing me.”
I felt a prickle of horror for him. “Why?”
“Because I need you.”
“What?” My voice sharpened.
“Our powers were never meant to be separated,” he said. “They need balance.”
My eyes narrowed. That sounded like what fucking Talmar said. “And how would they be balanced?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, surprising me.
“Then how do you know my powers would help you at all?” I demanded.
He studied me for several breaths, then sighed, closing his eyes like he was resigning himself. “Because you’ve healed me before,” he murmured.
“When?” My heart was pounding so fast. “I’ve never seen you before.”
“When you tried to heal Dune.”
When you tried to heal Dune.
Dune.
The words echoed around and around my head, but it was like they couldn’t sink in. I couldn’t understand them.
When you tried to heal Dune.
Tried.
I realized in a removed way that shadows were back, but not to disguise him. They wrapped around me as I swayed, forming a solid seat as my knees gave out and gently lowered me into it. He didn’t move from where he sat, but his eyes watched me carefully.
“I…knew Dune,” he finally said after a long time of me sitting frozen, staring at him.
“We were friends. I had to leave Carth abruptly when you were still a baby, and I was upset. I didn’t want to go.
I was a child who didn’t fully understand this power.
I accidentally left a string in him. I didn’t even realize I’d done it until later when I accidentally slipped into his mind.
I should have removed it and left, but I was…
I was lonely, and he was playing with you. ”
I wasn’t sure I was still breathing.
“I had no one, and I was so sick.” His voice grew harsh.
“But when I was in Dune’s mind, I could pretend I was still…
that I had a family. I thought I was going to die, and I justified what I was doing with the fact that soon I would be dead and gone.
” He paused. “Then I saw you heal for the first time.”
I started shaking my head as though I could keep his words from reaching me.
“I knew the prophecy. I knew who you were. I knew what it meant.”
“No,” I whispered.
“I told you not to tell anyone. I made up a story about the people of Carth burning witches and made Dune believe it, too, so he would keep your secret when I wasn’t there.”
“No,” I repeated.
“The Voiceless have eyes and ears everywhere, even in Carth. I knew they would come for you if they caught even a whisper of your power.”
I stared at him in horror.
He visibly swallowed before continuing, “I tried to help you practice with your power. I thought you’d be safe if I could help you get strong.”
“Please,” I interrupted, tears slipping out of my eyes, “please tell me you didn’t… didn’t…”
The pain that filled his face made him appear brittle as glass. “I made Dune stab himself.”
I dropped my head into my hands, sucking in deep breaths and trying to keep from splintering into pieces.
“I had no idea your healing power would flow through the string and into me instead of Dune. Being filled with your power, being healed— it was such a shock that I didn’t react until it was too late.
You started screaming for Wolf, and I panicked that you would reveal yourself.
So I told you not to tell him and left, but I now know that Wolf arrived, and you didn’t try again to heal Dune.
” His voice grew even more rough. “I felt him die, and I knew it was my fault.”
I abruptly stood and paced away from him, pressing a trembling hand to my mouth as tears continued to roll down my face.
I didn’t kill him.
I didn’t kill Dune.
It wasn’t my fault.
The knowledge didn’t bring me any relief, though—just more grief.
The ground shifted beneath my feet, and I realized with horror that the narc was beginning to wear off. I turned back to Menace to see him in his perfect form again, swiftly approaching me.