Chapter 36 #3
“No!” I screamed, stumbling under Dune’s weight as he tipped forward.
I managed to get him to the ground and glanced up, looking for Madame, but she was gone. It was just me and Dune. I fumbled for the wound with my bloodied hands, trying to call my power, but there was nothing. No warmth resided in my chest. It was gone .
“No!” I gasped, tears flowing down my face.
“Ember!”
Wolf ran toward us, and the fury on his face made my panic surge.
“I didn’t—” I began, desperate.
He shoved me so hard that I fell onto my back. I watched, stunned, as he gathered Dune’s bloody body into his arms, glaring at me through his tears.
“Murderer!” he snarled. “I hate you! I hope you die!”
“Wolf! Please?—”
Both of my brothers vanished in black smoke.
I sat up, pulling my knees against my chest. “It’s not real. It’s not real,” I sobbed.
“Em?” A gentle hand on my shoulder made me cringe, but I met Mac’s worried gaze. “What’s wrong?”
I knew it wasn’t real. I knew it wasn’t real, but I lunged forward and wrapped my arms around him. He folded me into his arms, and I clung to him, sobbing.
“Talk to me, sweetheart,” he murmured into my hair. “What’s wrong?”
“Get me out of here,” I begged him, the line between reality and nightmare blurring.
“Ok, c’mon.” He pulled me to my feet, urgency filling his voice. “We gotta hurry, there’s?—”
He made a horrible pained noise, and I stared, uncomprehending, at the blade protruding from his chest.
“Em,” Mac gasped, “run.”
The blade suddenly withdrew, and Mac stumbled to one knee. All of me froze in horror at the sight of myself standing behind him, holding a bloody knife. I met my own eyes, and the horrible version of me smiled.
“No,” I sobbed, dropping to grab onto Mac, but as soon as I touched his skin, he vanished into black smoke.
One by one, I watched everyone I loved die.
I tried to tell myself it wasn’t real, but did it even matter?
I still saw every single one. I still heard them gasp their last words or beg me for help.
Real or not, I knew their deaths would forever be carved into my mind.
They saved the worst for last, and after Zip stepped out of the shadows and snapped Apple’s neck as she screamed for me, I broke.
I collapsed onto the ground and sobbed hysterically in a tight ball.
Gentle hands pulled me upright, and I tried to jerk away, my eyes squeezed shut. I didn’t know who this would be and couldn’t watch anyone else die.
“Hush, it’s over now,” a familiar voice soothed.
I cracked open my swollen eyes and stared at Talmar.
“Ember, do you renounce your defiance and embrace your sacred duty as the Goddess of Life, destined to become the God of Death’s bride?” he asked.
“Fuck you!” I spat between sobs.
The sun was beginning to rise, and the soft pink color of the sky felt jarring. Had we been out here all night long? I tried to get to my feet, but the slightest movement made the world tilt and spin. What the fuck did they drug me with?
“Your fury is understandable,” Talmar said, his voice low and gentle as his human hand brushed my tangled hair from my face.
“The visions of mortality are a harsh but necessary purification. They strip away the illusions of this world and force you to confront the inevitable death that awaits us all.” He caught my wrist when I swatted his hand away and leaned in, his eyes wide and earnest. "You want to protect those you care about? The only way to do so is by accepting your destiny.”
“Get the fuck away from me,” I hissed, trying to jerk free.
His jaw set as he studied me, a vein in his forehead pulsing, but the emotion filling his face looked like disappointment.
“Come, Ember, let us go back to the camp so you may rest.” He got to his feet and offered me his hands, but I scrambled backward away from him. He dropped his hands, fists clenching at his sides, and drew in a deep breath. “Ember, come.”
I snarled a string of curses at him through my tears.
I couldn't shake myself free from the drug's grasp, and the bloody visions played over and over in my head.
After a moment, Talmar exhaled sharply through his nose and moved toward me.
I tried to fight him, but he lifted me into his arms and began carrying me back to the camp, ignoring my efforts to escape.
When we reached the camp, he set me on the ground beside the fire, knelt in front of me, and began to wipe my face with a wet cloth.
I tried to shove him away, but another Voiceless grabbed my wrists and held them firmly.
I struggled briefly, but I was too exhausted to fight for long, and I eventually gave up and let him clean the dirt from my face.
When he brought me back into the tent, Roe immediately began demanding answers, his voice high-pitched with panic.
Talmar answered him, but as soon as I was placed on the bed of furs, I curled into a ball.
After silence fell, I felt Roe shaking me, tearfully calling my name, but I couldn’t respond.
I just cried, my breath still coming in short, frantic gasps until finally, blissful darkness swallowed me.
The sun was bright when I opened my eyes next, and by the stifling heat of the tent, I guessed it was around midday.
I felt nauseous and shaky as I sat up. The tent was empty, and I felt a stab of worry for Roe.
Where was he? I tried to get to my feet, but the room spun and blurred, and I ended up back on my ass.
Someone stepped into the tent, and I slowly focused on Sax’s face. He was crouching in front of me, his familiar impassive expression firmly in place.
“Where’s Roe?” I demanded.
“He’s fine,” Sax replied, offering a waterskin. “You want some water?”
“Is it fuckin’ drugged again?” I snapped.
Some sort of emotion flashed across his face. “No.”
I hesitated, but the thirst was enough to force me to trust him. He stayed crouched on his heels as I drank.
“We’re stayin’ here today, campin’ overnight, and then moving on in the mornin’,” he informed me.
I drank my fill and then handed him back the skin. He took it, but didn't move, and unease slid through me as we stared at each other.
“Alright, it was drugged," he admitted gruffly.
Panic surged through me, and I lunged away intending to make myself vomit up the water. I couldn’t see everyone die again. I couldn't do it. But Sax caught my arm, and jerked me back.
“Bones!” he snapped holding me in place, “It’s not the same thing. This’ll just help you sleep.”
I stared at him in horror, and a little crease appeared between his eyes.
“The fuck?” I got out.
“Just sleep,” he commanded. “It’s alright.”
“Fuck you, you fuckin’… ” my voice was already slurring, my sight getting fuzzy around the edges.
“Just lay down, Bones.” Hands pressed me back down into the furs, and my eyes fluttered closed.
I woke to someone shaking me and sucked in a terrified gasp at the sight of Sax’s face illuminated by a lantern and hovering over mine. He quickly covered my mouth, muffling my shriek.
“Hush,” he growled at me, removing his hand. “I’m tryin’ to help you.”
The tent behind him was dark, but Roe was hovering at his side, eyes wide. My brain moved sluggishly, but the past events trickled in.
“Help me like how you drugged me earlier?" I hissed.
“Bones, get up. We gotta hurry.” Sax held out my boots.
I sat up and snatched my boots from him with a glare, shoving my feet into my boots and struggling to lace them up with my shaky fingers.
“Why?” I managed to ask.
“We’re gettin’ outta here.”
I paused, staring at him. He met my suspicious gaze with his impassive one, but something like guilt flickered in his eyes.
“I didn’t sign up for this religious shit,” he finally said.
“So why don’t you just use your head and leave?” I threw his words back at him, my voice flat. “Why bother with us?”
He shifted slightly on his feet. “I ain’t sayin’ I’m a good man?—”
My eyebrows raised, and a sarcastic laugh escaped my lips.
He shot me a glare. “Even I have my limits, alright? You really think Trey and Mac were able to sneak past me to come bring you food and water in solitary?”
I bit back the flood of furious words I longed to spit at him and continued lacing up my boot. A tiny flame of hope stirred, and I tried to squash it. I glanced at the door and was startled at the sight of two Voiceless lying motionless just inside the tent.
“The guards,” Sax explained, following my gaze.
“Are they dead?”
“Yes,” he said with no emotion.
I didn’t feel any either, simply nodding and shrugging on his jacket.
Once I was ready, Sax led the way. I saw the pistol in his hand and couldn’t bring myself to care if he shot anyone with it.
I grabbed Roe’s hand and held it tightly as we crept through the dark camp; my heart seized at every little sound, but we made it to the woods.
“C’mon,” Sax said, his gravelly voice low. “We gotta run. Try to put as much distance between?—”
“I knew you’d turn on us,” Zana said in a smug voice as she stepped into the moonlight, “you dumb fuck.”
Sax stepped in front of me and Roe. I couldn’t see any Voiceless, but the woods were so dark.
“You think I don’t know you’ve been messin’ with my head?” Sax growled.
I peeked at Zana from around Sax’s massive body and watched surprise flicker across her face.
“I know it’s been you makin’ me feel all this guilt,” Sax continued. “Thing is, I don’t fuckin’ care. This ain’t worth it, Zana.”
“Immortality isn’t worth it?” Zana sneered. “You’ve always been?—”
Sax moved fast for such a big man, lifting his pistol, and the gunshot deafened me. Roe flinched in my arms and let out a little cry, but I stared transfixed at the dark stain oozing through Zana’s jacket over her heart.
She looked down at it and then back up at Sax, betrayal, fury, and fear in her eyes, but Sax turned to me and Roe and roared, “Run!”
I didn’t hesitate. I took off, dragging Roe with me.
Eventually, he got his feet under him, and we ran hand in hand through the dark woods.
Behind us, shouts and angry cries rose. The Voiceless had discovered we were gone.
More gunshots rang out, and I realized Sax wasn’t with us, but I didn’t stop.
Something flew past us, moving so fast I thought it was some sort of vehicle, but I skidded to a stop when a Voiceless appeared in our path.
Roe stumbled, and I jerked him up, spinning to drag us in a different direction.
Another Voiceless voice appeared. Roe started screaming, and I realized they were all around us, trapping us.
“No,” I panted.
“There is no escape, Goddess,” one of them said.
They moved forward, hemming us in until they were close enough to pull us apart. Roe and I both screamed and fought, but then a familiar prick and rush of ice-cold startled me. I caught a glimpse of a syringe, and my stomach dropped.
“No!” I shrieked over and over, but I could tell my voice was already slurring. Beside me, Roe had gone limp in the arms of another Voiceless.
I tried to claw toward him, but the world tilted and went black.