Chapter 36 #2
“Whether you like it or not, you are our Goddess.” He stroked my arm, and I tried to subtly shift away. “But if you prefer, I can call you Ember.”
I gripped the bowl so tightly my knuckles turned white. “What the fuck are you doing?”
His brow furrowed as though confused by my anger.
“You nearly drowned me.”
“What?” Roe gasped.
“The rite of correction is not meant to harm you, merely to cleanse you. What you experienced was intense, yes. The sensation of drowning was a direct confrontation to your mortality, a reminder that life is fragile.”
I scoffed.
He smiled and the patronizing expression reminding me of Juck.
He reached out again, combing his fingers through my tangled, damp hair.
“ You have undergone a great ordeal, and now it is my duty to ensure you are comforted as well as corrected. The water has done its work, and now you must be restored for the path ahead.”
“Don’t touch me,” I gritted out.
“We are bound to ensure you are cared for,” he murmured in a soothing tone, ignoring me. “None of us are permitted to touch you intimately.”
I tried to shift away, but his fingers tightened painfully in my hair, and panic sparked in my brain. “Let go of me!” I shrieked.
The tent door whipped open, and Sax stooped over to fit his tall frame through the entrance. Talmar released my hair, dropping his hand into his lap and pressing his lips together as he regarded Sax with narrowed eyes.
Sax scanned the tent, his face unreadable as usual. “Orin is lookin’ for you, Talmar.”
Talmar let out a sharp breath through his nose, but he stood. “Make sure she eats,” he ordered before pushing past Sax to exit the tent.
Sax stepped into the tent, moving to stand in the center where the ceiling was the highest. He stared at me as I stared at him.
He was probably around the same age as Pa, somewhere in his fifties.
His greying hair was long enough that it almost brushed his shoulders, and a grizzled beard covered his jaw.
He’d never been a clean-cut figure, but he looked wilder than he had at the Vault—skinnier, too, but I knew from being manhandled that he was still stupidly strong.
His hands curled into fists at his sides, and I remembered how he’d knocked me out with one blow in Madame’s dungeon after I refused to heal Nemo, how he’d stripped the skin off my back with that whip?—
“Eat,” he commanded in his gravelly voice.
“Fuck you,” I snapped, and beside me, Roe let out a distressed squeak.
Sax’s expression didn’t change. “Don’t push me, Bones.”
“Or what? You gonna hit me again? Whip me again?” The rage building inside my ribcage felt unbearable.
“If you wanna protect the kid, you better learn to keep your mouth shut,” he stared hard at me as Roe cringed into my side.
“If you touch him, I will kill you,” I snarled. “Just like I killed Madame.”
He didn’t react, so either he already knew, or he didn’t care. “Use your head, Bones, and fuckin’ eat.”
I glared at him, wishing I could light him on fire like Sky had done to Hawk, but I forced myself to continue eating the stew. He stood like a statue, watching me, and I hoped he could feel the heat of my hatred. Apparently, he couldn’t because, after a few seconds, he spoke again.
“You keep fightin’ them, and this is gonna get even worse for both of you,” he said, low.
A wild laugh escaped. “Oh, should I be like you and just roll over and show my belly like a bitch ?”
His face reddened. “Bones, you better?—”
“Or do you just like bein’ other people’s lapdog?”
My mouth was running too fast to catch. His eyes flashed, a muscle in his neck going taut, and I instinctively shifted to put myself between him and Roe. I expected him to retaliate with his fists, but he just stood there, jaw clenched.
“They wanted to know every single detail,” he finally said, even quieter. “All about you and Trey and everythin’ that happened. They know all of it, Bones.”
I gaped at him, too angry for words. What the fuck did that mean? Was he threatening me or warning me? Before I could figure it out, Roe let out a choked sob, and I looked down at him. He was clinging to his bowl of stew, eyes wide, and tears rolling down his face.
I wrapped him in my arms, ignoring Sax in favor of comforting Roe. After a few minutes, Sax simply turned and ducked back outside. Roe and I sat in the dim light without speaking for a long time before we eventually resumed eating.
“We should get some sleep,” I whispered once we’d finished, and he nodded.
I waited until he climbed under the furs before blowing out the lantern. Then I waited some more until his breathing evened out before I quietly sobbed myself to sleep.
The next day was exactly like the last. A Voiceless woke us up, and we ate, mounted our horse, and rode until sunset.
The closer to sunset it got, the more my nausea grew.
They tried to feed me, but I couldn’t eat.
Thankfully chugging an entire cup of water seemed to appease them even though it left a bitter taste in my mouth.
When Talmar came and got me, I was shaking.
Roe sobbed and had to be restrained again, and I didn’t have the energy to try to reassure him.
I assumed we were going to the river we’d been traveling alongside, but Talmar led me deeper into the woods.
We found the other five standing in a small clearing, waiting.
Talmar ushered me to the middle of the circle again, and I tried to brace myself.
“God of Death, we invoke you as humble vessels awaiting your will,” Talmar recited again. “May your shadows guide us and bear witness.”
I scanned the other Voiceless, trying to figure out what horrible thing they would do this time.
“Ember, Goddess of Life,” Talmar said, but I didn’t bother looking at him. “You stand before us with a heart hardened by pride and defiance. You have turned from your divine path and rejected the sacred union with your God.”
I swayed where I stood, the clearing warping in my vision before snapping back to normal. I grimaced, shaking my head slightly, trying to clear it.
“Only by accepting death can one truly honor life.”
Another wave of dizziness hit me and brought me to my knees.
The Voiceless didn't move, but their eyes seared into my skin.
What the fuck was happening? I stayed kneeling on the ground, my fingers digging into the dirt like I could anchor myself.
The outlines of the Voiceless blurred and doubled, the colors growing blindingly bright.
“What?” The word slid out of my mouth and shattered into a million pieces on the ground. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and opened them again. My fingers were no longer digging into the rocky dirt, they were digging into Juck's dead body.
I shrieked and jerked away. My hands were covered in blood, and I wiped them frantically on my pants. Then in one blink, it was gone. Panting, I met Talmar’s gaze, and he smiled.
“You drugged me.” I think I managed to say, but another wave of dizziness had me squeezing my eyes shut again.
“Darlin’?”
My head shot up, and I stared at where Trey stood in the clearing, smiling gently.
“You ok?” he asked, his brow furrowing.
I stared silently at him. This was a trick. It had to be. It was Menace again.
“Hey,” he moved forward and crouched before me, taking one of my hands. I could feel the warmth of his skin, the brush of calluses. “What’s wrong?”
“I know it’s not you,” I whispered.
He frowned. “What?”
“Stop pretending to be him. I know it’s not him.”
“Bones, what are you talkin’ about?” His hand brushed my hair back from my face, and I couldn’t resist leaning into his hand, tears prickling in my eyes.
“It’s not real. It’s not real.” I whispered.
“Hey, c’mere,” he said, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his strong arms around me.
I covered my face with my hands, trying to remind myself this was not Trey. He kissed my hair and then my cheek.
“You’re shaking,” he said.
A sob escaped my clenched teeth.
“Look at me,” he murmured, pulling my hands from my face.
I stared into his soft brown eyes, brimming with sunshine, love, and concern.
“What’s wrong, darlin’?”
“You’re not real,” I meant to shout, but it came out faint.
He frowned, confused, and there was a little bit of hurt in his eyes that stabbed me through the heart. “Bones, c’mon, it’s me.”
I scrambled out of his lap and backed away. “No. No, it’s not.”
He stepped toward me, and when I retreated again, he stopped. “Bones? Hey, what?—”
A gunshot echoed, and he stumbled backward. His hands pressed against his heart, where blood was rapidly running through his fingers and down his arms. Instinctively, I ran toward him, my heart in my throat.
“I love you,” he rasped out, those brown eyes locked on me.
“No! Trey!” I lunged for him as he began to fall, but he vanished into black smoke.
A swell of dizziness rushed over me as I landed empty-handed on my hands and knees from my momentum. I gasped in air, trying to keep from being sick.
It’s not real. It’s not fuckin’ real.
“Emmy!”
My heart stopped at the sight of Dune running toward me.
His entire face lit up in a smile. I’d had plenty of dreams and nightmares about my brother in the past twelve years, but never this clear.
I’d forgotten he had a single freckle on his right cheek and a tiny gap between his two front teeth.
He came right up to me as I huddled frozen on the ground and grabbed my hands, pulling me to my feet.
“C’mon, let’s go!” He grinned. “What are you sittin’ on the ground for?”
“Dune,” I breathed, squeezing his hands in mine. It felt real. He felt real.
“Hurry up, we gotta make it to?—”
Like a vengeful ghost, Madame appeared behind my brother with a wicked grin. I only had time to suck in a gasp before she slashed the knife she held across his throat. Dune’s hands tightened on mine, his face a mask of horror and fear as blood sprayed.