Chapter 7 Lane
Heartbreak looks shell-shocked. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who Kirk is. This is the guy who dumped her, and so, by extension, this is the guy who forced me into sharing my space. He’s officially my least favorite person on this planet.
When she finally manages to tear her eyes away from him, Lois crumples to the ground with the cups, and once her ex spots her, he quickly looks away. He clearly didn’t expect to see her here.
“Let me help you,” I sigh, crouching down to join her.
“It’s fine,” she whimpers.
“Lois, you—”
“I’m dealing with it!”
“Okay.”
I scan the room for Juliet and spot her and the dude standing by the window with a guy from the basketball team.
“What’s up with Lois?” Adam asks as he watches her flailing around.
“That guy with Cart’s sister? He’s her ex.”
“The one who threw her out?”
“That’s the one.”
“Is Lois about to puke?” Lewis walks over to join us. “Why’s she making that face?”
Adam whispers in his ear, and Lewis whips around to eyeball Kirk.
“That guy? He signed to the basketball team; I know him. He shoots pretty well, but he runs like a rhino.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Donovan has joined us. “Need help, Lois?”
She flaps one hand, clutching the cups to her chest with the other as she lunges for the kitchen. She drops the stacks in the sink, holding on to the counter for dear life.
“Now what have you done, Lane?” Don squints at me.
“Nothing to do with me, for once.” I raise both my hands.
“Lois’s ex rocked up with Juliet.”
“So?”
“So it’s not a great look.” Lewis shakes his head.
“Facts. Not cool, man.” He takes on a deep voice. “Do we need to take care of him?”
I watch Lois pour herself a beer, drinking it down in big gulps.
“I’ll be right back, guys.”
I sidle up beside her, looking straight ahead. “You okay?”
“Never been better,” she mutters, her lips still pressed to her cup.
“Please tell me you aren’t about to lose your shit.”
She sighs and pours herself another drink. “Leave me alone, Lane.”
“What? I’m worried, that’s all! It can’t feel too good.”
She side-eyes me, and I smile at her.
“Are you… out of your mind?” she says slowly, biting the inside of her cheek.
“Why do you ask?”
“It’s just the way you switch from Asshole of the Year to Mr. Nice Guy.”
I spin toward the bottles on my left and start shaking up a cocktail in silence. When I turn to her, I whip her drink out of her hand before she has time to react.
“Give it back!” she snarls, clawing at my hand. “I need it!”
“I know. But try this, instead.”
She raises an eyebrow and gives the cocktail a tentative sip before nodding.
“Thanks.” She takes a few deep breaths. “I knew I should never have come. This is all your fault!” she snaps, suddenly furious.
“Meaning?”
“You forced me to come. And now I know that Carter’s sister is the girl he’s…”
“ ‘He’s’…?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Anyway, whatever—this is all your fault!”
I open my mouth to reply, but her friend cuts us off.
“Can I talk to you, Lois?”
The girls drift off to the bathroom. As I watch them disappear around the corner, my curiosity gets the better of me. I follow them down the hall and lean against the wall, straining to hear through the door.
“Want to tell me what he’s doing here with her?” Becca starts.
“Just getting some space,” Lois says dully.
“Since when?”
“What?”
“When did it end?”
“A week ago.”
“So why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“I didn’t think you’d care—”
“We’re friends, of course I care!” Becca snaps. “And a single friend is the best kind, anyway.”
I can’t hear what Lois says to that.
“So where are you living?”
Muffled sounds.
“Wait. Where?”
I still can’t hear.
“No freaking way! You got a horseshoe shoved up your ass, or something?!”
I press my ear closer to the door, but I still can’t make out Heartbreak’s voice, so I head back over to join my best friends around the coffee table. Unfortunately for Kirk, he’s right there in my line of vision.
“So! How long you been screwing Juliet?” I start, falling back onto the couch.
He splutters on his drink, his eyes darting around the room, looking for Heartbreak, I’m sure.
“It’s a recent thing.” He coughs.
“Where’s Lois?” Donovan has lowered his voice, but it’s loud enough for Kirk to hear.
“In my room,” I lie.
Don’s smile widens as he realizes what I’m trying to do. I have no fucking clue why, but I’m getting a kick out of brushing this guy up the wrong way. The sweet taste of revenge—payback for him saddling me with a roommate I never wanted.
“Time to give Laney his surprise!” Lewis whips out a rectangular box. “Here, birthday boy. This is from all of us.”
While I’m busy checking out the wrapping paper, the girls wander back over. I glance up. Lois looks awkward at being forced into the same room as Kirk, surrounded by all of us.
“Isn’t this the same gift wrap as last year?”
“You know what Lewis is like.” Adam laughs. “Of course it’s the same. Folded up nice and neat in his ‘birthday stuff’ box.”
“I got that one, too,” adds Carter.
“Wrapping paper should be ripped and shredded!” Becca calls out, and the guys exchange glances. She doesn’t know she’s playing with fire.
“If he rips it, I’m slashing his tires,” Lewis threatens.
He’s deadly serious, and his wrapping paper obsession is serious, too. He keeps it all, no exceptions. And if I mess up peeling off the tape, he’ll make me pay. I start unwrapping my gift like it’s a bomb about to explode, Lewis watching me like a hawk, the others smirking.
“Wow, a car radio! This is insane, guys.” I hold it up. “Thank you!”
“How old is that thing?” Becca leans over. “Is that from seventies?”
“We went for vintage vibes to match Lane’s car,” Don explains. “Don’t be fooled, though, the features are crazy good.”
Lewis holds out a hand for his precious paper. I get to my feet and thank my friends, leaving Juliet until last.
“Sorry, I gotta run.” She tightens her braid. “Work calls.”
“I’ll come with you,” Kirk says, too fast.
“Catch you later, guys!”
“See you soon, Kirk!” Carter raises his bottle.
“Or not,” I snicker under my breath.
I hug Juliet goodbye, and when Kirk holds out an unsure hand, I shake it loosely, staring him square in the eye.
I don’t know Lois well at all, but I’m struggling to picture them as a couple.
It makes me happy to think of how Juliet will chew him up and spit him back out without a second thought.
With any luck, he’ll be back in a flash to collect his lost property from my apartment, and everyone will get what they want and live happily ever after.
The end. I glance behind me, following his gaze to where Lois is standing back in the kitchen, drinking a little too fast while chatting away to Carter and Becca.
He frowns, turns back to the door, and leaves.
He’s been eyeing Lois ever since he caught sight of her here, but she’s so hammered she hasn’t even noticed.
The evening rolls by nice and chill, and as the booze, pizza, and video games flow, it doesn’t take me long to forget all about Heartbreak.
“Looks like you’ll be spending the night alone, Don.” Lewis points over at Becca.
She’s been draped over the kitchen island chatting to Carter for more than an hour now, and considering the way they’re looking at each other, I’m willing to bet they won’t be hanging around much longer. I realize that Lois, meanwhile, has vanished.
I stretch. “Okay, guys, party’s over. Get the hell outta here.”
Carter and Becca don’t need asking twice, and as soon as they leave, the others follow suit. I walk them down to the sidewalk, hoping to get a little fresh air.
“Happy birthday again,” Adam says when we get to his car. “Say good night to Lois for me.”
I shrug.
“Try not to be too much of a douche to her, Lane. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. This is pretty raw. She bumps into her ex with his new girlfriend, I mean—”
“Hey, you want to be her shoulder to cry on?” I force a smirk. “I’ll swap her for Dexter Drake.”
“Who?”
“Forget it.”
“I know how you operate, dude. You’ve got no tolerance for sadness unless you decide it’s justified. But people are allowed to suffer for all sorts of different things. Even a breakup.”
I stare at him without flinching, and he knows what I’m telling him without me saying a word. He’s smart enough not to push it.
When I get back upstairs, I slam the front door shut behind me.
“Coast is clear!” I yell.
Nothing. I stand there, unmoving. Silence. I scan the room for a sign of Heartbreak.
“Lois?”
She’s not in the kitchen, and she’s not on the couch, either. I swipe up the last remaining bottle of vodka from the coffee table and take a swig as I move down the hall. When I get to the bathroom, I slide open the door. Bull’s-eye!
She’s sitting on the tiles hugging her legs, knees tucked up beneath her chin, gently rocking back and forth. Despite the music pumping in from the living room and how she’s doing her best to hold them back, I can hear the sobs from here.
I clear my throat, but she doesn’t look up. I take another swig and slouch in the doorway. I instinctively want to tease her—not in a mean way, just to take the edge off the situation—but she opens her mouth before I can speak.
“I’m sorry, Lane.”
The sincerity in her voice catches me off guard. “For what?”
“I know it’s your birthday.”
“Yeah, now that you mention it: Where’s my gift?”
My joke falls flat.
“And I know she’s your best friend’s sister,” she continues, “but I hate her.”
She sounds so sad, I don’t know what to say.
“She’s beautiful, she’s totally snatched, and to make it worse, she’s funny, too. Super confident, amazing hair.” Lois shakes her head. “I bet she has the softest skin. Bet she’s wild in bed.”