Chapter 32 Lois
I walk for a while, wandering aimlessly to help clear my head, and by the time I slip back into my room, it’s been hours since I left Kirk standing there outside the mall.
I toss my bag on the bed and kick off my shoes, suddenly realizing just how drained I am.
This has been way too much to handle for one day.
I said everything I needed to say, to everyone who needed to hear it, and now all I want is sleep.
On some level, I feel at peace. But there’s another side of me that’s rawer than ever, Lane’s words echoing through my mind on loop.
I fall back on the bed and roll onto my front, feeling a hard lump underneath my pillow.
I prop myself up for a closer look: a large, blank brown envelope.
Sitting up, I peel it open and shuffle out the thick bundle, and when I see what’s written on the cover page, my eyes widen.
“What the…”
I run a finger over the bound sheets and shudder, my fingers trembling as they trace out the title page.
FAST LANE
Leaning against the back wall, I pull my knees up under my chin and start to read.
It doesn’t take me long to realize I’m looking at a screenplay—and while I know this must be Lane’s work, it doesn’t read anything like the movies he usually makes.
Did he drive all the way over here to drop it off?
And if he did—why? He had plenty of opportunity to say what he needed to say in the car.
I turn the page, despite myself. I don’t get it. It’s the story of how we met, starting with me sitting on those stairs, all the way to… Who knows what. I flip the pages shut. I’m not sure I’m ready to read this—not while my head is such a mess. Why did he write all this down?
There were moments with him that felt amazing, and a part of me wants to read on, desperate for a chance to revisit the good times.
It’s a bittersweet story with a really shitty ending, though.
I still can’t believe I got it all so wrong.
Disappointment pools in my throat. Today was a big deal—telling Kirk off finally felt like I was spreading my wings, but the memory of Lane floats back into my mind, and before I know it, I’m right back where I started.
I refuse to put myself through this all over again.
I will not make the same mistake twice. I rejected Lane earlier, sure—but somewhere deep inside me, I still care.
He apologized—clumsily—but that doesn’t make me feel any better.
I can’t hate him for not feeling the way I do.
Still, it hurts that he didn’t trust me as a friend. That would have been enough for me.
I toss the script on the floor and roll over onto my side.
I don’t need to read any more—there’s nothing in those pages I don’t already know, and I don’t want to relive those painful few months.
I’m going to need some time to move on, and I hope Adam and Lewis will understand my not showing up to their party.
I can’t go. I just can’t. I’m about to start a fresh chapter in a whole new story—my own story.
And I’m starting to realize that’s all that really matters.