Chapter 5 – Sera
Chapter Five
SERA
The door creaks open and I call out, “Papa Johnny, it’s me!”
I’m greeted by a cough loud enough to rattle the walls. The cottage is frigid, and I rub my arms. If it’s cold enough for me to notice, it must be damned cold.
“In here, Seraphine,” comes the raspy voice from down the small hallway.
I set the basket of food I brought from the market onto the kitchen table and head to the back room. Johnny is bundled up in a threadbare blanket in bed, practically hacking up a lung.
“I’m so sorry I haven’t been by,” I say, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead and tucking in his blanket. He’s hot to the touch but shivering. “It’s freezing in here!”
“Too tired to get out of bed,” he mumbles.
I quickly set to work building a fire among the ashy remains of one long gone out. Guilt at being gone for too many days sets in. So caught up with my curse, I’ve failed to make my regular visits.
“Have you seen the boys lately?” I ask when the fire finally catches, its hungry flames devouring the wood.
Johnny shakes his head. “They’re on a hunting trip or something.”
I purse my lips and bite my tongue. My “brothers” never settled down, and half the time, they’re unreliable and taking off on adventures of their own or finding odd jobs here and there.
They’d be lost without me. Ever since Johnny was injured, he’s been cooped up at home, clearly not taking care of himself.
“I should send for a healer,” I say.
“I’ll be fine. Just a little fever.”
“Let me make you something to eat at least?”
Johnny gives a little nod, and I exhale. He can be stubborn as a mule and hates being fussed over.
I set to work in the kitchen and make a hearty broth for him, full of healing herbs. Once it’s ready, I ladle up a serving along with a fresh roll from the bakery. There is hardly any food in the kitchen; my brothers must have been gone for days now.
“Ready for some lunch?” I call out, the food laden on a tray.
Johnny groans and pushes himself into a seated position, looking as if he might try to stand, but he’s in no condition to be moving around.
“You should stay in bed,” I insist. “That’s why I brought the tray.”
A weak smile brightens his face, and he leans against the wall. “You’re so good to me, Seraphine.”
I brush it off and set the tray on his lap. “Please eat. You look like you could use it.”
Watching him struggle breaks my heart just a little. Has so much time already passed? Taking care of him reminds me of when I did the same for him as a wee babe. Just another reminder of how finite life is here in this forsaken realm. I would weep, but I must be strong for him.
“How is life in the grand palace?” he asks between bites.
“Oh, not too exciting,” I reply. “The princess keeps me busy with her mending, and I help out in the kitchens when needed.”
“Ah, that explains how delicious this stew is,” he teases, the herbs working already. “Learn some new things?”
“I might have picked up a few extra skills,” I say with a smile.
“What’s really troubling you?” he asks.
I wrinkle my nose. Johnny could always see right through me, but I don’t quite know how to explain what’s going on without saying, “Actually I’ve been cursed by an ancient fae enchantment and I turn into a swan every night.”
“Seraphine,” he grumbles. “Humor an old man. Help me feel a little useful.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Well, old man, I haven’t been quite myself lately, to be honest. It’s like something inside me wants to escape, and I’m very much out of control.”
Johnny frowns. “Are you unhappy here?”
I look at my hands as they squeeze and release the fabric of my dress, not quite certain how to respond. “In some ways, yes, in others, no. I have a prestigious position and consider the princess a dear friend—”
“But?” he interrupts.
“I miss my home, where I came from,” I almost whisper. “But I could never leave my friends—leave you. I’m needed here.”
Johnny coughs into his elbow before sitting up straighter. The soup has given him just a bit more spunk, and I’m glad he’s looking a little better.
“Now, Sera, you have always taken care of everyone and put yourself last. Perhaps it’s time to take care of yourself. You deserve to have your own life and find someone to love. Have a family of your own.”
I shake my head. That will never happen for me. “I’m fine. I probably just need a new hobby.”
Johnny’s blue eyes catch mine, and he seems to peer into the depths of my soul. “Stop lying to yourself. You’re worthy of more. Embrace the change. If you need to fly, fly!”
The creature inside my being perks up its head to listen, but I quickly shove it down. A large yawn stretches Johnny’s face, and I pick up the tray.
“You need to rest,” I say. “I’ll clean up and try to stop in again soon. I might be going out of town for a while and want to make sure you have everything you need before I do.”
He nods and slides back under the covers. I make a mental note to bring him a new blanket next time. Within minutes, there’s a loud snore coming out of him that I can hear all the way from the kitchen.
The door swings open, and two scruffy men come in.
“Sera!” Jamison exclaims. “Whatcha doing here in the middle of the day? Don’t you have to work at your fancy job?”
I roll my eyes and smile. “Taking care of Papa. From the looks of things, you’ve been gone awhile.”
Tommy pulls me into a hug, and I wince a little at the stench of him. “I’m starvin’. It smells delicious in here.”
“Smells better than you two, that’s for sure,” I tease. “Eat up. I have to return to the palace.”
“Is he all right?” Jamison asks, dropping a heavy pack on the floor.
“He has a fever. If he doesn’t improve in the next day or so, you might need to send for a healer,” I reply.
“Thanks for taking care of him,” Tommy says. “We can always count on you.”
I grab my cloak and basket and nod. “Of course. Will you be here for the rest of this season? I might be accompanying the princess to Maardune for the holiday.”
“We’ll make sure one of us sticks around,” Jamison says. “Be safe.”
“Thank you,” I breathe, relieved to have a plan.
I only hope I can continue to be there for them. The restlessness in my bones is not letting up, and I’m afraid of losing control.
“Spitfire,” Alex calls out, and my step falters before I continue down the palace hallway as if I didn’t hear him.
I’m not ready to face him. Not yet. Perhaps I’m just a coward, but everything between us changed once my secrets were revealed, and now with the curse hanging over my head, I can’t deal with the pity.
Did Rae tell him I’d go on the trip? After visiting Johnny, I’m starting to rethink the plan despite Jamison’s word.
The thought of leaving him alone again for so long is too much.
Can I run? Or would that be too obvious? I glance out the window; the sun has started its descent. I’m running out of time.
“Sera! I know you heard me.” His footfalls pick up behind me.
Maybe he’ll give up if I ignore him. He has to, right?
A hand wraps around my arm and spins me, and I gasp as I come face-to-face with the man I’ve been avoiding for weeks.
“My lord,” I breathe, and his nostrils flare.
“None of that, Sera.”
Before I can rip my arm out of his grasp, he pulls me into a small alcove, drawing the curtain to hide us from view.
“What in the hells do you think you’re doing?” I spit out, finally wrenching my arm away.
Alex’s brow creases, and I note the dark circles beneath his eyes. He palms his face and speaks in a low tone that sends something I refuse to acknowledge coursing through me. “Why were you running away from me?”
“I wasn’t running.”
“Sera,” he growls. “No more lies.”
“It wasn’t a lie. I wasn’t running. Just ignoring.”
Alex’s hazel eyes darken. He takes a step closer to me, and I step back. “I just want to help.”
“There’s nothing you can do. Nothing anyone can do.” Despite Rae’s plan to go to Celestia, I don’t actually believe there is hope for me.
Another step forward from him, and my matching step back has me against the wall, the molding digging into my back.
I put a hand out to keep him from encroaching more on my space.
He’s too close, the scent of him imprinting itself in my nose, in my very being.
Something about him reminds me of—no. I refuse to put words to it.
His sweet woodsy scent curls around the small space. If I hold my breath, will it help?
“Did you stop breathing?” Alex stares at me incredulously. His eyes widen, and he backs up a step. “Fucking hells, do I smell?” He turns his head, sniffing his arm, and I almost want to laugh but wrinkle my nose instead.
“Your scent is quite . . . potent.” He can assume whatever he wants.
He tilts his head and drops his voice to a whisper. “Is this a fae thing?”
I cross my arms under my chest, breathing in deeply and immediately regretting it. This space is way too small for the two of us. “What do you want, Alex? I have chores.”
“Rae’s making you do chores?” he asks, a hint of anger in his tone.
“She’s not making me do anything,” I grit out. “It’s my godsdamned job, if you’ve forgotten, and frankly, it helps take my mind off everything.”
“Shouldn’t you be in the library looking for a cure?” He sounds almost petulant.
“There is no cure, Alex. Get that through your thick head now and leave me be. I’ve made my peace with it.”
“Have you?” He steps closer, and my hand shoots out again to stop him. The firm muscles beneath my fingers tense. Damn. He must be working out between all the research because I do not recall him being this hard. My cheeks heat.
“I’m working on it,” I breathe. “Trust me, if there were an answer, I would be all for looking, but that’s not how curses work.”
“How do they work?” Alex asks. “Surely it’s not something so simple as true love’s kiss,” he says with a wink.
I snort. “If only.” I don’t understand this man. The last time I saw him, he barely spoke to me.
A glint of amusement flickers in his eyes, and he leans in just a bit closer. “If a kiss was all it took, I’d be more than happy to oblige.”
I tilt my head up at him defiantly, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves erupting in my belly. “What, you think you’re my true love?”
“You wouldn’t know love if it bit you in the ass.”
Ouch. But he has no idea how I feel or what I’m capable of.
Without thinking, I dig my fingers into his shirt and tug him all the way to me, his half-open mouth colliding with mine.
It only takes a moment before he presses himself into me, his hands framing my face as he hungrily kisses me back.
I don’t even care about the molding leaving a bruise on my spine; his kiss is intoxicating.
He tastes just like he smells, citrus and honey mixed with sandalwood, and I can’t stop the groan that leaves my mouth as our tongues dance. Fire burns through my veins and—
“Fire!” Alex gasps, wrenching himself from my mouth before pulling me away from the wall.
Sure enough, flames engulf the space we just occupied.
Oh shit.
Alex drags me out of the alcove a safe distance before letting go. “Are you okay?” I nod, and he continues to shout, “Fire!” as he takes off running down the hall toward the kitchens.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit. How is this happening? I haven’t been able to reach my fire in decades.
I fumble within me for the power that has lain dormant for the majority of the last century, and it’s like grasping for something not quite within my reach. I’m going to lose my position. They’ll figure out this was me when the palace burns down, and Johnny will be shit out of luck.
You’re being irrational, Seraphine. How in the hells would they know?
Shouts surround me and water sprays as buckets are hauled in to put out the flames—my flames. I should help, I need to help, but one glance out the window tells me my time is up. The barest tingling of the transformation stirs beneath my skin.
Trying to get lost in the havoc I unintentionally created, I dart through the throng of servants, praying no one will notice me running the wrong direction.
Bursting through the doors to the gardens, I keep running.
Dusk is shedding its final light and Luna’s moon already hangs mockingly in the sky.
The last rays of sunlight dip below the horizon, and I fall to my knees, dreading what’s to come.
I can’t even catch my breath before the cracking, shrinking, and squeezing take over and I lose myself to the night and the swan once again.
My last conscious thought: Alex is not my true love. He’s my mate.