Chapter 4 – Sera #2
“But why?” I ask. “You should be furious with me. You should have left me on Liial to deal with this curse on my own.”
“Gods, Sera.” Rae wipes a tear from her cheek. “Yes, you betrayed me. Yes, I was really hurt when I found out, but when Alex explained how you were used, I decided it didn’t matter. I love you. Deep down, I believe you wouldn’t have betrayed me if you’d had a choice.”
My own eyes brim with tears at the love and care Rae exudes. “I don’t deserve your trust, but I’m grateful.”
Rae smiles and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “You’re my friend, my family. I’m not going to lose you over something beyond your control.”
“Thank you, I really do appreciate your understanding. It was my mistake for revealing my true name. Letting my glamour slip around the wrong person—your father—was my next mistake. I never would have guessed he was versed in the ancient ways of the fae and that he’d use my true name to control me. ”
“Gods, I’m so sorry you were taken advantage of.”
I squeeze her hand. “It’s not your fault. Stop apologizing.”
Rae gives me a weak smile, then shakes her head. “I still can’t get over how long you’ve been here. Tell me more about your life. I find it hard to believe Alex is the first man to make eyes at you.” She winks.
I cross my arms and lean back against the settee. “I loved once. It ended in heartbreak, but as I said, it’s not like anything could have lasted between us. I had to watch him grow old and have a family with someone else.”
“Hells. That’s a tragedy.”
“You’re telling me.” Though that’s not the entire story.
“Well the way you’ve treated Alex makes perfect sense now.”
“Alex is far too full of himself. He’s not my type,” I say, shaking my head.
“Are we talking about the same Alex?” Rae frowns.
“It doesn’t matter. Love isn’t meant for someone like me. I don’t have the luxury of falling for a human. And it’s not like there are any other fae lurking about.”
“Would you want to return home? If there were a way?”
A glimmer of hope flickers within. “I’ve dreamed of home for so many long years.”
“That’s another reason I need to go to Celestia,” she admits.
“There is so much I don’t know, that I’m still learning.
I haven’t told Kian this, but I’m slightly worried I won’t even make it into Celestia.
What if the other gods lock me out because I was never supposed to be one?
I’m no Kyros. They might completely reject me. ”
“You don’t have to believe me, obviously, but I can’t think of why they wouldn’t let you in.”
“Luna seemed pretty vengeful after our last encounter.” Rae moans. “I don’t trust her one bit.”
“Yes, but there are other gods, no?”
“I only know of Veritius and Galyna, but do you think there are even more?”
I tilt my head to the side. “We call them by different names in my realm. But I suppose you’ll find out when you get there.”
“That’s not daunting at all,” Rae says. “I wish I didn’t have to go alone.”
“And I wish I could go with you. Alas, I am no goddess,” I tease.
“Now, back to the reason I came to find you.”
I groan, rubbing the back of my neck. “Why in the hells do you think me traveling to Maardune is better than just sticking to Rakveren, a familiar place? What if I fly off when we’re on the road and can’t find my way back?”
“We’ll figure it out. Besides, I’ll accompany you at the start of the journey, and gods willing, I’ll be there on the way back. Haven’t you ever wanted to explore more of our realm?”
I laugh. “I’ve explored more than you.”
“But have you ever been to Maardune?”
“No.”
“Well, this is the perfect opportunity. It would be foolish not to check if they have further resources and knowledge, in case my trip isn’t fruitful.”
“Fine.” I sigh.
“I knew I could talk you into it.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself now, Rae.”
“Just admit you have to listen to me because I’m a goddess.”
I laugh. “Okay, great goddess.”
“Does it—does all of this”—she gestures broadly—“make things weird between us?”
“Not really.” I shrug, twirling a strand of hair around my finger. “You’re still you, and I’d like to believe you’ll stay the same. Time has a way of changing us though . . . especially when centuries or more have passed.”
Rae bites her lip. “That does concern me, to be honest. I don’t ever want to become so self-centered that I stop caring about this realm or its people the way some of the other gods have.”
“All the more reason not to fall in love,” I muse.
Rae scoffs. “It’s not that bad. It’s worth it if you find the right person.”
“What, and I suppose now you’re going to tell me that Alex is the right person?”
“That’s not for me to determine,” she replies, though there’s a glint of mischief in her eyes. “I do think you are quite amusing together. I feel slightly terrible that Kian will be stuck between the two of you for most of your journey though.”
“At least I won’t have to share a tent with Alex again,” I say with annoyance.
“Not like you’d be sleeping . . . Or do you sleep in swan form?”
“I’m honestly not sure. It’s strange. When it takes over, I lose time. I don’t really know what’s happening.”
“That sounds terrifying,” Rae replies, deep furrows creasing her brow.
I nod. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
Rae has enough worries. I don’t want to tell her my greatest fear: that one day the curse will take over for good and I won’t come back.