Chapter 23 #2
“You’re wrong, Grey. And I know nothing I say right now will convince you of that, but I’m going to say it anyway because you need to hear it.
You need to hear that caring for you isn’t a mistake.
That the only reason I even keep trying to convince myself that I don’t is because I’m scared.
Scared that I’ll grow to hate my brother for what he’s done to you.
Scared that I’ll have to watch you spend the rest of your life in misery.
Scared that no matter what I do, I won’t be able to stop you from feeling like a prisoner.
” He pulls away from me, scrubbing his hand down his face.
“And right now, I’m scared that you’ll never believe anything I’ve just said. ”
I don’t want to believe him. I want to keep that ten-foot wall around me and tell him to go to hell. But I can’t.
Even looking at him now, I can feel that barrier slipping again.
I know I’ve been alone for a long time, but it hasn’t made me this soft.
So, what is it about Kole that makes him so goddamn hard to hate?
I’ve met plenty of men who know how to use their good looks and charm to their advantage, but that’s not what this is.
He’s Thane’s brother. A vampire. I know these things, and yet I get a feeling of safety when I’m around him.
It’s what gets me to let down my guard. It’s what allows me to give in to the laughter and entertain the lighthearted moments when we’re together.
There’s a mark bonding me to Thane, but there’s something pulling me to Kole too.
I just wish I knew what it was so that I could get rid of it and go back to being the Fallon who has an impenetrable fortress around her.
It was easier when I could just see the world as black and white.
Good and evil. Now it’s like there’s a bridge between the two that I seem to be stuck on.
My mind is telling me that Kole is just as bad as his brother and that everything he’s ever said has been a lie, but my heart is telling me that what I feel is undeniable, and that as impossible as it may seem, he really does care for me.
“Okay,” I finally say.
“Okay… you believe me? Or okay, you think I’m full of shit?” he asks, offering me a hand as I make my way off the hood.
“Just, okay.”
It’s all I can offer him, because the truth is I don’t know if I believe him or not. There’s too much push and pull going on inside me to know for sure, and giving him an answer right now feels impossible.
He pauses with his hand on the door handle. “You know what? I’ll take it.”
“You don’t have a choice,” I point out, dipping back into the car. Before I’m even buckled, Kole is sitting behind the wheel, looking at me with a smirk. “What?”
“We just had our first fight.”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop the smile from forming as that invisible pull to him calls to me once more.
“Is that—”
“Thane,” Kole answers, slowing to a stop in the middle of the highway. He’s standing outside of a sleek black car with the passenger side door open. “Looks like there’s been a change of plans.”
“Perfect,” I say flatly.
Kole turns to me and reaches for my hand. “It’s going to be okay.” He must read my confusion because he quickly adds, “Your heart is racing.”
“The last time I saw him he—”
“I know,” Kole interjects, squeezing my hand just slightly. “He’s calmed down, though.”
“He’s calm until he’s not.”
Kole looks like he’s about to say something else reassuring but doesn’t, because he knows it’s true. Instead, he speeds over to my side and opens the door, offering me a hand.
“I’ll take her from here,” Thane tells Kole with a nod. I can sense Kole’s hesitancy, but he lets go of my hand.
Though Thane doesn’t seem to be seething with rage, he’s still unpredictable, and if Kole has concerns about his lack of control, then I certainly do.
Thane closes the car door, and it feels like all of the oxygen has deflated from my lungs.
There’s a heaviness in the air that only thickens when he settles into the driver’s seat.
I wait for him to slam on the gas pedal, but he just stares out the windshield in silence.
My only sense of comfort comes from knowing that Kole is still in the car behind us, though I’m not even sure that should comfort me.
I still don’t know if I should be listening to my head or heart when it comes to him.
“You’re scared.” The sound of Thane’s gravelly voice makes my heart practically jump out of my chest.
“Yes,” I admit, because there’s no point in lying to someone who can hear my pulse and probably smell my fear.
“You shouldn’t be.”
“But isn’t that how you like it?” I say, whipping my head around to look at him.
“No! I mean, yes. But no.” He shakes his head and turns away from me. “Just put your seatbelt on!”
God, he’s insufferable.
An hour of uncomfortable silence has passed, and there’s still so much tension I could cut it with a knife. A while ago, Kole’s car veered off down a different path, and my heart sank. Now it’s just me and Thane, heading who knows where because he refuses to tell me.
Eventually, Thane pulls over on the side of the road. We’ve been winding through the woods for the past forty minutes, so I have absolutely no clue where we are.