Chapter 37
There’s a wave of relief when I wake and find Thane already gone.
It’s not that I regret last night, because I don’t.
But in the light of day, it feels a lot more complex than just getting caught up in the heat of the moment.
Ever since we signed the contract, we’ve been trying to figure out our new dynamic, and this certainly complicates things.
Being his pet made sense. I mean, I hated it and despised him for it, but that dynamic made sense to me.
He’s an Alpha hybrid, and I’m just a human girl.
But it’s not that simple anymore. We’re bound to each other by a bond that demands our attention, and the longer time goes on, the harder it is to resist.
Besides, now that I’ve had a taste of Thane, there’s no going back.
Nothing has ever felt so good and so right.
And everything about that scares me. I don’t want to crave him or miss him, but I do.
Even now, there’s a sort of emptiness living inside me.
Like a part of me is missing, and somehow, I know if I’m not careful, that emptiness will grow until I’m completely hollowed.
Giving in to the lust is no doubt a dangerous game, but it feels impossible to defy the bond’s demands any longer.
I can convince my mind that any feelings for Thane are only a result of the mark, but it’s my heart that I’ll have to work overtime to persuade.
Especially if he’s not torturing me anymore.
Luckily, I’m an expert at setting boundaries.
If we’re going to play with fire, then I need to make sure I don’t get burned.
After everything that went down last night, I think some time away from each other would be good for us.
It’ll give me a chance to make sure that I can give in to the physical pull without getting swept away with unwanted emotions.
I’ll be with Kole today, and maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll agree to accompany Sienna and me to Seattle this weekend.
With that thought, I hop out of bed and head down to the dining room.
A plate of French toast, topped with powdered sugar, is already waiting for me, and I practically inhale the whole thing within a few minutes before heading back to my room to get ready.
Since we’ll be outside, I opt for a pair of thick grey leggings and a white turtleneck sweater.
I’m just in the middle of sending a text to Sienna, asking if she’d be down for Seattle this weekend, when I hear a knock on my door. I open it to find Kole holding a coat and boots in his arms.
“Thought you could use these today.”
“Wow! Thank you!” I grab the pair of white snow boots and slip them on. “And thank you for breakfast.”
“I wanted to start the day off right,” he says, holding out the powder blue peacoat for me to slip my arms into.
I pull my hair out from underneath the collar and spin around to flash him a grateful smile. “Shall we?”
“We shall.” He motions for me to take the lead, shutting my bedroom door behind him.
I can’t help but smile when I find my seat warmer on and the heat already blasting.
Since Kole runs cold, I know he only did it so that I would be comfortable.
It’s a small gesture that may seem insignificant to most, but not to me.
Even him making my favorite breakfast means something to me.
It’s like he sees me, and not in the way Thane sees me.
It’s deeper than that. It goes beyond the physical.
I think he might actually know me. Maybe not everything about me or what I’ve been through, but he knows me.
And after spending most of my life feeling invisible, I don’t take that for granted.
“How’d it go with Thane last night? I saw his doors were fully intact, so that must be a good sign.”
Heat immediately floods my cheeks, and I quickly look out the window to hide it.
“Oh, umm. Yeah. It was fine.”
“Good. I don’t think I could handle another one of Thane’s temper tantrums right now.”
“Hey, so would you want to come to Seattle with Sienna and me this weekend?” I blurt out in an effort to change the subject. “The contract says one of you has to be there, so I just—”
“Been back less than a week, and already looking to run off again?” he teases, glancing over to look at me.
“I’m used to being in survival mode, so spending my days reading and doing puzzles is a bit suffocating.”
It’s not the main reason I want to get away, but it’s still a factor.
“I can understand that,” he says, offering me a sincere smile. “There’s some business I need to take care of in Seattle anyway, so this weekend is perfect.”
“Great!”
I pull out my phone to text Sienna and find one from her saying that she’s down to go. She also sent one hounding me for details about last night, but I told her she’ll have to wait and hear about it tomorrow.
The two hour car ride goes by faster than I thought it would. Kole and I spent most of the time talking about trivial things, but it was exactly what I needed. A distraction from all the thoughts about Thane and the life I now live.
“Alright, it’s a little bit of a hike to the pond, but I have a feeling you won’t mind.” Kole flashes me a smirk like he knows something I don’t and darts over to open my door before I have the chance to.
He holds out his hand to help me out of the car, and my feet immediately sink into a foot of powdery snow.
“Good thing you got me these boots, huh?”
“See, Grey? I’m not just a pretty face.” He tosses me a cheeky wink, and I shake my head, playfully pushing him out of the way.
We make our way into the winter wonderland, following a path Kole already carved out.
I had expected it to be freezing, but I haven’t even noticed the cold.
Maybe it’s because of the new coat, but I think it’s just because I’m so distracted by the view.
It’s straight out of a Hallmark movie. Other than the path we’re on, the blanket of snow is untouched.
All around are fir trees coated in the pristine powder, and there’s an air of calmness.
It’s like the chaos of the world can’t get us up here.
Like we’ve been tucked away in a snow globe and put on a shelf for safekeeping.
“Told you that you wouldn’t mind the hike.”
“This is incredible,” I gape, looking up at the massive trees.
Even though this is pretty much what it looks like back at the house, it’s different being immersed in it. Maybe now that I have a coat and snow boots, I’ll start going on daily walks, so I don’t go stir crazy. It would be a nice change of scenery, and my mental health could certainly use it.
“So what are you two going to get up to in Seattle?” Kole asks.
“I don’t really know. It would be fun to go out for once. Maybe go to a bar to drink and dance. I definitely need to go shopping for some new pajamas while I’m there.”
Kole laughs. “The silk nightgowns not your style?”
I shake my head. “I prefer something that doesn’t look like it’s straight out of a lingerie catalog.”
“That’s too bad. I quite like seeing you in those nightgowns.”
I cock my head at him, but he just shrugs.
“How much farther?” I ask before my cheeks start to pink.
Kole abruptly pivots, looking down at me with a grin before swooping me up and taking off.
I wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to him as the wintry air breezes past us.
When Kole finally stops, the world slowly comes back into focus.
He sets me back down and spins me around by the shoulders to reveal a deep blue, frozen pond.
A few feet away there’s a bench with two pairs of skates, and along the back edge of the pond sits a log cabin.
I whirl back around to face Kole. “How did you find this place?”
He takes my hand, guiding me over to the bench. “I’m not exactly sure when I came across the pond, but about two years ago, I decided to build the cabin.”
“What?” I gasp. “You built that?”
His jaw goes slack. “I’m offended you sound so surprised.”
“I just didn’t take you for the builder type.”
Kole drops down to his knee and slips my boot off, replacing it with one of the skates.
“One of these days, you’ll learn that I’m a man of many talents.” When he looks up at me, his white eyes seem to shine even brighter.
“You know what I have learned?”
“What?” he asks, continuing to tighten the laces.
“That you like to take care of people.” His head snaps up, his face pinched with confusion. “You’re always doing things for me. Like today, you made my favorite breakfast and warmed up the car. Even now, you’re lacing up my skates, even though I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.”
He laughs and drops his gaze to work on the other foot. “I think you just bring it out in me.”
“Because I’m human?”
“No.” He rests his hand on my knee, making electricity hum throughout my entire body. “You bring it out in me, because I enjoy making you happy.”
There’s a lump in my throat that I try to swallow back down.
What am I supposed to say to that?
“That’s a good thing, Grey.”
“I know.”
A taunting grin pulls at the corner of his mouth. “Then why do you look like you’re about to be sick?”
“I don’t look like that! I just… I—”
“It’s okay,” Kole interjects, giving my leg a comforting squeeze.
“I know you’re not used to being cared for.
” He places my foot back down and reaches for my hands to pull me up.
Everything seems to still as he looks down at me, still holding onto my hands.
“Just know that when it comes to me, you’re going to have to get used to it. ”
I bite down on my lip, fighting back the smile. “I think I can do that.”
“Good.”
Kole changes into his hockey skates within a breath and takes my hand, guiding me to the edge of the pond.
He goes first, stepping onto the ice before turning around to offer me his other hand.
The moment my blade touches the ice, I jerk backward, but luckily, Kole keeps me upright and helps steady me, keeping a tight grip.