Chapter 37 #2
Each step I take barely gets me anywhere. It’s like I’m learning to walk for the first time, and when I try to take a bigger step, my skate slides out from under me. Fortunately, Kole saves me from the fall, but proceeds to toss his head back with laughter.
“Hey, no laughing!” I whine, trying to balance myself.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” He tilts his head, looking at me like it’s taking everything in him to hold back his amusement. “Try gliding instead of walking.”
“How do I do that?”
“Here, I’ll start us off so you can get a feel for it.”
I nod, and he starts to swivel backward, taking me with him. I keep my eyes trained on my feet to make sure they stay straight, but even when I wobble, Kole’s grip never wavers.
“Okay,” Kole says, drawing my attention back to him. “Now, push off and glide one foot at a time.”
I’m hesitant at first, but eventually give it a try.
“Oh my gosh!” I squeal excitedly. “I’m doing it!” Kole chuckles and lets go of one hand. “Wait!”
“It’s okay.” He glides behind me, grabbing the hand that he just let go of.
“You’ve got it,” he reassures, following behind me.
He matches my movements as we slowly make our way around the pond, and the tension starts to leave my body.
After we make it a full lap, I loosen my death grip on Kole’s hands. “I’m going to let go now.”
“No! I’m not ready!” I try to force him to stay, but he’s too quick and slips away.
“You’re doing great!” he praises, as he starts skating circles around me. “You’ll be skating backward in no time!”
“Yeah, I don’t know about all that,” I disagree, trying to concentrate on not wiping out.
All of a sudden, my toe pick catches on the ice, and I go sailing forward. Just when I’m about to faceplant, Kole pulls me back into a dip.
“Nice catch,” I breathe, looking up at him.
“I’ll always catch you, Grey.”
He pulls me back up, shifting his hands to my waist to steady me. I wait for him to let go, but he doesn’t pull away, and neither do I. Instead, we both stand in the middle of the pond, clinging to the moment for as long as we can. It’s like we’re in a bubble, separate from the rest of the world.
Eventually, his hands fall away, leaving the ghost of them behind.
I’ve been so caught up with Thane that I forgot just how strong of a pull I have toward Kole.
Before Thane set me free, I was torn between wanting to trust him and not wanting to let my guard down.
I couldn’t let him in when I knew he would sit back and continue to let Thane torture me if Thane decided to change his mind about my freedom.
But so much has happened since then. He convinced Thane to sign a contract that would protect me from him, while allowing me to create a life for myself.
Time and time again, he’s shown me that he cares for me. The more I really think about it, I can’t fault him for standing by Thane. If I’m being honest with myself, I can see that there’s more to Thane than just some torturous monster. He’s his brother and the only family he has.
Could I really expect him to give that relationship up for me?
Still, Kole has done everything in his power to give me a better life.
If it weren’t for him, I’d be on the run right now.
Instead, I’m ice skating for the first time in my life, in the most magical place I’ve ever been.
It’s like overnight, my life went from a nightmare to a fairytale.
Nothing is black and white anymore. There’s only grey.
And within the grey, there’s Kole. A vampire.
Thane’s brother. Someone I have no business feeling something for, and yet when his white eyes meet mine, it feels like my world has finally stopped spinning.
I feel safe with him in a way I’ve never felt in my whole life.
It feels like no matter what happens, he’ll always be there for me.
Like the universe sent him to watch over me in this new life.
I’ve never had a constant. It’s just been a sea of souls, drifting in and out.
Friends, boys, foster families. They’ve all been temporary.
Even Sienna’s friendship feels fleeting, though maybe that’s just my trauma talking.
But Kole…
He’s somehow embedded in me. When I closed the door on him that day after the eclipse and I thought I’d never see him again, it felt like my world was crashing down. Mentally, I brushed it off, but a fissure had formed in my heart that I couldn’t ignore.
I’ve been throwing all of my attention into Thane, but I wonder if part of that is because I’m too scared to face the feelings burning inside of me for his brother.
With Thane, it’s simpler. My attraction to him comes from the bond.
But with Kole, there is no bond. At first, I could convince myself that it was just a natural attraction to his vampire beauty, but it’s so much deeper than that.
Up until now, I’ve been able to distract myself from it all.
But there’s no more running from these feelings now that we’re alone.
It’s like there’s a gravitational force, pulling us together. Like my entire soul is being dragged to him, and I don’t think I could stop it even if I wanted to.
“I didn’t tell you before, because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I’ve planned for us to stay at the cabin tonight.” There’s a nervousness to Kole that I’ve never seen before. Almost like he’s holding his breath, waiting for my response.
“Does Thane know?” Kole’s brows furrow, and I hate that that was the first thing to come out of my mouth. “I just mean… you know how he gets.”
“Yeah, he knows,” Kole says flatly.
Of course he knows. Why would Kole hide something like that from him?
And why would Thane mind? I doubt he even knows there’s a connection between Kole and me.
If he did know, he’d probably lose his fucking mind.
Not only because of the possessiveness of the bond, but because there are complicated feelings when it comes to him and his brother.
If Thane felt for even a moment that they were being pitted against one another, all hell would break loose.
After what happened between Thane and me last night, it feels even more wrong to feel the way I do, but I can’t help it.
“Right. Of course.” There’s an awkward pause as I try to figure out how to salvage my reaction. “Well, I want to go check it out!” My enthusiasm is real, but it comes out sounding a bit mocking.
Kole looks disappointed, but he reaches out his hand to escort me back to the bench, where he begins unlacing my skates without a word.
“Wait.” I exhale a breath, pulling my foot away so he’ll look up at me. “I didn’t go about this the right way. I just… I’m really happy to be up here with you, and I didn’t want a pissed off Thane ruining it.”
The tension in his shoulders seems to ease, and his face slightly softens. “I understand, Grey. You and him are a package deal now.”
“I wish we weren’t,” I sigh.
“Yeah, I wish you weren’t either.”
Silence hangs in the air while he continues working on my skates.
There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t seem to find the words.
Or maybe I can, and I just know it’s better not to go there.
At least this way, I can continue to pretend there isn’t some invisible string winding itself around the two of us.
Feeling this connection is one thing, but if I admit it, there’s no going back.
Even if I knew he felt the same way, it wouldn’t matter.
He’s a vampire. I’m a human. He’s Thane’s brother, and I’m bound by the mark.
The only thing we could ever be is friends, because there’s no world in which Thane would accept us being anything more.
My fate has already been written, and it’s got a hybrid Alpha attached to it.