Chapter 42
The concept of time seems to drift as the music somehow quiets.
It feels like we’re the only two people left while everything and everyone else falls away.
Looking up at Kole, it’s hard to believe that he’s a different species, but maybe the reason I don’t see a deadly vampire when I look at him is because I’ve always believed that we’re souls, and our bodies are just vessels.
Instead, when I look at him, I see a man whose strength comes from his resilience.
Whose heart is as pure as they come. And who possesses more humanity than most of the humans who used to walk the earth.
He's good. The kind of good I’ve never had in my life. The kind that chases away the darkness and replaces it with light.
Suddenly, Sienna yanks my arm, dragging me away to the bathrooms as the rest of the world comes back into focus.
It’s like Kole and I had been caught in a moment where time didn’t exist. I’m not sure how long we’d been dancing, but judging by the heavily intoxicated girls now bumping into me, it must’ve been for quite a while.
“I knew there was no way your friend zone plan was going to hold up once the tequila hit,” Sienna teases, throwing her head back with laughter.
“Ugh! Why does he have to be so hot with those damn irresistible dimples?” I slouch against the wall as we take our place in line.
“Those damn dimples,” she agrees, shaking her head.
“Well now that we’ve established my plan is royally fucked, who’s the man meat you’ve been dancing with?”
Her cheeks immediately blush beneath her tan skin.
“His name is Rowan, and he doesn’t have one single thing going on in that pretty little head of his, but he’s nice to look at.
” I choke on my laugh, breaking out into a coughing fit as the line starts to move.
“He asked me to stay with him tonight, but I said we’re having a girl’s night! ”
“What? No, you should go!” I insist. “One of us should be allowed to get laid tonight, and we both know it won’t be me.”
“Are you sure?” she asks, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Yes! I’ll probably just pass out when I get back to the apartment anyway. Besides, this’ll give you a chance to forget all about a certain vampire guard you ran into earlier.”
Sienna can keep telling herself that nothing happened between her and Kieran, but after seeing them interact today, I’m certain there’s still unfinished business there.
“Okay, fine,” she agrees with a look that tells me she really does need the distraction.
If anyone can understand what it’s like to have unwanted feelings for someone, it’s me.
On our way back from the bathroom, we stop at the bar to grab our things. Rowan and Kole must’ve spotted us, because they’re already waiting by the door when we turn around.
“Sienna’s going to go home with him,” I tell Kole, handing him my purse so that I can put on my jacket. “Do you have a key to the penthouse so she can have mine?” I ask, not knowing if the one he gave me was an extra copy.
“Yeah, of course.” He holds my purse open while I dig out the key and hand it to Sienna.
Rowan makes a move to follow Sienna and me out of the club, but Kole throws his palm into Rowan’s chest to stop him.
I can’t hear what he’s saying, but judging by the wary look on Rowan’s face, it’s probably something along the lines of, “Hurt her and I’ll kill you.
” Sienna doesn’t seem to notice, but when I catch Kole’s eye, there’s a cocky grin forming on his lips, confirming my suspicions.
I hug Sienna bye, and she promises me she’ll be back first thing in the morning.
“What exactly did you tell him back there?” I ask, while Kole and I wait for the valet to bring the SUV around.
“I just told him that if he did anything Sienna didn’t like, I’d cut off his dick and shove it so far up his asshole it would take surgery to remove it.”
“Jesus, Kole! What the hell?”
He looks down at me and shrugs. “It needed to be said.”
“The poor guy probably won’t even be able to get it up now.”
Kole scoffs and opens the passenger side door for me. “Did you see her in that dress? I don’t think he’ll have any problems with that.”
“Didn’t realize you were looking,” I mutter to myself.
The moment the words leave my mouth, I realize Kole’s vampire ears heard every one of them.
Regret instantly hollows my stomach when I see the confused look on his face.
I scramble into the car, hoping he’ll just act like he didn’t hear me, but when he gets into the car and turns to me, that hope quickly dies.
“Sienna is a beautiful girl, but no part of me wants to rip her clothes off.”
“I-I know,” I stutter, completely mortified by this entire interaction. “Well, I mean, I didn’t know… but I do now… I guess.”
Kole puts the car in drive, and I swear every molecule of oxygen evaporates from my lungs when he hits the gas.
“Good.” He takes his eyes off the road to look at me. “I wouldn’t want you to think she’s the one who holds my affection.”
My mouth instantly becomes desert dry, and when I swallow, it feels like a hundred rusty nails are scraping against my throat. I turn my attention out the window, repeating his last words in my head.
Was that his way of telling me that he feels something for me too? It’s not like the thought hasn’t occurred to me, but acknowledging it makes it more real, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
The rest of the car ride goes by achingly slow as I’m buried beneath a mountain of embarrassment.
How pathetically jealous I must’ve sounded to him.
Why couldn’t he just act like he didn’t hear me?
And why did he have to make that last comment?
I’ve replayed it a hundred times over, and it’s eating me alive.
He was implying that I’m the one who holds his affection, right?
But if so, what does that even mean, and do I even want to know?
It’s already driving me crazy having to ignore my own feelings without knowing how he feels.
I’m so far down my mental spiral that when we make it to the penthouse, I hardly have any recollection of how we got here. Kole unlocks the door but doesn’t follow me inside. Instead, he remains in the hallway, looking at me with an expression I can’t quite read.
While we stand there, facing one another, the doorway separating the two of us feels like a juncture, presenting me with two impossible paths.
There’s one path where I say goodnight and close the door, forgetting about everything that happened tonight.
But then there’s the other path, where I ask him to stay and see this night through.
Both somehow feel like the right choice and the wrong choice all at the same time.
“Goodnight, Grey,” Kole finally says, taking a step back as I reach for the door.
“Wait.” I pause, gripping the door like it’s a lifeline. “You could stay… I just mean, Sienna isn’t here, and it’s an awfully big apartment for just me.”
Fuck, Fallon. What are we doing?
“Are you sure?” he asks, taking a step inside. “Seattle is supposed to be your escape.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to escape anymore.” I chew on my lip, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn’t say anything at all. He just stares me down while he closes the door behind him and locks it.
Every passing second feels like a tipping point. Like anything we say or do will somehow change everything.
“So…” I clear my throat as the tension between us threatens to suffocate me. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Sure,” he says, following me to the kitchen.
I uncork a bottle of red wine and stand up on my toes to reach the wine glasses. I’m just about to pinch one of the stems between my fingers when Kole grabs the glass, looking down at me with a smirk.
“Thanks,” I say, pouring the wine while he holds the glasses.
I take one of them and down half the glass before immediately refilling it. I can feel Kole watching me, so I turn on my heel and head toward the grand piano.
“Do you play?” Kole asks, taking a seat on the bench next to me.
I turn to him with my head tilted. “Do I seem like the kind of girl who grew up taking piano lessons?”
He huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “No, I suppose not.”
“There is one thing I can play, though.” I roll my head back and shimmy my shoulders before hitting the keys. When I’m done, I turn to Kole with a pretentious smirk.
He cocks a brow at me, trying and failing to hide his smile.
“Hot cross buns. Very impressive.”
I shrug, picking up my glass and swirling the wine around. “Juilliard offered me a full ride, but I wasn’t really an east coast kind of girl.”
“Then what kind of girl were you?”
“The kind who stole from gas stations and ran from cops.” Tight lines form between his brows, making me wish I hadn’t just said that. “But that was before,” I quickly spit out. “Now, I’m the kind of girl who does puzzles and paint by numbers.”
“Hmm, and here I thought you were the kind of girl who told off vampire assholes and spit in guys’ mouths.”
My jaw falls open, and I shove Kole with my shoulder. “I didn’t just spit in his mouth! There was alcohol involved.”
“Riiiight.” His eyes fall to the piano as his fingers glide over the white keys.
“Play something for me.”
Kole’s hands linger over the piano for a moment before he begins to play the most beautiful yet haunting song I’ve ever heard.
Something about it is heartbreaking, and it makes me wonder why he chose this song to play.
As the last note rings in the air, Kole places his hands in his lap, and it feels like he’s somewhere else.
“That was beautiful,” I say, idly running my fingers over the keys.
“Thanks,” he rasps, slowly lifting his head to look at me. “I wrote it.”
I don’t ask him what inspired it, not wanting to add to the pain I can already see etched on his face. Instead, I ask him to teach me a part of it. I try to match his movements, but hit the wrong key, throwing it all off.