Chapter 7
Ian
On Tuesday afternoon, I crank up the volume in the Jeep and howl along with the radio all the way to Dr. MacDougal’s office.
The legal paperwork I had drawn up yesterday is in the passenger’s seat, ready for our signatures.
I’m so amped that this is really happening.
I know Julia thinks she might not be able to conceive easily, but my nose doesn’t lie. We’re going to be one and done.
Now that I think about it, maybe that’s not such a good thing. I’d like more than one shot at breeding my mate. My cock is in perfect agreement, so much so that it pops a tent in my jeans when I spot Julia in the parking lot, and I have to wait an extra minute before I get out of the car.
A smile breaks across her face when she sees me.
Goddamn, she is beautiful. I know she’s not mine forever, but the thought that she can be mine for a little while?
That I get to seed her and watch my pups grow in her belly?
Those memories will last me a lifetime. I want to shake her husband’s hand for being so open-minded.
“I like the polka dots,” I tell her, referencing her gray T-shirt dress with cheerful green circles all over it. She has a matching green cardigan over it and is wearing brown boots that add a couple inches to her height.
“I like the plaid,” she says back, nodding at my flannel shirt. It’s green and gray, too, I realize. We look like we coordinated our outfits for a fall photo shoot.
I fold her in a hug before we walk into the office. It’s just a friendly hug, but I take a lot of pleasure when she melts a tiny bit in my arms, leaning into me. She’s eating up the contact as much as I am.
“Thanks,” she says, avoiding my eyes when we pull apart. “I guess I needed that.”
“Nervous?” She nods and exhales shakily. I put my hand on her lower back to reassure her as we enter through the office’s double-doors. “I’ve got you. We’re in this together, okay?”
She nods again, and then her eyes slip around the waiting room, taking in the patients waiting to meet with their doctors. Most of them are wulvers, but there are a two couples with a non-wulver partner. I can tell that makes her feel a little less apprehensive about this.
“We’re here to see Dr. MacDougal,” I tell the friendly-faced receptionist, a young Vulpine with “they/them” in small print on their nametag. “We have a 3:30 appointment.”
They brighten. “You must be Ian and Julia! Welcome. Congrats on taking the first step toward starting your family. The doc is running about ten minutes late, but if you two could fill out some paperwork while you wait, that would be great.” They pass us two clipboards, one labeled “Sire” and one labeled “Dam,” and motion to a section of the waiting room with empty seats.
“Thanks,” Julia says to them, taking her clipboard, sounding more at ease than she did in the parking lot.
We sit side-by-side, filling out our health histories and contact information. I make a mental note of her last name—Norman—and I catch her sneaking a peek at mine, too. I tilt the clipboard so she can see my info better, and that gets a giggle out of her.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lyall?” a wulver nurse in lavender scrubs calls. “We’re ready for you.”
“That’s us,” Julia says, standing. She winks at me when I sit there, stunned that she didn’t correct the nurse. She tucks her clipboard under her arm and holds out a hand to help me out of my seat. “Come on, hubby.”
“You don’t have to pretend,” I murmur to her as the nurse leads us back to an exam room. “It’s perfectly fine to be candid about our situation.”
Julia shoots me a look that I can’t quite decipher.
“I don’t mind. We both know it’s just pretend, but you deserve the real thing.
I might not be able to give that to you, but I don’t want to completely rob you of the experience, either.
I’m like…your ten-percent mate, but that’s the best I can do. ”
My nostrils flare as I try to rein in my emotions.
She’s more than ten percent mine. She’s one-hundred percent my mate, even if we can’t have a traditional romance.
But I understand what she’s trying to do.
She’s trying to gift me a piece of happiness, a memory that isn’t stained by our real-life complications.
My hand on the curve of her lower back again, I lean close to her ear. “Thank you.”
“You can hop up here, Mama,” the nurse chirps, patting the paper-covered table. She takes our clipboards and hands Julia a folded paper sheet. “Go ahead and shuck those bottoms, and Dr. MacDougal will be right in.”
She leaves us, and Julia gives me a sheepish grin. “Do you mind turning around?”
I jolt out of my daydreams. “Oh! No! Of course not. I don’t have to be here at all, if you’re more comfortable…”
“It’s okay. Nothing’s going to show. I just look silly wiggling out of my drawers.”
I bet she doesn’t. I bet she looks like a pretty pinup with her skirts up and her drawers down. But I turn around to give her privacy, forced to use my imagination.
A quick rustle. “Done.”
When I turn back, she’s perched on the table, the paper sheet spread demurely over her lap.
I spy a pair of peach panties folded on a chair, and my mouth salivates.
I want those panties in my pocket by the end of this appointment, even though that makes me the world’s biggest creep at this point.
I’m discreetly wiping away the line of drool on my chin when a soft knock at the door announces the doctor’s entry.
“Ian!” Helena MacDougal exclaims. A gray wulver with a silver mask, she’s wearing black scrubs and has a stethoscope looped around the back of her neck. She gives me a brief hug, her tail wagging. “So good to see you here, and with a mate! Your sire didn’t tell me.”
“Family friend,” I explain to Julia, who’s clutching the paper sheet and looking between us. To Helena, I add, “I haven’t told him yet. Early days still.”
“Ahhh.” She nods. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you”—she checks her paperwork—”Julia! Feel free to call me Helena or Dr. MacDougal, whichever makes you the most comfortable. I’m sure I’ll be seeing a lot of you if you’re joining the Lyall clan.”
“Nice to meet you, too.” Julia’s eyes are on her lap, though. I can tell she feels awkward. I move closer to the table, resting my hand near her in case she needs moral support. I’m relieved when she takes it, lacing her fingers through mine. The hard circle of her wedding band digs into me.
Helena smiles at her, exposing her bright-white canines. “Looks like we’re doing a general reproductive health check today?”
Julia nods. “I’m…older. We just want to make sure I can still conceive.”
“You came to the right place. I can send you for some blood tests to check hormone levels if you’d like, but to be frank, in your forties, your hormones can be all over the place, so it won’t tell us a lot.
What’s going to give us the quickest information is taking a look at your ovaries via transvaginal ultrasound, if that’s okay with you. ”
“Sure.” Julia shifts in her seat as Helena rolls a cart with a screen and some other equipment on it over to the table.
With cheerful medical efficiency, Helena extends some footrests from the base. “Feet here, please. You can lie back and get comfortable, then scoot your bottom to the edge. You can insert the wand yourself if you prefer.”
From the side of the cart, she pulls out what looks like a white dildo and rolls a condom on it, liberally covering it in lube while she waits for my mate to follow her instructions.
Frozen in place, Julia darts a look at me. “Um…”
Helena sucks in a breath. “Right. Early days. Ian, could you step out for a minute?”
“Sorry,” Julia whispers to me, looking miserable.
“No, it’s okay. I’ll be right outside.” Without thinking, I drop a kiss on her forehead. Her lids flutter as I pull back, and color rises in her cheeks. I hope I haven’t overstepped, but it seemed like she needed it.
I lean against the hallway wall outside the door while Helena performs the exam, my heart doing a weird, dull kind of thud.
I’m not worried about what the doctor is going to see when she looks at Julia’s ovaries.
I know they’re fine. I can smell it. I’m more worried what this whole thing is going to do to her heart.
She’s so tender. So vulnerable. So giving, and she barely knows me. If she’s upset that I’m left standing in the hall while she gets this private procedure, I can’t imagine how she’s going to feel when she carries our pups and then hands them off to a virtual stranger.
I know my heart will be broken when this time with her is over; that’s part of the deal. I just don’t want to break hers, too. She already has her happily-ever-after, right? I’m not trying to fuck it up. But I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to her.
I want her. I need her. I crave her. She belongs with me.
It’s just the mate bond talking, but it’s so loud, louder than any sense or reason.
“Ian?” Helena’s head pokes out. “You can come in now.”
I go straight to Julia, who’s sitting up, still pink-cheeked but a little teary now. I grab her hand and squeeze, picking up where we left off. “Are you all right?”
She nods, blinking rapidly.
“Everything looks great,” Helena chirps. “Julia has plenty of observable ripening follicles. We can do an ovarian reserve blood panel if you want, but I really don’t think it’s necessary unless you two have trouble conceiving.”
“Thank you,” I say, meaning it. Julia nods in agreement, squeezing my hand back.
“I appreciate you answering all my questions,” she adds to Helena. “You were so helpful.”
“No trouble at all. You can message my answering service if you have any more, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. I look forward to caring for you during your future pregnancy!”
After she leaves the room, Julia slides down from the table, still holding my hand.
“Are you sure you’re okay, baby?” I ask her, noticing a tear slip down her cheek. I’d kiss it away if I hadn’t already pushed my luck by calling her ‘baby.’ “Helena didn’t say anything that upset you, did she?”
She shakes her head. “Sorry I’m so emotional. She was really nice.”
“What’s bothering you, then?”
“I guess I didn’t expect to get good news. She said…this is stupid, I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much. But she said my ovaries are beautiful. What does that even mean?” She laughs through a few tears.
“Helena looks at a lot of ovaries, so she knows a beautiful one when she sees it,” I deadpan. Why am I not surprised that compliments make Julia cry?
She shakes her head. “She probably says that to everyone.”
“If your insides look anything like your outsides, they’re the prettiest ovaries in the world.”
Her disbelieving scoff is weak. “You must think I’m such a crybaby.”
I tip her trembling chin so she has to look me in the eyes. “I think you’re sweet and sensitive and compassionate. I think you’re not used to being seen or valued for the incredible person you are. I think compliments make you cry because you believe you don’t deserve them, but you do.”
“Stop it, you’re not helping,” she whispers, more tears tumbling down. But I can tell they’re not sad tears. A little tiny part of her heard the truth in my words.
There’s a box of tissues on the counter, so I swipe a few and hand them to her so she can dab her eyes with them before we leave the exam room.
When she collects herself, we head for the parking lot, still hand-in-hand.
She forgot her panties on the chair.
But I didn’t.