Chapter Twelve
Shane tossed his bag into the passenger seat and slammed the driver’s side door after he slid behind the wheel.
He didn’t like the idea of leaving Kimberly at the hotel, but she complained of being tired after their long day.
She wasn’t up for a run in her wolf skin with him, but it would have been so nice to have her with him.
It had been a long day, jumping from one meeting or errand to another.
The fatigue that accumulated from the previous evening hit him all at once when he pulled out of the hotel parking lot.
Maybe it was just a matter of time, or maybe it had to do with the creeping loneliness that slipped into the gaping hole Kimberly left behind.
Kimberly’s presence made this whole trip ten times more enjoyable.
She was by his side every step, a comforting partner and sounding board.
Her opinion helped him to decide which apartment complex his pack would move into.
She thoroughly reviewed every restaurant and cafe they visited, making him see things from a different angle.
Her perspective was invaluable, and he wished that she could have joined him for the run, not just for the nostalgia of loping alongside her as a wolf, but to hear her thoughts on the terrain around Oakfield and if it would be adequate for his pack.
In many ways, he was already treating her as his alpha female, his mate, testing if she’d be the kind of companion he needed to be the alpha he aspired to be.
So far, she passed with flying colors. He expected nothing less.
The more distance he put between himself and the hotel, the greater the tension, and the louder the urge to turn back.
All of a sudden, it seemed like every nerve in his body screamed for Kimberly.
At each stoplight on his way out of town, he fought the need to make a U-turn.
His pulse quickened, and his insides became itchy like an addict jonesing for another hit that lay just out of reach.
Shane smacked his hand on the steering wheel. He growled at the dark road ahead of him as it became nearly unbearable to travel one more mile away from Kimberly. What the hell was happening?
He remembered this feeling. It consumed him in the days and weeks that followed Kimberly’s exile from the pack.
This feeling of coming undone made him miss school, isolated in his room, taking one painful breath after another.
His father had once accused him of forming a mating bond with Kimberly, but they both knew that wasn’t true because they would have all been able to sense it.
Besides, Shane didn’t learn until much later what it took to form the mating bond.
He knew he still hadn’t done that with Kimberly, yet the similarity in this feeling was irrefutable.
What this was, Shane still didn’t know. All he knew was that after spending twenty-four straight hours with the woman, he couldn’t go for this run.
He couldn’t go without her for another minute.
He needed her like he needed air. Yet, he needed to go on this run.
He needed to explore the woods around Oakfield and make sure they were safe.
He had to choose, but it felt like an impossible choice. Kimberly or his pack.
He managed to make it to the edge of town and found an empty cop nest amongst the trees, hidden from the road.
It was just big enough for squad cars to sit and wait for speeding motorists, and it was perfect to conceal his truck.
With steely determination, Shane jumped from the truck, his movements rushed and harsh as if that would help propel him into the task at hand.
Kimberly would be at the hotel when he came back.
He only had one night to make this run for the future of his pack.
It wasn’t the first sacrifice he’d make, nor the last.
But the further he trekked through the trees, the angrier his wolf became. His progress slowed, his feet heavier with every step, legs weighted down as if he were wading through waist-deep mud.
The demand pounded in his head.
Turn back. We need her. Go back.
He growled at himself and came to a stop. Everything stacked against him and logical thought soared out the window. He couldn’t bear it, and his wolf would likely give him no peace, maybe even refuse to shift at all.
Shane finally pivoted on his heels, and took off like a shot, employing his inhuman shifter speed to carry him down the path, no longer encumbered by whatever mysterious force held him back.
He leaped back into his truck and his tires kicked up showers of dirt as they struggled for traction to get back on the road to Kimberly.
He maintained almost ten miles over the inner-city speed limit, begging for unending green lights at every intersection. He didn’t want to waste a single second outside of Kimberly’s embrace.
It was senseless. Pure need and instinct changed his plans so compellingly as if being alpha meant nothing to him anymore. If his father were in the back seat, he would have rebuked him every mile.
She’s just a woman. She doesn’t come before the pack. You are alpha. She is nobody. Worthless. A liability. She will be your downfall, nothing more than a distraction. Don’t be so weak and stupid.
Shane’s strength and sanity returned the closer he came to the hotel, and he finally felt strong enough to fight back against his father’s influences from beyond the grave.
Alone in his truck, he let out a beastly roar to overwhelm the noise in his head, to drown out Isaac’s voice. This was his life, his choice. And tonight, for better or worse, he chose Kimberly.
*
Kimberly stepped into the cool hotel room, emerging from a cloud of mist from the bathroom, her naked, damp body wrapped in a plush white towel. One upside to short hair was that it dried incredibly quickly.
She hated that she had to turn down Shane’s invitation to shift and run. She remembered how much fun they had as teens, running across open farmland and playing in patches of woods as wolves.
That sort of fun sounded perfectly cathartic, but her wolf was still pretty quiet and mostly dormant.
All the time spent with Shane was definitely improving her chances of a full recovery, but she didn’t want to take the risk and push her wolf too much just yet.
They were both empowered and a failed shift would not help her confidence.
She told herself that she would tell Shane about that extra flaw soon. She knew better than to keep another secret from him, but part of her hoped she could fix it on her own before anyone else had to find out.
Yet, she knew the moment he left the building. It was as if a piece of her became pulled thin. She acutely felt the absence of his masculine presence. It made the room feel bigger, more vacant, and her smaller and hollow.
All day, she tried to convince herself that this trip didn’t mean what Shane thought it meant.
After their talk in the diner, Kimberly fought the doubt and anxiety that this thing between them was getting too serious.
All the feelings she was catching for Shane pounded away at her shores, chipping away at the lie that this was nothing more than two friends reuniting, a brief affair with an old flame that she could douse anytime.
She couldn’t allow herself to believe this was anything more than it really was, or she was likely to make a terrible mistake in leaving Gage’s pack.
But at that moment, that pull to be with him and the aching loneliness deep in her chest all ate away at that lie.
It had once been a life raft keeping her afloat through the waves of emotions she wanted to deny since she first laid eyes on him.
Now, it was little more than a splinter that dug itself deeper and deeper into her flesh.
Every tender look, every little brush of the hand, or quick kiss hurt all the more.
The more comfortable they became with one another, the more certain she was that her heart would be obliterated when he left Tolstone.
Kimberly stood just outside the bathroom door and looked at the neatly made bed and her luggage on the floor.
It was a standard hotel room with a queen bed, two nightstands, a dresser, and a television mounted to the wall.
Somehow, it felt more like a prison with a view of the city that would become Shane’s new home … without her.
As if to chase away that hopeless thought, Kimberly sensed Shane’s return. It wasn’t in a sound, a smell, or any other tangible clue, but in a visceral sensation in her soul. He was close again, maybe somewhere in the hotel.
It spurred her into motion. Maybe she could go to him, and the numbness would go away, just for a while. She managed to slip on a loose pair of pajama pants and socks before a heavy, rapid knock rattled her door. Heedless that she was still in a towel, Kimberly rushed to answer Shane’s call.
He stood before her, hands braced against the door frame and looming in the opening with a hungry, desperate gleam in his eyes.
He smelled of tangy sweat, forest soil, and the crisp night air.
He smelled like a true and proud wolf shifter.
He smelled like an alpha, and her spirit came alive under his stare.
Despite all her stormy thoughts, she realized that she needed him.
As painful as it was, she needed him in every sense of the word.
“Tell me to go away,” Shane growled in a low, dangerous voice. “Tell me to go back to the woods, that you don’t want me here. Because that’s the only way I’ll walk away from this door.”
She couldn’t. Keenly aware of her partial nakedness, the relief upon being with him again, and the way her body responded to his scent, Kimberly only opened the door wider, welcoming him inside without a word.
Faster than a blink, Shane was in her hotel room, the door shut and bolted. In an instant, his hands were on her. He captured her against him, giving in to that desperation.