Chapter 31 - Blair
Iwas in the second trimester of my pregnancy, and things were progressing smoothly.
We went to have a scan done of the baby, making sure the baby was healthy and their vitals were stable.
Thea had assured me that the baby was healthy and no harm came to it during the attack, but I wanted to double-check.
I also secretly wanted one of the sonogram photos to frame and put on the fridge.
We were able to find out the gender if we wanted at this time, since I was past the sixteen-week mark already, but we decided we wanted it to be a surprise.
It didn’t matter if our child was a boy or a girl; we were ecstatic that they were healthy and had made it through unscathed from the hellhound.
My body was starting to go through a lot of changes, and I began to show visible signs that I was pregnant.
My stomach finally started to show and was growing exponentially.
I didn’t fit into my jeans anymore. I finally caved about buying some maternity clothes, but at this point, I was comfortable wearing his clothes in the house or lounging in my birthday suit with some underwear and maybe a bra.
I had to get some clothes that looked nice and fit for when we went out.
My morning sickness finally went away, but in its place was heartburn.
I was eating the craziest things and combinations.
Sometimes, Asmodeus had to step in before I started eating our soap or cleaning supplies, all because they smelled good.
I was constantly hungry and eating practically every hour.
Asmodeus had been making me breakfast and dinner every day.
Lunch was the only meal I made for myself.
We went grocery shopping every week, buying all kinds of snacks and healthy foods for me to eat.
A couple of my favorite foods lately have been peanut butter and pickles.
Az couldn’t understand the combination, but it was delicious.
I forced him to try one and he spit it right back out, barely even chewing it.
I snickered when I saw how disgusted he was by it.
But hey! It could have been worse, like mayo and chocolate.
One of the weird things I didn’t expect to happen with pregnancy was how it would impact my ADHD symptoms. Even though as I have progressed, my attentiveness has improved, my sensitivity to fabrics and clothes has skyrocketed.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I stopped taking my ADHD medication, although I was nearly out anyway. I hadn’t gotten a new doctor yet in Hartford and was really slacking in taking care of my ADHD symptoms. I’m surprised that Asmodeus hasn’t complained yet.
We were out in the Arizona room today, enjoying the spring weather, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. It was starting to bug me. “Why do you never complain about me? I feel like that’s such a normal thing to do with married couples.”
He looks up from the book he’s reading, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“We aren’t married, we are mates, for one.
But two, because you don’t bother me at all?
Yeah you may be inattentive, hyperactive, impulsive, anxious, and talk a bunch at times, but I understand that’s just you.
I don’t want to change you. Why do you ask? ”
“I don’t know if I ever told you or not, but I have ADHD.
I was diagnosed when I was a teenager and always had issues in school.
I barely graduated high school because of my inattentiveness and impulse control.
My whole life I was told that I needed to change, that I needed to just try harder, do better, and to shut up…
” I kind of lost my train of thought and where I was going with this.
Just remembering how people treated me, felt like I was reliving those moments, making it damn near impossible not to cry right now, especially with the crazy pregnancy hormones.
“Hmm– I think I remember you telling me om our first date actually. I knew you were neurodivergent, but it didn’t change anything for me. You’re still you. I still want you. You confirming my assumptions wouldn’t have changed anything for me.”
I start to sob now from his words. “How do I know it’s not just because I’m your mate, and that’s why you tolerate this messy version of me?
” Now I’m just flying off the handlebars with what I’m saying, but the filter is NOT working.
My brain is just dumping everything out there right now, ruining this peaceful day we were having.
He gets up and walks across the room over to where I’m sitting on one of the pieces of patio furniture.
He bends down on one knee next to me, practically sitting on the floor.
Placing his warm, large hand on my belly, he begins gentle soothing circles, calming me down.
He stares at his hand on my belly as he begins to talk.
“Do you want to know why I know it has nothing to do with you ‘being my mate’? He murmured softly.
“Yeah,” I croak, sounding snotty and pathetic. His eyes now find mine, but he never moves his hand. His eyes sparkle with many emotions, it takes my breath away.
“Even before I claimed you, you took my breath away. You were funny, sweet, and silly. I was able to be myself with you. You made me feel safe and seen. I’ve never really had that before.
You accepted me for who I was. You weren’t scared by the giant, towering, angry looking man.
Instead you saw me for who I was.” He stops for a moment, a small smile on his lips.
“A lot of people take one look at me and run in the other direction. For some reason, because of my size, they think I’m going to hurt them.
I can’t begin to explain how hurtful that is.
But here comes Blair, blowing into my life.
Instead of being scared, you were curious, kind, and I had the best time being around you.
You made me feel alive. And that matters a lot more when you have lived 250 years and will live for eternity. ”
I place my hand on top of his now, his thumb stroking my belly. Tears continue to run down my cheeks, but instead of being upset, I’m touched. “God damn tears,” my voice watery as I give him a wavering smile. “I don’t know what to say,” I whisper.
“I understand. I probably should have told you these things sooner, but I guess I got wrapped up in finding my mate, then claiming you, and then you became pregnant! I didn’t realize how much you were struggling Blair, and I’m sorry for that.
Even though I’m 250 years old, I guess I still need to work on my communication skills and open myself up more.
” He gives me a wry smile and a small laugh escapes me.
“Guess we can work on that together.”
He nods his head in agreement. “We all have faults, Blair. We all have things in life we need to work on. We all have our insecurities. I don’t complain about you because I know you’re trying your best, and in the one life we have, that’s all that matters.
It’s okay that you’re not perfect. I’m not perfect either.
I’m not going to hold that against you, nor do I expect you to be perfect.
I love you just the way you are, quirks and all.
” He leans forward to plant a kiss on my lips.
“We are definitely going to have to talk about your new eating habits though. And of course the fact that you put your cold feet on me in bed. I cannot tolerate them any longer, mate.”
It takes me a moment for my brain to catch up with what he said. I burst out laughing. “I only eat what the baby wants. You can’t blame me for that one. But I can’t help that you’re warm and my toes need the heat,” I squeak out, trying to hold in my laughter.
“Uh huh, and let me guess, they just do it on their own right?” His eyebrow raises.
“Mhm, exactly. Just like your tail, they do what they want. I can’t stop them from seeking warmth.”
He tutted at me in fake annoyance. “Such naughty toes you have then. I didn’t think it was possible for toes to have a mind of their own, but here we are. What am I going to do? Any suggestions?”
“Mmm, love them forever and keep them toasty warm, please.”
“I already do love them forever, just like I love you forever, little one. Now let’s get some food in this belly to feed the baby. I can feel them throwing a ruckus in there.” He stands up and pulls me along with him, going inside for the rest of the day.
* * *
It was finally spring, and there was no more snow in sight.
I felt a little antsy in the house from spending all my time indoors these past few months, and I was itching to go outside.
Over the next few weeks, I spent quite a bit of my time in the treehouse and its surrounding platforms and comfy chairs.
The sun was warm against my skin, and there was a cool breeze in the air that ruffled my curls.
I brought a blanket with me to wrap myself up in case I was cold outside.
I made sure to bring one of the journals or books from my mother to read and go through.
There was an overwhelming amount of information about my mother that I realized I never knew.
From what I’ve gathered, she was a very powerful clairvoyant who could not only see all supernatural creatures and beings, but could also see auras and intentions.
Another power she had was sometimes getting glimpses of the future, although that was more random and uncontrollable.
This made sense now with all the books my mother had about the supernatural world and books that looked like spell books.
I’m sure they were, or at least something similar.
If she was a clairvoyant, does that mean I am as well?
If I am, why haven’t I been able to see supernatural creatures until I met Asmodeus in Honey Buns?
Was it something that happened with age?
But 28 seemed awfully old to get your powers.
Was my dad supernatural as well? Why didn’t my mom ever talk to me about this and let me know?
As I continue reading, I realize that each journal is for a different year. A lot of the pages catalogued her life and frustrations with her mother, and the expectations that were put on her once she came into her powers.
One of the most shocking things I have found is the fact that her mother, my grandmother, had set up an arranged marriage with a warlock.
My mother was going to marry his son when she turned 25.
She didn’t want to marry him; she said he was an ass who was cruel and controlling.
Not only that, but he was also ten years older than her. At this point, she was 21 years old.
Her mother had set up the arranged marriage only for power and to create the next generation of powerful magic users.
Ewww, what a bitch. I am invested now. This was insane.
I can’t believe my grandma was going to have my mother marry someone she chose just for more power.
I’m glad I never met her before. I wonder if she even knew about me.
As I continue to read, a part sticks out to me:
My mother intends to marry me off to some cruel man, but I cannot.
I have found the love of my life and I intend to run off with him.
His name is Brian, and he is everything a woman should wish for in a man.
My mother would hate him since he is human and has no powers, but that makes him all the more special.
I know his love is true and so are his intentions.
I can see them and the way he looks at me.
He popped up into my life unexpectedly. I need to keep him and us a secret until I can find the time to run away with him.
I won’t let my mother ruin my life or even worse, hurt the man I am falling in love with.
She must be talking about my father here.
I’m shocked to find out they ran away together.
Like mother, like daughter, I suppose. I ran away to find my true love, and in the end, it seemed to work out for both of us.
I know my parents would be happy for me.
The fact that my mother ran away from her family for my father makes my heart happy.
I wish they had more time together. They deserved that after all the hell it seemed my mother was put through.