Chapter 12
ROWAN
What in the ever-loving buttered bunions is happening to me?
One second, I’m breathing fine, the next I’m ready to vault this table and tear Iris’s throat out.
I’ve never been quick to anger—sarcasm, sure, frustration, plenty—but this?
This molten heat bubbling inside me feels foreign. Possibly even dangerous.
Sure, Cade got me all worked up in the garden, but I was fine when I walked away. Well, mostly. I knew what I wanted and that was to find Liz. To figure more out about this prophecy and then make a plan for what comes next.
But now? Now my blood feels like fire ants marching under my skin. Every inhale scrapes against the back of my throat. I want answers. I want control. Hell, I want to rip everyone’s faces off, starting with Iris and her smug little riddles.
My chest burns, too hot, too restless. I close my eyes, desperate to hold it together, but the second I do—I feel her. A presence beneath my skin, pacing, prowling, pressing closer.
Wolf.
I don’t know how I know it’s her, but I do. She’s right there beneath the surface, and it almost feels as though she’s…apologizing?
Apologizing? For what?
She didn’t drag me here. She didn’t shove me into this mess of a family.
The muscles in my arms twitch with restless energy, a pulse begging for release.
“What is that?” Liz’s voice cuts through the silence I’m clinging to like a lifeline.
“She needs to shift,” Archie replies, his whiskers twitching. “Her energy’s too much to contain on her own right now. If she doesn’t bond with her wolf, she’s going to break.”
A jagged laugh rips from me, rough and humorless. “I think we’re already past that party trick.” My eyes snap open and lock on Iris. “But you’re not getting rid of me that easy. Answers first.”
“You might even be worse than your mother.” She stands in a flourish, her muumuu floating around as her hands go up in the air.
“You’re of alpha blood, Rowan. You’re not just a hybrid.
You’re the hybrid. The prophecy has made people fear you because they should.
Once you shift, once you get a taste for that power, you’re going to want more.
” She shakes her head. “No, you’re going to need more. ”
Cade’s chest rumbles from behind me, low and thunderous. “Not all alphas are power hungry bastards. Even if she’s inherited the gene from her father, that doesn’t mean she’ll rule with an iron fist.”
“You’re right,” Iris says, her face growing somber. “But she’s not just an alpha, is she? She’s like popsicles and sand.”
We’re not going to get anywhere with Iris leading the conversation. At least not to where I want. I turn toward Liz. “Where’s the book you were talking about?”
She pulls it from beneath the table as if she’s been holding it tight this whole time and flips the pages with deliberate fingers until she stops midway through.
Her shoulders square, her voice shifting into something that carries weight.
It’s like her words settle into the room, a spell meant just for me, entrancing me until I’m focused on nothing else.
When sun meets shadow, and blood runs deep,
One shall rise from woven sleep.
Born of Hollowborn and beast of night,
She bears the mark of eternal might.
Neither moon nor magic shall end her breath,
No fang, no flame, no spell, nor death.
A bridge between the world and war,
Her fate will open every door.
With light, the world may mend,
By darkness, all kingdoms bend.
Should her heart be torn in two,
The sky shall split, and time unglue.
One will have their peace. Others flame.
But either way, she’ll know no name.
For cursed and burdened she’ll ever be,
Until she chooses what to be.
Cursed and burdened? That’s cute. Makes me real glad I’m here.
The words should crush me, but instead they carve their way inside, sending shudders along my spine as the prophecy bleeds into me like it belongs there.
My skin prickles, my chest burns, and for a terrifying second I swear something inside me tries to claw free. Something more than my inner animal.
No wonder people have feared my arrival. These words are heavy—final, inescapable—but instead of making me want to run, they root me deeper. It’s chaos in my veins, fire in my blood, but it feels right.
Mom tried to protect me from this. I know that with certainty. And yet, even with the storm tearing through me, I know this is where I’m supposed to be. Whether I burn the world that forced her to hide me or find a way to stand in it, this is my life now.
Because, like the prophecy says, I get to choose.
My gaze flicks back and nearly collides with Cade.
He’s closer than I realized, close enough that I have to crane my neck to meet his face.
His jaw is iron, eyes locked on Iris like he’ll tear her apart if she so much as twitches wrong.
But when I reach out—just a brush of my fingers against his hand—he softens.
His shoulders drop, the fury in his gaze quiets, and then he looks at me.
Damn. That stare. It pins me upright, stealing my breath and leaving me raw in a way I’m not ready to face.
“Are you okay, Rowan?” he asks, and I realize I’m just staring at him.
For a heartbeat, I forget how to talk. My lips move, but nothing comes out until the pressure inside me cracks wide open. “I want to shift,” I whisper, then louder, firmer, “How soon can we do that?”
He glances toward the covered window, but it’s as though he sees straight through the curtain. “The moon will be in the sky within the hour,” he says. “We’ll go then.”
The growl beneath his words tugs at something inside me, urging me to yield, to lean into him and give in to the connection we share, but I shove it down. I’m just not ready yet. At least not mentally.
I turn back to Iris, because my fury hasn’t burned itself out yet, not by a long shot.
“I won’t tolerate your games,” I bite out, my emotions officially in the whiplash stage the book talked about.
“You were right before. I’m worse than my mother, but not in the way you think.
She left to protect me. I’m staying to do the same.
Whether that works out well for you…” I let the words hang, sharp and final, before I push to my feet. “That’s to be determined.”
Before she can respond, I’m out of my chair and headed for my room. Archie’s claws dig into my shoulder as he clings to my shirt when I round the corner into the hallway.
Silently, I place a hand on his back and make my way to my room. Behind me, I can hear heavy footsteps, likely from Cade, but I don’t dare look.
I need this hour to get control of myself. At least that’s what the stupid book said. If I’m going to attempt to make this first transition somewhat tolerable, I have to be more stable. This up and down garbage isn’t going to cut it.
But right now? I’m not sure that’s possible.
Archie tightens his grip when I push my door shut behind us, his little claws still pricking through the fabric of my shirt. For once, the sting is welcome. It anchors me, pulls me back from the edge I’ve been dangling over since I walked back into NightShade after talking to Cade.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, sliding a hand over his warm fur. He smells faintly musky, sharp and earthy, and the familiarity of it settles the emotions swirling inside me.
He makes a low, chuffing sound, somewhere between a purr and a growl. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“You nearly fell to the floor,” I remind him. “If anything happens to you now, I’m not sure I’d survive.”
His whiskers twitch against my cheek as I lie on my bed. “You would survive even if you hurt like hell, but more importantly, that’s nothing you have to worry about. I’ve already lived over five decades… I still have at least a few more in me.”
My shock sends me sitting up too quickly, and this time he does slip off my shoulder, landing on the soft mattress. “How long do you live?”
I know he mentioned being alive before I was born, but I was shocked about him knowing my mom before that I didn’t consider questioning his lifespan.
“If nothing more than old age gets me, it could be upward of two centuries,” he says, and the relief I feel at knowing we still have so much time together is the exact thing I needed to get myself in check.
My best friend isn’t going anywhere soon.
Though, I should maybe reconsider my life choices knowing that a fifty-something-year-old talking ferret is my only friend.
I drop back onto the mattress beside him, pressing my forehead against his side.
His fur is soft, his little heartbeat steady against my skin.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I whisper.
“I feel like I’m burning from the inside out.
And my wolf—she’s right there, under the surface—but I don’t know what to do with her. ”
Archie’s small paw rests on my nose. “You don’t have to know.
Instinct will take over. You just have to trust yourself and the beast inside you.
The rest will come naturally, even if it feels anything but.
” He pauses, then adds, “You’ll also need to believe in Cade, too.
He may not accept his role in the wolf pack, but what he’s about to walk you through is what he was born to do. ”
I want to ask more about the process, but after what I’ve read, I think it’s best if I find out the hard way. Otherwise, I might run for the hills for real this time. Some things are better left unknown until they smack you in the face.
I glance at him, my throat aching at the way his beady little eyes meet mine with something like fierce loyalty. “You’re my favorite, you know that?”
“Obviously.” He titters with ferret laughter. “I’m handsome, portable, and smarter than all the people you’ve met in this house. Plus, I could eat each of them for a snack.”
A real smile surfaces on my face, easing the tightness in my chest, and the storm inside me finally feels settled.
I stay with him, enjoying his company and light conversation for a while, but eventually, I push off the bed and wander to the window.
Tugging back the curtain, I press my palm to the cool glass.
Outside, the forest is already drowning in shadows, the tree branches sharp against a sky that’s bleeding into night.
Beyond that, the moon is rising. Waiting for me.
My reflection stares back, pale and uncertain, fractured by the last streaks of fading light. I wonder once again who I’ll be once this is done.
The girl who burned everything down? Or the one who found a way to belong?
I don’t know. But with Archie’s unwavering support and the restless wolf inside me, one thing is certain…
Whatever I become, it won’t be what they expect.