Chapter 30 #2
Forcing myself to at least sit up, I ignore my nakedness and watch as his wolf barrels through two opponents before he turns toward me and shifts mid-motion, landing in his human form in a spray of dirt.
His chest heaves as he strides forward. He grabs my arm, gentle but firm, yanking me upright.
His eyes burn into mine, wild and desperate.
“Stay with me, Rowan. Whatever this is—don’t give in. You hear me? Don’t do it.”
Does he know what I have planned? Does he know what’s inside of me? Is he the one who hid the body?
I could ask, but we don’t have time. Instead, I nod, but I don’t think he sees me as he yanks his shirt off and covers me, deep growls escaping from him.
At least I was right about one thing.
Archie, Liz, and Elias are right in front of us, but they can’t keep the enemies away for long. Only that’s the least of my problems when Cade tries to touch me again.
Fire licks at my skin once more, and any prior weakness leaves me. This should be good, it’s what I wanted, but my panic only rises more, drawing more energy to the surface that seems nearly desperate to attack Cade.
He snarls and pulls his hand back, but doesn’t step away. “Rowan?”
“You need to get away from me,” I plead, moving to walk around him. “I don’t know what this is, and I don’t want to hurt you, but it’s coming out whether I want it to or not.”
My throat closes as I look away from him. I can’t even meet his stare. Not when my legs shake, and my arms feel like lead. Not when enemies keep pouring in like the trees themselves are spitting them out.
We aren’t going to survive without whatever is inside me.
I have to give in.
“I mean it, Cade,” I snap at him, my body vibrating like a bomb. “Get everyone out of here.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“And I’m not asking again.” My voice deepens, and I swear there’s steam rising from my skin. “GO!”
I should turn around and make sure he’s listened, I should wait ten more seconds to give my family the chance to run, but I can’t.
All I can do is hope that whatever this is, it knows me, knows my heart, and that they’ll be safe because right now, they’re as good as dead anyway.
There are more cloaked figures, more silver-eyed wolves.
They crash into us like a wall of teeth and fists.
Liz staggers, her final blade knocked from her hand.
Archie yelps as three cloaked men swarm him at once.
Iris slams a handful of powder in a vamp’s face but gets shoved back hard, her fanny pack scattering supplies across the dirt.
And Cade, he didn’t even make it ten steps from me. There are five on him at once, and even with his alpha strength, he can’t hold them all.
Do it, Wolf encourages. We’ll deal with the aftermath later. They need us. Our mate needs us.
Helplessness claws through me, raw and merciless. The hum inside me swells, louder and hotter, until it’s not a vibration anymore but a roar. The power shoves through me, tearing past every fragile barrier I’ve tried to hold in place since sensing it.
It’s time to find out who I really am.
Even if I don’t like the answer.
The instant I let go, fire swallows me whole.
It detonates outward in a violent rush—energy ripping from my body, screaming through the yard in a wave that blasts everything in its path. Enemies go flying like broken toys, slamming into trees, skidding across the ground, crumpling in heaps. The air is a storm of mist and screams.
But it doesn’t stop there.
The blast doesn’t spare them.
Liz drops, her body limp on the ground, motionless. Archie’s bulky form slams into the dirt and then, with a small, shuddering twitch, he shrinks back down, his fur matted, chest heaving. Iris lies on her side, needles and glitter and bandages scattered like confetti, her chest unmoving.
For an earth-shattering second, I think Cade got free, but one full turn, and that hope dies.
He’s there on his side, face half-buried in the blood-dark grass. I think I see his chest rise, the tiniest sliver of life, but I can’t tell if it’s real or if my terror is tricking me.
What have I done?
Silence falls in the wake of the blast, broken only by a groan and the crackle of settling debris.
My chest heaves. My hands shake. The air around me thrums with the last echoes of whatever the hell I just unleashed.
And all I can keep thinking is—
What have I done?
I wait for Wolf to tell me it’s not as bad as it looks. That the bodies of not only our enemies, but my family, all lying much too still, can’t be real. But she’s not there.
There’s only absence. Like the entirety of her presence has been ripped out of me.
That knowledge should gut me. I’m desperate for the true grief of this moment, because even if I can sense my family beginning to stir, even if they’ve survived this…
I’ve ruined everything.
I know this just as I know the sky is blue.
Yet, I’m paralyzed, nailed in place, feeling the world tilt away from me.
I stay there, staring at nothing and everything all at once.
There’s a rustle of movement, more heartbeats, proof of life, but I can’t.
I can’t look deeper because if it’s not those I care about, I’d rather die right where I stand.
Seconds tick by, and a shadow falls over me. I tense, but the presence isn’t familiar. A hand gently settles on my shoulder, making my skin tingle as I look up into dark, silver-rimmed eyes, barely peeking out beneath a charcoal hood.
“Hello, Rowan.” His voice is like silk and winter collided. “How would you like to never feel this suffering again?”
I should get up and break the hold he has on me, but a trickle of energy pulses through me, leaving me even weaker and susceptible. More than that, I willingly sink into the reprieve.
For one stretching moment, everything collapses. I feel every memory from the last couple of weeks—Cade’s mouth, Archie’s steadfastness, Iris and her muumuus, Liz’s dedication. Each one stacked beside the image of their bodies on the dirt that will forever be etched into my mind.
None of it hurts yet. Not in the way I know is coming. Worse, I know what will happen if this pain is set free again. The heat will consume me. I’ll lose myself and, if I haven’t already, I’ll burn them alongside me.
Cade. Iris. Liz. Archie. Elias.
Everyone.
I hurt them.
And I’ll do it again.
I thought I could control this…power, but I can’t.
Yes, you can.
The words come from a distant voice. It might be Wolf, but the flicker of hope is snuffed out. I try to sort through the confusion, but my mind is a mess I can’t navigate.
“Come with me, my dear,” the cloaked man says, one arm extended as if offering a courtesy. “I’ll show you how to live as you were always meant to, and you’ll never know hurt again.”
His words are honey over a blade. They pull, soft and sure. I want to fight them. This is wrong, but I can’t.
All I can do is check on my family once more. I take a sigh of relief that I can feel more confident based on the heartbeats that I haven’t killed them. Not like some of the others.
They’ll survive this. I know that now.
But I won’t. Not with the darkness building in me.
Even if it might be wrong, I can’t stop my next decision. It’s the only one that my mind is making sense of. I know what I have to do, even if it means losing everything I’ve been fighting to keep.
I take the stranger’s hand.