Chapter Twenty-Nine #2
The air felt brittle while Rachel opened and closed her mouth, glancing at me before blurting, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to spill if you wanted it to be between us.”
I shook my head, staring at the pattern on the rug. “It’s fine. I guess everyone’ll know if we split, anyway. And it’s looking like that’s the direction things are headed right now.”
Jackson leaned forward, elbows on knees. “Do you really think you’ll leave him?” His eyes flicked to Rachel, then back to me. “I know Nate would love a chance. He talks about you all the time.”
I let my shoulders rise and fall. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. My head’s just… full of everything. This isn’t even about Vegas anymore. Well, kind of. I didn’t even tell him I knew until yesterday. But now it’s all just blown up.”
Rachel cut in, eyes flashing. “She’s pregnant. The woman from the hotel. The one he stayed with.”
Jackson’s eyes went wide. I wondered if Rachel had already told him about my infertility stuff. I didn’t really mind; Rachel didn’t open up to anyone besides me, so if Jackson was her person now, I was fine with that.
“I told him everything,” Rachel said, voice softer. “I hope that’s okay.”
“Yeah,” I answered, then turned so Jackson could see I meant it. “We did have an open marriage, technically. But Cam staying over with her—and getting her pregnant—that wasn’t supposed to be part of it.”
Jackson gave an awkward little snort. “Nate said he was an asshole, but I figured he was just jealous. He wants you for himself.”
I shook my head, more out of habit than anything. “He’s not terrible. Not really.”
Rachel’s voice jumped, sharp as broken glass. “Girl! Don’t tell me you’re still defending him after all this.”
“What he did? It’s awful, yeah. But I genuinely don’t think he got her pregnant on purpose.”
“Doesn’t he know how to wrap it up?” Rachel asked, exasperated.
“He said it broke.” I stared at my hands. “I believe him. But now there’s this mess. I don’t know how I’m supposed to raise a baby whose mother knows my husband so well. Surrogacy was one thing… but this, this is different.”
“Of course it is,” Rachel said, pulling herself forward in her chair as if she could will the world to make sense. “Most women couldn’t do it. Especially since you never actually wanted the open marriage in the first place. This is all on Cam.”
“It’s my fault, too,” I admitted softly. “I never should have agreed in the first place. I knew what could happen. I just didn’t think he’d actually hurt me like this.”
Rachel’s eyes were gentle, fierce. “You also never thought he’d ask to sleep with other women.”
I glanced at her, a tiny nod, and tried not to let my voice crack. Cam wasn’t the man I thought he was—not really—but it didn’t mean I loved him any less.
I forced a brittle smile. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here for a while? Just until I figure things out?”
Rachel nudged my knee with hers, eyebrow raised. “Girl, you know you’re always welcome here. No time limit.”
I couldn’t quite look at her. “I don’t want to get in the way.” I risked glancing at Jackson.
Jackson just shrugged, palms up. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine sharing the apartment, especially as I’ve just moved in. Plus, Nate would absolutely kill me if you left just because of us. He’ll be thrilled you’re not living with Cam right now.”
I let the words sink in, my body suddenly heavy. “But I haven’t really left him—I’m just… separated, for now. I still love him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to let go, even after this. And Cam was really clear: open marriage is off. He told me before I left.”
Rachel scoffed, tossing her hands. “He doesn’t get to decide that, Livi. Not after what he did. If you want to see Nate, you have every right. Honestly, he’s so much better for you.”
Jackson was studying us, quiet. I wondered what he thought about the idea of me with Nate. He probably thought Nate deserved someone better—not a married woman who couldn’t hold her relationship together.
Just then, my phone started vibrating on the cushion next to me. Cam’s name flashed on the screen.
Rachel raised her eyebrows. “Speak of the Devil. Are you gonna answer?”
I stared at the phone, half-expecting it to combust in my hand. So much for giving me space.
“No,” I said, voice low. “I’m just going to go lie down. If that’s okay?”
“Of course,” Rachel said, her tone softening. “We’ll call you for dinner.”
“Thanks.” I let the phone ring until it stopped, then slipped away to the guest room and crawled into bed, the sheets cold and unfamiliar. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself anymore.
A few minutes later, the phone gave a small ping; a text from Cam.
I know I said I’d give you some space, but I miss you so much already, baby. Please come home and we can try to work it out. Please give me one last chance.
I stared at the screen, thumbs numb. Half of me wanted to run back to him, pretend this was all some bad dream.
In my head, I saw myself in his arms, the promises of forever, the way he’d hold tight and swear up and down that he’d never even look at another woman.
That the baby was just an accident and all this pain could somehow be undone.
But that was just a fantasy.
There was a baby on the way. Whether I liked it or not. And if I was honest, Cam wanted that baby—even if it wasn’t mine. Even if the whole thing was built on a lie.
The phone rang again. I picked up this time.
“Baby?” Cam’s voice was low, velvety. “You there?”
I swallowed. “I’m here.”
“I miss you so much.”
“It’s only been one night.”
“One night too many. The bed felt so cold.”
“I guess you’ll have to get used to it.”
Silence. I let it hang, the words heavy and mean.
“Or maybe—you can warm it with her,” I said, sharper than I meant to. But after everything he’d done, didn’t I deserve to be angry?
“I don’t want her, baby. I only want you. I swear it.”
“It’s funny you say that, since I wasn’t enough for you just months ago.”
“I was lost. I see now how stupid I was. You’re all I need. Maybe I had an early midlife crisis, I don’t know. But I see things more clearly now. What we have—it’s all I want.”
“But now there’s someone else. Two someone elses.”
“She won’t be involved. I’ll have her sign away all her rights.”
“And she’s really agreed to that?”
“She will.”
My laugh came out brittle. “You’re dreaming, Cam. She’s going to hang onto that baby as long as it gets her what she wants. Which is you. Maybe that’s for the best. I don’t even think I can stay with you. And that baby deserves its parents, not constant secrets.”
His voice cracked. “Don’t say that, baby. You’re not leaving me. We’re too strong for this—even stronger together. We can get through this, I promise.”
“I don’t want to try right now. It hurts too much.”
His voice turned hard, steel behind the velvet.
“No. You’re not giving up on us. You take your time, and I’ll give you space, but this isn’t over.
I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to.
You’ll be smothered by how much I love you, baby.
I promise. Just take the time and come back to me—the new me. ”
He hesitated, voice low. “Just… don’t see that guy anymore. Please. The thought of someone else touching you makes me crazy.”
I almost laughed. “And you thought I was okay picturing you with another woman?”
“I told you—I was stupid. But I’m done with that now. We need to focus on us. It won’t work if you’re still seeing him. Please. Tell me you’ll stop.”
“I can’t promise that. He’s been good to me. Better than you, lately. I won’t give him up for something I’m not even sure about anymore.”
Cam let out a long, ragged breath. “I guess I deserve that.”
“You do.”
“I love you, baby. Please come back to me.”
“Not now.”
“That’s okay. Not now doesn’t mean never.”
“Bye, Cam.”
“Bye, Livi.”
∞∞∞
When morning came, I mustered just enough energy to drag myself into work. I’d hardly slept, my thoughts flicking through every bad scenario like a shuffled deck of cards.
Nate was behind the counter, humming a tune under his breath and shining the glass carafe when I walked in.
“Morning!” he called, too cheerful for the hour. “Beautiful day out there.”
I grunted, barely a word, and brushed past him toward the coffee machine.
He followed, leaning in the doorway. “Rachel doesn’t have coffee at her place?”
I poured the beans into the grinder on autopilot, only to realize what he’d said a moment later. I paused.
“How did you know I was staying at Rachel’s?”
Nate hesitated, shifting his weight. “Jackson told me. Sorry if you didn’t want me to know. We talk, I guess.”
I filled the carafe, mulling that over. It wasn’t like I was planning to hide it from Nate, but it was strange imagining them talking about me when I wasn’t there.
“What else did Jackson say?” I asked, not looking up.
Nate shrugged, propping himself against the counter. “Just that you’re going to be staying for a while.”
I raised an eyebrow, waiting.
He gave a crooked grin. “And that you’d left Cam.” He coughed. “Finally.”
I let the steam from the coffee rise and waited for the energy to hit me before answering. “I don’t know if it’s permanent.”
Nate’s face went quiet, his eyes darker. “Livi, he got another woman pregnant. Why would you even think about staying with someone like that?”
My head jerked up. “So Jackson told you everything.”
He winced, guilty. “Sorry. Wasn’t supposed to be a secret, I thought. But Livi… you deserve more than this. You should have someone who always puts you first.”
I sipped my coffee, the heat waking me up even as I tried not to say the wrong thing. “Are you suggesting you’re that guy?” I let it out as a joke, a half-smile on my lips, but the way Nate looked at me I realized he was completely serious.
“I am,” he said, voice steady. “I know I could be. I’d love to show you how you should be treated. Just give me one chance and I’ll make you forget all about Cam.”