Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cam knelt beside me as I retched, his steady palms gathering my hair away from my face.
He waited, silent as old stone, until the final wave passed.
My legs trembled as I stood, and I reached for the toothbrush, letting the tears slip down my cheeks.
I didn’t look in the mirror; I didn’t want to see the ruin there.
He stood behind me, eyes troubled. “I’m sorry this hurts you, baby. You have to believe me—it was an accident. I’m just trying to make the best out of a bad situation.”
I rinsed my mouth, braced myself, and met Cam’s gaze in the mirror. “Is it Lacey’s?”
His face went colorless; lips pressed to a hard line.
“What?” I pressed. “You really thought I’d never find out? That I’d just wait at home while you waltzed in with your bundle of joy and I’d never question it? Keep me in the dark, right?”
He hesitated. “How did you know? Did she say something?”
“She didn’t have to,” I bit out. I clung to my anger, desperate for anything besides despair. “Rachel told me. She saw you in Las Vegas. Saw Lacey go up to your hotel room, saw her with you all weekend.”
Cam looked away, Adam’s apple bobbing. The silence stretched so long it started to ache.
“Why?” My voice was raw, my insides hollow. “After everything I did for you, everything I agreed to, you still betrayed me.”
“I made a mistake,” he said gently. “I never meant to break the rules. She… she was relentless. The first time, I was weak. And then once it was done, it got so much easier to do again. She came with me for business, that’s all, but then it turned into… more.”
I stared at the sink, knuckles white. “Do you love her?” The words wobbled as they left me.
He took my arms in his hands, voice low and urgent. “Never. I’ve never loved anyone but you. It was just sex, baby. She was there, and I was… stupid.” He swallowed hard. “But I don’t regret the child. Not ever.”
I stepped away, my heart splitting down the center. Of course he didn’t regret the child—that baby was everything Cam wanted. Still, the way he said it stung down to the bone.
I went to the closet and pulled out a suitcase, tossing it onto the bed. The zipper rattled as I yanked it open.
“What are you doing?” he asked, close behind me. His voice was tin-edged, desperate, but I didn’t care. I was too hurt to look back.
“What does it look like? I’m not sticking around while you play perfect family with the woman you cheated with.”
“I didn’t cheat, baby, it wasn’t like that.”
I spun on him, incredulous. “It wasn’t cheating?! We made rules: only Thursdays, and never Lacey! You broke it all.” My voice was rising, vibrating the air. “You just did whatever you wanted and didn’t care how it hurt me. And now she’s pregnant. With your baby.”
In my rage, I started grabbing clothes and stuffing them blindly into the suitcase. Cam snatched it away, dumped the armfuls out on the floor, and shoved the bag back into the closet.
I stood there, body rigid, waiting. Daring him to explain.
“You’re not throwing our marriage away over this, Livi. I screwed up, I know. I broke your trust and I regret it. But we can get through this. We can be parents, just like we always dreamed.”
“I’m not raising a baby that came from your betrayal. I can’t do that, Cam. And you shouldn’t ask me.”
“And you can’t ask me to pick between you and my child.”
I shook my head, the fight draining from my limbs.
“I’m not,” I said, voice tiny. “I would never do that.”
He wouldn’t let it go. “You can’t leave. I need you. Lacey was a mistake—a bad one, but something good came of it. An innocent baby. Don’t leave me because of this.”
“You’re right—the baby shouldn’t pay for your choices. But that child deserves two parents that love it completely. I’ll never get past looking at it and seeing you with her. I’d start to resent it, Cam. You know I would.”
I went back to the closet, grabbed the suitcase again, this time opening it on the floor.
He trailed after me, voice pleading. “Baby, please. We can work through this. She was nothing.”
I started hurling clothes into the case, barely even looking at what I grabbed.
“Nothing?” My laugh was sharp and ugly. “Every time you slept with her—or anyone else—you chipped away at me. A piece of my love died with every reminder.” I dragged a zip-up out of the drawer and flung it in. “But for you, it was just sex, right?”
He groaned in frustration. “We can get past this if you’ll just stop being so emotional.”
I whirled to face him, my own anger snapping its teeth.
“Too emotional? You knew what I was when you asked for this. You knew how much I loved you, how much it would break me. But you still wanted it.” My breath hitched.
“So I tried to be strong. Every Thursday, I swallowed it down. Until I couldn’t anymore. Until I started seeing someone else.”
Cam went still, his eyes narrowing. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been seeing Nate. But unlike you, I stuck to the rules. Only Thursday nights.”
His jaw clenched hard enough to splinter bone. I hadn’t meant to tell him, but I wanted him to hurt, even a fraction of what I did.
“You slept with him?” The words were flat as death.
I only nodded.
He glared at the carpet, breathing so hard he shook. “Do you love him?”
The question caught me off guard. Did I love Nate? Of course not like I loved Cam.
“I care about him,” I said after a long moment. “I wouldn’t have slept with him if I didn’t.”
He looked so stricken I nearly lost my resolve. I edged past him, dragging the suitcase, while he stared holes in the floor.
By the time he blocked the closet door, I’d packed half my things.
His voice shook. “I know I shouldn’t be angry. I did this. But I am. I want to kill him.”
“It’s not his fault. He was there for me when I needed someone. He helped me get through all of this. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”
A single tear tracked down Cam’s cheek. Seeing him cry almost unmanned me. For a moment, I wanted to hold him, wipe it away and say we’d survive this. But I couldn’t.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered, shattered.
I zipped the bag the rest of the way. “I need space, Cam. I need to figure out what I want to do next.”
“We can work this out. I’ll stop seeing anyone else. I never should have started, but I thought it would fix things. I was wrong.”
My own tears stung. “It’s too late now. There’s a baby coming, and you can’t just walk away from that. I won’t ask you to. I just know I can’t raise a child that’s proof you lied to me. As much as I love you, you broke us.”
He sobbed once, then bit it back. I eased past him, suitcase trailing.
His hand caught my arm, gentle but desperate.
“I’m begging you, Livi. I’ll do anything. Go through my phone, track my location, whatever you need. I know I’ve lost your trust, but I’ll get it back. Please don’t go.”
The heat of his hand on my skin nearly undid me. Even now, I ached to turn and curl into his arms. But I couldn’t.
“I can’t, Cam. Not right now. I need time.”
He dragged his hands through his hair, wild and beautiful and so heartbreakingly mine. At least, he used to be.
“God, I messed up so bad. I didn’t see it until now. The thought of losing you is killing me. Don’t make any final decisions tonight. Give it a day or two. You don’t even have to leave—I’ll go, get a hotel, whatever you want.”
I shook my head. “I can’t stay here. Not tonight. I need distance. Away from the memories.”
He followed me down the stairs, eying the half-empty wine bottle on the counter.
“You can’t drive, baby. Not after drinking. Let me give you a ride, at least.”
He was right, though the thought of sitting in a car with him was unbearable. His nearness was dangerous; it made me want to give in. I needed space, not more closeness.
“I’ll call an Uber,” I said flatly.
He sounded wrecked. “Don’t go running to him, please. Not just because I ruined everything.”
I hadn’t even decided where I was going.
“I’m not. I’m going to Rachel’s. At least for tonight.”
He closed his eyes, jaw clamped tight. “Arrangements are off, Livi. No more other people. Not for me, not for you.”
I thumbed a message to Rachel, asking for a ride. “You’re hardly in a position to give ultimatums, Cam. You’re the one who broke our marriage, not me.”
“We can’t fix things if you’re with another man.”
“You didn’t care about that when you asked for this,” I spat.
“Look, I’m not saying I’ll keep seeing Nate, but I’m not going to stop talking to him either.
He’s my friend, and I need that. I’m not sure what the future looks like, but I need to figure it out for myself.
And you need to do the same. Your life is about to change more than mine. ”
We stared at each other, two ruined people in the hallway, neither able to find a way forward.
I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. I turned, suitcase in hand, and walked out, step by stubborn step, until the door shut softly behind me.
∞∞∞
“That low down, rotten pig!” Rachel’s voice rang out in the living room as she slammed her mug onto the coffee table with a force that made me flinch.
I half-expected it to shatter across the tabletop, but it held.
I tried to burrow deeper into the corner of her couch, wishing I could disappear into the folds of the worn throw blanket.
I’d just finished telling her everything Cam had confessed, practically pleading with her to let me stay here until I could figure out my next steps.
“Who’s a rotten pig?” Jackson’s voice floated in from the door as he locked it behind him and slung his backpack onto the hook by the entrance.
Rachel twisted around in the armchair, her smile stretched thin. “Hey, honey! We were just talking about Livi’s cheating pissant of a husband.”
Jackson let his head tilt, studying us, and then crossed to the other end of the couch. “I thought you’d forgiven him for that already. Since you stayed. Did he go and do it again?”