Chapter 22
Dean
It felt like I hadn’t seen or spoken to Addison in a week when in reality it had only been one day.
I also couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that gnawed at me from the inside out.
She would be here any minute, and I was going to lay it all out.
No more withholding the whole truth from her.
She deserved that much from me, and I felt like such an asshole that I withheld it from her in the first place. I knew I’d made a mistake.
I was putting the finishing touches on the dinner I’d prepared for us when Coal’s head popped up at the sound of a car door closing.
Several moments later, Addison knocked on the door as she opened it.
“Hey, I’m here,” she announced. Coal quickly got to his feet and trotted toward the front door to greet her, his tail wagging furiously as he took off.
“In the kitchen!” I shouted across the house to her as I put the chicken stir-fry into the oven to keep it warm until after our conversation.
After closing the oven door, I turned around to see her, and our eyes locked immediately.
She looked tired, defeated, sad, even, but beautiful nonetheless.
She was wearing an oversized sweatshirt with leggings, and her long hair was pulled into a loose braid that hung over her shoulder.
I quickly made my way around the island and wrapped my arms around her, bringing her into my chest.
“Hey, baby,” I whispered against her hair.
I took a deep breath, inhaling her sweet citrusy scent.
As my body relaxed at having her in my arms again, I noticed that hers didn’t.
She didn’t melt into my body the way she usually did.
She felt stiff, tense. I released her and stood back, holding her at arm’s length and searching her green eyes. “You okay?”
She quickly nodded and moved out of my arms toward the table. “So, what did you make us?”
I sighed. Something was definitely off, but I wasn’t going to press the issue just yet.
“Just chicken stir-fry, nothing crazy.” I poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her.
“I figured we should talk first though.” She took the glass from me, immediately taking a long drink before nodding in agreement.
We settled into our seats at the table and sat in an unusual, uncomfortable silence. I took a sip of wine and decided that now was as good a time as any to start this conversation. “So, like I mentioned in my text yesterday, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Addison’s eyes drifted upward from her wineglass, locking on mine. “Okay, tell me.”
I took a deep breath to settle my nerves.
“As I said before, I’m sorry for not telling you about Noah when I made the connection.
But there’s more to the story than just that.
You and I have actually spoken on the phone before.
” I paused to gauge her reaction, but oddly enough, there was none.
Without thinking too much about it, I continued, “Noah begged me to act like I was his friend on the phone with you and that we had some guys’ trip planned.
I didn’t find out until after that he was actually meeting up with another girl.
I didn’t know anything about your relationship.
I just went along with it because at the end of the day, he’s family and he sounded desperate.
Given his track record, I shouldn’t have trusted his intentions when he asked me to help him.
It was really fucked up for me to keep this from you, I know that. ”
I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. She looked at our hands but not back up at me.
“Addison, I’m so sorry. I’m an asshole for what I did, and I’m an even bigger asshole for not telling you the minute I knew that your ex-fiancé was my cousin.”
She remained quiet. It unnerved me that she showed no reaction to what I had just unloaded on her.
“Addison, please look at me.” She released my hand and sat back in her chair, dropping her hands into her lap, finally bringing herself to look at me.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me? Is that everything?” she asked in nearly a whisper.
I tilted my head, confused. “That’s it. I wanted to lay it all out, and I wanted you to hear it from me and not Noah. That was what he was alluding to the other day at your farm.”
“I already know that it was you on the phone with Noah,” she admitted.
Now I was confused. “What? How?”
“Noah. I met him last night for dinner to hear him out. He told me that you were the friend on the phone. But he also told me something else.” She glanced back down at her lap. “I saw the texts between you two.”
Okay, now I was really confused. What the fuck was she talking about? “What texts?” I asked, trying to keep my tone calm.
“The texts where you said that you were only here for six more months to get a year of running a practice under your belt so you could go back and be the lead doctor for the polo fields. You also said that you were talking to Margot again and realized you’re still in love with her.
” She looked back up at me, her green eyes watery, tears threatening to fall.
“Addison, I don’t know what you saw, but none of that is true.
Noah and I don’t talk. We aren’t close. I took over this practice because it was where I wanted to be, not in California, and that was before I even met you when I made that decision.
I haven’t seen or spoken to Margot in years.
You know I would never be with her again after what she did to me.
” I heard the desperation in my own voice as panic coursed through my veins.
The tears began to fall down her pretty face. I fisted my hands to stop myself from reaching out to brush them away and pull her into my lap. I knew right now that was not what she wanted from me.
“Dean, I saw the messages. It was your name and your number. I checked it to be sure.” She used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe away the tears.
Frustrated, desperate, and confused as hell, I ran my hands through my hair and pulled. “I don’t know how the fucker did it, but he created that shit and he’s lying. Can’t you see, Addison? He wants you back and will do whatever it takes to destroy this relationship. You have to believe me.”
She stood up from the table and started pacing the kitchen.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. This is all too much.
I’m tired of being made a fool of. I’m tired of getting my heart broken, Dean.
” Addison braced her hands on my kitchen island and stared at me, hurt and defeat written all over her face.
It tore me up to see her like this, but honestly I was hurt too. She went and saw Noah over me last night. She made the conscious decision to hear him out before me, and that was a blow. I felt like my chest had cracked wide open.
I stood up and positioned myself across the island from her. “Can I ask you a question?”
She tilted her head, confused as to where I was going with this. “What? Yeah, sure.”
“I told you yesterday that there were things I needed to tell you, so why did you decide to go hear Noah out first?”
A look of guilt flashed across Addison’s face, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. Replaced by a stone look, her shoulders squared and her chin up in defense. “I didn’t choose him over you. I made plans with him before you texted me.”
“Okay, that may be so, but when I texted you saying I needed to tell you something, you still chose to go meet him instead of me. You could have seen me last night and him tonight, correct?” I felt the anger and betrayal begin to bubble to the surface as I saw her actions clearly for what they were.
Before she could answer my question, I continued, “You wanted to see what Noah had to tell you about me first, didn’t you?
Try to catch me in more lies. You weren’t going to take my word for it.
You wanted his first, then mine, to compare notes.
” I shook my head. “You don’t trust me, do you? ”
Addison scoffed. “That’s not true. I was with him for eight years, Dean. He was a big part of my life once upon a time, and if I want to meet him to have a conversation, I’m allowed to do that.”
“You didn’t answer my question.” I crossed my arms over my chest. Now I was pissed.
Addison looked down at the counter. “I don’t know that I can answer that right now,” she said quietly, and those words broke my heart.
“I didn’t tell you about the Noah bullshit, because it seemed irrelevant to our relationship.
He has nothing to do with us. I didn’t want to tell you about the stupid phone call either, because I didn’t want you to view me differently.
People always have these preconceived notions about who I am.
I made a mistake by not telling you, and I own that.
Tonight, I was trying to right my wrongs, but you didn’t even give me the chance to.
” There was only a countertop between us, but it felt like we were an ocean apart.
Addison was quiet for a few moments. “The last couple of days have been a lot. I just need some time. I need time to process all of this and decide how I feel. I still don’t understand the texts with Noah, and I would be lying if I said they didn’t bother me.
But I have my farm’s first big show coming up, and I need to focus on that.
My horses and clients need me, and I don’t need all of this drama happening in my personal life right now.
It’s just…too much.” She walked over to where she had left her keys and picked them up before facing me again.
Then she took the knife I’d already felt in my back and twisted it further.
“I know that speaking to Noah before I spoke to you hurt you, but let’s not forget that you lied.
You created this. Don’t manipulate the situation to lessen your fuckup.
I thought you were different than Noah, but now I’m not so sure. ”
She made her way to the front door and left without saying another word, leaving my heart shattered into a million pieces on the floor and a giant gaping hole in my chest. I rubbed my chest reflexively to ease the crushing blow and reminded myself that this right here was exactly why I stopped doing relationships.
It had been a couple of weeks since Addison walked out of my house.
I hadn’t heard from her at all and honestly wasn’t sure where that left us.
I went to the office early. I stayed at the office late.
Sadly, I didn’t think I’d ever been as on top of my work schedule and client paperwork as I was now.
As I was finishing up at the office for the evening, a knock on the doorframe startled me.
There, leaning against the entrance to my office, was my brother with his arms folded across his chest.
“Archer? What the hell are you doing here?” I closed my laptop and leaned back in my chair.
“Harper told me what happened between you and Addison. You’ve left all of my calls and texts unanswered for the last two weeks, so I figured I’d do a welfare check. You look like shit, brother.” He pushed off the doorframe and sat down in the chair across from me.
I scrubbed my hand down my face and rolled my eyes. “Thanks, man.” Yes, having access to a plane whenever you needed one was great, but it came with its downfalls too. Exhibit A: my brother randomly being able to show up at a moment’s notice.
Archer leaned forward, propping his elbows on his thighs, and studied me. “You okay?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “No, not really.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry, man. I hope you guys can figure it out. Harper mentioned some text exchange between you and Noah about Margot? Is that true?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What do you think?”
He held his hands up defensively. “I didn’t think so. I told Harper that too. I’m not sure how Noah pulled that one off, but I knew there was no way you would say any of those things, let alone to Noah, of all people. Harp said she would relay that to Addison.”
I nodded. “Tell her thanks. How is Addison doing? Did she say?” I rasped. Fuck, how desperate does my voice sound?
“Harper may be Addison’s best friend, but she has your back too. She fucking hates our cousin.” He chuckled. “But yeah, Addison is okay. Sad and confused, as you can imagine. I was in Boston, so Harp flew in with me. I dropped her off at Addison’s.”
“Good, I’m glad she’s here. How much time do you think Addison is going to need before she’ll talk to me again?
” My chest ached thinking of how hard these past two weeks had been, and I wasn’t sure I could take much longer without her.
Without talking to her, without touching her, without just being in her presence.
This hurt like hell. All the Margot bullshit was child’s play compared to this.
Archer blew out a breath, which did nothing to ease my anxiety. “I don’t know, brother.”
All I could do was nod. I was such a fucking idiot.
All of this could have been prevented if I had just told her the truth about Noah from the beginning—all of the truth, not just pieces.
I should have had enough trust in our relationship, in her, to know that the truth would not make her think differently of me.
Fuck, what a mess I’d made. As much as I wanted to smash my fist through Noah’s face, this was my fault. Not his.
Archer pushed out of the chair. “Harp said she was going to stay the night with Addison. Let’s go grab a beer, and then tomorrow let’s go find Noah.”
The mention of Noah made my eyes snap up to his. “Noah is still here?”
Archer chuckled, a menacing look in his eye. “Nah, man, we’re taking a little field trip back to Boston. Harper knows where his apartment is.”
I pushed to my feet and cracked a smile for the first time in weeks. “Let’s fucking go.”