Chapter 10 #3
"I have no idea."
Alex laughed despite herself. "Thanks for the reassurance."
"Call the former detective."
"What are you up to?" Alex asked.
"I have a few threads I want to pull."
"Claire, be careful. Candace signed off on us bringing Kapralov in."
"What does that have to do with me?"
"I need your hands."
"That's a little awkward, Alex."
"Trust me. Claire. It's not the kind of hands-on project you're used to. You'll probably need gloves."
"That sounds like a personal problem."
Alex laughed. "You really are an ass."
Claire chuckled. They both needed the levity.
"I'll be sure to keep all my useful appendages safe," Claire said.
Alex kept chuckling. "Goodbye, Claire."
Claire hung up the phone, grateful for a return to their comfortable banter. It might seem inappropriate to most people. They weren't most people. Humor was sometimes the only way to survive a world steeped in uncertainty.
"I wonder if the gloves are leather?"
"We may have a problem."
"It's your job to ensure that we don't have problems," Waters said. "What is it?"
"Jane."
"What about my daughter? I thought you had her well in hand."
Silence.
Waters's amusement faded. "What about her?"
"She's missing."
"Missing?" Waters chuckled. "You misplaced my daughter?"
"I'm glad you find this amusing."
"Janie is as capable as anyone in this business, Joshua. She isn't missing."
"She is."
"Perhaps she simply doesn't wish to be found."
"Where is she, Don?"
"You think I know?"
Joshua waited.
"I haven't spoken to my daughter since I died."
"How about after your resurrection?"
"I think we both know Jane has no desire to see me."
"Are you sure about that?"
"She isn't here," Waters said, his tone becoming serious. "What was she working on?"
"I'm not aware of her working on anything."
"Sphinx is always working."
"She hasn't claimed that title in years."
Waters chuckled. "And you think that means she relinquished it?"
Joshua's stomach turned. "She didn't take the news well—about you."
"Understandable."
"Toles and Brackett will?—"
"If Jane doesn't want to be found, no one will find her. Trust me on that."
"And if someone else doesn't want her found?"
The conversation stopped, the only sound being the two men breathing through the line.
"Then may God have mercy on their soul," Waters said, "when I find them."
Alex stood outside the bedroom door.
Dread.
That was the prevailing emotion she felt.
She opened the door slowly.
Cassidy was lying on the bed with a book in her lap.
"Close the door, Alex," she said without looking up.
Alex did.
Cassidy set her book on the bedside table with a sigh. She looked at Alex.
"Come here," she said.
Alex kicked off her shoes and crawled onto the bed beside Cassidy, her head falling onto Cassidy's chest.
Cassidy played with the soft waves of Alex's hair.
"I think Mackenzie gave you a few new gray hairs today," she said.
Alex chuckled. Then she sighed.
"I'm worried, too," Cassidy said.
"I'm so tired, Cass."
"I know, love."
Alex closed her eyes, relaxing underneath Cassidy's touch.
"It never ends."
Cassidy didn't reply.
Alex looked up at her, surprised to see Cassidy smiling gently.
"Cass?"
"No," Cassidy said softly. "It doesn't end."
Alex shook her head.
"But that's true for everyone, love."
Alex opened her eyes and blinked.
"Our world is bigger... and smaller at the same time," Cassidy said.
"You realize that doesn't make sense?"
Cassidy nodded. "Maybe that's part of the problem."
"Huh?"
"Trying to make sense of everything," Cassidy said. "Pretending we can change everything—prevent every bad thing from happening."
Alex sat up.
"I don't think we can change everything," she said.
"No?"
"No. I just?—"
"Want to?" Cassidy asked.
Alex chuckled lightly.
"Someone has to try," Alex said.
"I agree. And there are many people trying, Alex. You. Claire. Candace. Mrs. Dearborn. Mackenzie. Cooper."
"It's not all the same."
"No. It isn't. It all matters."
"Maybe. It isn't all equal."
Cassidy nodded.
"You disagree?"
"Truthfully?"
Alex nodded.
"I do."
"Cass—"
"Alex, you can't stop people from making terrible choices. You can't change the way they see themselves, the world, or other people."
"That doesn't sound like you."
"No?" Cassidy asked.
"No. Isn't that why you loved teaching? To help shape kids? Isn't that why you wanted to work for Candace? To help her shape perception?"
"Yes. That's all true."
"So, help me out."
Cassidy smiled. "I tried to help my students challenge themselves. Challenge their preconceptions. Discover something they hadn't considered. And I believe in Candace's vision. I believe in her. That doesn't mean I'd make all the same choices."
"But you support her choices."
"I support her reasons for making them," Cassidy said. "And part of my job is to promote her decisions—to frame them in the best light possible. Even if I might have made a different choice."
"Would you?"
"On some things? Yes. Just because Candace is my best friend doesn't mean we always agree, Alex. Just like I don't always agree with your choices—or Claire's—or the kids'."
Alex sighed.
"That's what I worry about the most."
"What?" Alex asked.