41. Ivy
Ivy
W ithout the weight of the Order bearing down on us, we fell into a schedule. Except for missing Cam, life went on. Maya, Katya, and Sergei went to school daily, never mentioning how they missed Clearhaven. Strathmore suited them, the fresh start where no one knew what tragedies had occurred in their lives. Sergei never discussed going back to the Forsaken, which was a relief. The life he’d been thrust into vastly differed from the one he’d grown up in.
Trey worked for Dominic on projects he never detailed or mentioned to any of us. Niko was still the caregiver, ensuring everyone had whatever they needed. He sat down with the teens for homework, packed lunches, and folded laundry. Caleb helped Ros run things in Clearhaven from a distance. From our texts, she seemed more than happy to reign as queen, even if she still secretly worried about Rhyker.
Maya and Katya had given Frankie a makeover one night when she stopped by after leaving the hospital, painting her nails and coloring her hair a vibrant purple. She’d smiled at the teens and told them it was the best her hair had ever looked. Despite everything, she looked happy.
Rhyker was set to go home soon, which meant Frankie would also leave with him. She’d said that she needed to open back up her shop and muttered under her breath that someone had probably busted the windows out by that point. Hopefully, no one had, not if they knew what was good for them. If Frankie discovered who it was, she’d probably show up with her shotgun.
We hadn’t spent nearly as much time together as I wanted. Her whole reason for being in Strathmore had changed over time. I had so many questions I still wanted to ask the person who I discovered was my grandmother, but they could all wait. Our timing had always been trash.
I sat beside Rhyker as he pulled a t-shirt on, mumbling about how the hospital was a prison. Frankie cut him a glare and pursed her lips, but said nothing. “Today’s the day?”
Rhyker gave me a small smile. “I know we don’t have a relationship yet, not really, but I wanted to tell you thank you.”
I lifted an eyebrow at him, curious about what he was talking about. “If it hadn’t been for you, they would have killed me. One night, after leaving a bar, three men wearing black jumped me. At first, I assumed they were looking to fight, but… None of that matters. If it hadn’t been for you, they would have dumped my body in the ocean. I know you gave up a lot when you ran away from the guys. I just wanted to say thank you.”
He didn’t meet my eyes as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed, waiting for the nurse. I folded my hands in my lap, unsure of what to say. When I’d left the apartment, I had no clue they had Rhyker. Because of grief, I had just assumed it was Cam, that somehow, he was still alive. When I saw Rhyker lying in the hospital bed, I knew I couldn’t abandon him.
I gave him a soft smile and lifted a shoulder. “What else is family for?”
The guys I’d surrounded myself with taught me things that my family had never taught me growing up. Family meant support and sacrifice. It meant people who were willing to do whatever needed to be done for others, even if the cost was steep. Even if it cost you your life.
It was something I admired and hated in the same breath.
He looked up at me and cleared his throat, his eyes shining with emotion. “But yeah, today’s the day. Ma needs to get back. You’re safe for now, and I need to make sure Angel doesn’t forget that Ros is my girl. He’s a little too comfortable with her.”
I snorted at him. Ros’ relationship with Angel and Rhyker was more complicated than mine with the guys, probably in part because she refused to commit to anyone. It’s not like I could blame her. Her entire life, she’d been promised to someone that she didn’t love. Angel and Rhyker would do anything for her. One day, she’d realize that.
“That might be a good idea. Better mark your territory now.” He narrowed his eyes at me when Frankie laughed. “But seriously, be safe.”
Frankie stood up and embraced me in a tight hug. “One day, sweet girl, you’ll have to come see me. After your heart heals, you know where I’ll be. If those boys don’t take care of you and my great-grandchild, then I’ll take care of them. Permanently.”
I grasped her tighter knowing that she meant every word she uttered. She continued speaking in a low tone. “You’re foolish, but I can’t thank you enough. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost both of you. From now on, I need both of you to be safe.”
Rhyker scoffed lightly at her. “I can’t promise you that.”
Between his proximity to the Forsaken and Ros’ to the Order, he spoke the truth. I could be hidden away carefully in the shadows, where no one could find me. His position was too public to hide. For Frankie’s sake—and Ros’—I hoped he could stay safe just for a bit longer.
I watched Frankie drive off in her truck, and a wave of sadness hit me. I didn’t know the next time that I’d see her. Things seemed like they had calmed down, but what if?
What ifs were something that plagued me daily despite the comforting words uttered by the men that surrounded me. What if members of the Order retaliated? What if we weren’t safe? What if the baby wasn’t healthy? What if they grew tired of me and the sadness that attempted to suffocate me? The one that still refused to die, despite logic, was what if Cam really was still alive?
Hunter’s girlfriend Rayne stood several feet away, observing me. The worst of the winter was over already, and the events of the past several weeks were an endless blur. She walked over to me and put her hand on my upper arm before frowning. “I think that the two of us should talk.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I immediately thought the worst. Was she going to tell me that her hospitality had run out? Was it time for all of us to stand on our own two feet? She seemed to read the thoughts running through my head and gave my arm a squeeze. “Not like that, Ivy. We should grab something to eat. I want to tell you more about myself.”
I sighed in relief, and we started walking down the city street. Nearby was a small deli I had never been to, and we ducked inside. Joey was always our shadow, ensuring our safety. She gestured to him to sit with us as she passed me a menu.
“Once, after I had met my guys, I’d been kidnapped, too. I was held in a basement, much like you were. It wasn’t for as long, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as what happened to you.” She stopped speaking when a waitress came to take our order. After she left, she continued. “Hunter told me some of your past and was hoping I could help you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say or how to feel about her opening up. I also wasn’t sure how she could help me. The look on my face gave away everything I was thinking. “I know that you probably feel helpless and weak. So many things have happened that were outside of your control. I think that it’s time to take that back.”
I took a sip of the water the waitress had brought. “How do you do that?”
Her lips twisted upward. “How do you feel about arson?”
If any of the guys, mine or Rayne’s, knew what we were doing, they would have had a conniption. I could only imagine Caleb telling me I was never allowed out of his sight again, or Niko running a hand down his face in frustration. Instead, I rolled down my window and let the brisk air hit my skin. Something was calming about it, reminding me I was still alive despite everything else.
Rayne had asked me which place hurt the most: the Gilded Lily or the abandoned mansion from New Year’s. I couldn’t answer her then, so she chose me. Both places hurt in different ways. One had scarred my heart, and the other had scarred my soul. I didn’t know where we were heading, but I knew Joey was tucked into the back seat with a disapproving look on his face.
Gasoline and rags were carefully tucked away in the SUV’s hatch, waiting to be used. When we pulled up in front, Rayne shifted the vehicle into park. Joey mumbled under his breath, and she narrowed her eyes at him. “I have another surprise for you. Your best friend is here.”
The Gilded Lily was the last place I ever expected us to end up, yet there we were. From the window, I could see Rosalyn. She was dressed in a floral sundress, looking like a Southern lady with perfectly coiffed hair and lip gloss. I hadn’t known I was meeting anyone when I had gotten ready for the hospital. After the last several weeks, Rayne had gotten used to my appearance. I didn’t bother to dress up unless it was expected of me, like when I was with Ross. Around the apartment, I wore the guys’ shirts with sweatpants, my hair thrown into a ponytail.
Even though Trey said he would buy me new clothes, I hadn’t even bothered to go maternity shopping.
Now, the contrast between the two of us was notable. She was polished and perfect, looking like she was born to lead. She embraced me and held me tight. “I’ve missed you. How are you?”
I swallowed the emotions, and words threatened to choke me whole. The truth was that Ros was another piece of me, a reminder of a different time. She was home, and a part of me longed for the moments we sat hidden in the graveyard, talking and laughing. Those were days we’d never live again, another moment we never imagined we wouldn’t be able to revisit. Everything changed in the blink of an eye.
“I’m fine.” The stock response was the easiest way to respond. I’m fine was what everyone wanted to hear. No one wanted to know the truth. Sometimes, it felt so raw that I wasn’t sure if I would ever be okay again. Sometimes, it felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces, and no glue could fix it.
I pulled away and put on my best smile, the one people believed, for clapping my hands together. “Why are we here?”