45. Trey
Trey
I placed the paint roller into the tray and pursed my lips. I had done well, keeping my emotions in check since Cam’s death. The problem with painting the nursery reminded me of another time period. I wasn’t painting the room this time because it was necessary. The baby wouldn’t care if its room was millennial gray, like the rest of the house. This time, there was no trash to clean out or sinks to scrub. This time, I wanted everything to be perfect for Ivy.
It was my grand gesture to her.
If I had known that the last time I was painting it would be Cam’s last football game, not just of his college career, I would have put off the painting and cleaning. I would have stayed up all night just to watch him. That was the thing, though, wasn’t it? You never know when the last time is going to be. Everything else could have waited as I watched in the stands.
And then later that night, finding him bleeding. The subsequent stay in the hospital. All of the memories were too much.
I scoffed to myself. An explosion had taken him out. It would have been easy to be bitter. I could have blamed everyone else for the events that had happened on New Year’s. Someone hadn’t set their time correctly. It was a dumb mistake, and it cost all of us.
I would have thought that something else would have killed him. A bullet to the chest when he talked too much shit. A stab wound to the kidneys at a bar for being too arrogant. Hell, maybe a heart attack when he grew old and lost his hair. I shook my head and pushed up my glasses.
The past didn’t matter now. All that did was the future. I sat on the carpet and waited for Ivy. Caleb and Niko were bringing her by so we could surprise her. The walls were painted a creamy yellow, perfect for teddy bears, footballs, or giraffes. All she had to do was pick out what furniture she wanted.
She hadn’t seen the house yet. It was bigger than any place that I had ever lived, with plenty of bathrooms. I made a note to myself to purchase organizational containers for the teenagers so their makeup and nail polish didn’t engulf the house. I wasn’t exactly a neat freak, but the state of the bathrooms at the apartment was abysmal. Lip gloss and eyeliners were kept in a cup on the sink.
When I heard a car outside the house, I stood and walked down the stairs, wanting to see her expression. It was everything that I had hoped for. Her entire face lit up, and I smiled. I couldn’t help it. She rushed over to me, throwing her arms around my neck. “It’s perfect.”
“Anything for you, new girl, but you haven’t seen the rest of the house. Just the front door.”
She squeezed tighter, nearly cutting off my breath. “It doesn’t matter. It’s perfect because it’s ours.”
A new SUV sat in the driveway with a bow on it. We needed a vehicle that wasn’t borrowed from Dominic. Something to carry Ivy to her appointments and the baby to the doctor. Something to carry Belle to the vet. That was another thing that the house had. A backyard. Somewhere the baby could play and Belle could run free. Stupid dog. She was a constant reminder of who Cam was underneath everything–a reminder of the fact that even though he could be cruel, he could also be kind to those in need.
I led Ivy through the house, her fingertips grazing against the counters and the walls. The smile on her face never left. She found the project I had been working on all day when she climbed the stairs. She wiped at her eyes, trying to conceal the tears that she’d shed. I grabbed her wrists and tugged her closer. “You don’t have to hide from me. Ever.”
I’d seen the darkest parts of her. I’d also seen the best parts. No matter what, I would love her. The way I felt was unconditional.
“Now you have to decide how you want to decorate it.”
She sniffed and kissed my cheek. “Thank you.” She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Bumblebees. I think that would be cute. Plus, they remind me of…” she trailed off and walked over to the window. She didn’t have to finish that statement. They reminded her of spring, even though now, no matter what, spring would never be the same. Spring was simply the season that came after winter.
One day, she would feel differently. We all would. It just needed more time. We couldn’t heal in a few weeks or months. Until then, we just had to make the best of a tragic situation.
“Want to see the bedroom?” I asked, my chin resting on her shoulder.
That was my other surprise. A sanctuary to shelter her from the rest of the world when it was too harsh, complete with a bed big enough for all of us. Now, unless she wanted time away from the rest of us, we could sleep in the same place. It also gave us ample space for other things. It was pure torture listening to her moans and whimpers through the thin walls of the apartment, knowing that I wasn’t a part of whatever was happening.
She leaned back into me. “I can’t wait to see it.”
I led her back down the stairs, our fingers intertwined. Niko and Caleb followed us. When Ivy saw the bed, she fell back onto it, splaying her arms wide. “So much room for activities.”
Never one to miss an opportunity, I crawled onto the bed next to her and pulled her on top of me. I pressed my mouth against hers, my fingers twining into her hair. “So much room, new girl,” I murmured against her mouth.
Perhaps I did need to find a new nickname for the woman who had won my heart, but nothing came to mind. Maybe one day it would.