35. Montana
It’s been a long time since I walked the path from the Mills’s home to mine. It’s different than I remember but familiar all the same. My breathing is ragged, even to my own ears, and I know it’s got nothing to do with trekking through the still present heat.
I want to strangle Evan Mills with one of those pretentious neckties he wore back then for creating the shitstorm of the century. I know Ellison was projecting her emotions onto me more than she was accusing me, but it hurt all the same.
The longer the words were hurled back and forth, the harder it was to ignore those teenage emotions I’d buried deep in the recesses of my soul. I am a grown man, but standing in that house took me back to that night. I know we were young, but my love for her had run through my body as surely as the blood in my veins.
And that hasn’t changed.
It never would.
My boots are heavy as I climb the porch steps, barely registering how I’d gotten here. Grandad’s eyebrows climb up his forehead as I give him a nod and move past him toward my room. I can’t talk about it—not right now.
My body collapses face down on the comforter, and I don’t hold back the muffled outburst at smelling Ellison’s perfume on the fabric.
Rolling onto my back, I stare at the ceiling, my phone vibrating in my pocket forcing my eyelids to squeeze shut as I wrestle the device from where it’s sandwiched between the denim and the bed.
Groaning, I swipe open the group message and pray for patience.
VIENNA: I cannot believe you!
ASPEN: I already booked my plane ticket
MONTANA: No one is gettin’ on a plane
MONTANA: How the hell do you even think you know something?
ASPEN: I can’t hear you they’re starting to board
MONTANA: I swear on Nan’s pot roast you better not be getting on a plane
VIENNA: Then why don’t you reassure your favorite sisters why we shouldn’t come home when you told us that Ellison Mills would not break your heart?!
ASPEN: And that we had nothing to worry about
MONTANA: Seriously—what the hell?
ASPEN: We have spies everywhere
VIENNA: You left with Ellison for dinner, went to her dad’s, and now you’re home instead of at said dinner
VIENNA: Looking miserable and heartbroken
MONTANA: Nothing is wrong
VIENNA: No one believes that lie
ASPEN: Seriously what is the matter with you big brother?
Draggingmy hand down my face, I take a couple of deep breaths and relax the grip on my phone. If I could launch it across the room right now I would, but then they’d really get on a plane, and I don’t have the mental capacity to endure that right now.
VIENNA: STOP IGNORING US!
MONTANA: Stop yellin’ at me
ASPEN: Stop making us yell!
MONTANA: I am fine. Ellison is fine. We had a disagreement.
ASPEN: Who needs to apologize? It’s you, isn’t it?
VIENNA: I dunno…she’s got some rich lady baggage
MONTANA: That South Carolina air is really getting to you, isn’t it?
VIENNA: Love is always in the air—it’s Love Beach
VIENNA: (gif of a beach)
ASPEN: She’s not wrong though…
MONTANA: Y’all need to stay out of it.
VIENNA: Too late
ASPEN: We just want to help
VIENNA: No one deserves their HEA like you do, Montana
MONTANA: What the hell is HEA?
ASPEN: Happily Ever After…
MONTANA: Why not just say that?
ASPEN: You’re seriously uncool sometimes
MONTANA: I’m gonna take that as a compliment
VIENNA: Please don’t
MONTANA: Can y’all just trust me that things will work out in their own time?
ASPEN: But we need to know if we can ship the two of you or if we need to kick her to the curb
MONTANA: Are you on a boat?
VIENNA: (gif of I’m on a boat video)
VIENNA: We need to know if we’re team Montana + Ellison = Forever or if we need to hate her
MONTANA: You never get to hate Ellison okay?
ASPEN: That’s not how it works. She hurts you, she’s toast
MONTANA: You leave her alone. She’s been hurt enough in her life and if things don’t work out with her—y’all will be nice and supportive and NICE
VIENNA: I hate being nice
ASPEN: No you don’t that’s me
VIENNA: Oh, that’s right
ASPEN: But you love her don’t you?
MONTANA: Of course I do. Now, promise me.
VIENNA: I hate that promise
MONTANA: Please?
ASPEN: I hate it more when he says please. I’m picturing the puppy dog eyes.
VIENNA: That’s the worst
MONTANA: Say it
ASPEN: Promise.
VIENNA: Promise big brother.
I letmy phone drop down beside me and close my eyes, a headache creeping into my brain.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
JENSEN: Are you okay?
MASON: Shit man—after all that nice stuff I said about forever and stages of love and life
JENSEN: Too soon man
MASON: Shit sorry
MONTANA: Do I even want to know how you fools know something even happened?
ARCHER: Probably not
ARCHER: But also are you okay?
BODHI: I held them off as long as I could
That last messagehas the ghost of a smile gracing my lips. The levity is appreciated.
JENSEN: I’m the sheriff—I know everything
ARCHER: Your sister texted Bea
MONTANA: Figures. Traitors—both of them.
ARCHER: They’re just worried about you and so are we
MONTANA: You can’t be that worried it’s been like an hour
MONTANA: And we’re gonna be fine
JENSEN: Want me to ticket her dad? Jaywalking? Failure to stop at a stop sign?
MASON: Blackstone Falls has a Jaywalking statute?
JENSEN: Of course it does, don’t be ridiculous
MASON: Well, then you must be writing tickets all day because I saw at least fifteen chickens swerving all over the downtown
ARCHER: Jamison’s cows too
JENSEN: Stay out of it
ARCHER: Just tryin’ to help
BODHI: Grandad just took the ATV outta the barn—I’ll keep you posted
MASON: You just want out of this message
BODHI: I have no idea what you’re talking about
Sighing,I put my phone down again and scrub my hands over my face. Bodhi will make sure Grandad is safe, and even though no one said it, I know they’ll make sure Ellison is too.
Because right now it can’t be me, and somehow that hurts most of all.