36. Ellison
Istab the small trowel into the bag of potting soil again and growl only a little when I get more on the patio than the pot. This was supposed to be relaxing, but so far, I think the only thing happening is that my blood pressure keeps going up.
It’s nearly eight at night, but the sun is still up and I needed the distraction. I hadn’t stayed long after Montana had left me with my father. It was a miracle I was able to drive the truck home with the tears streaming down my face.
Dad hadn’t had a lot to add and what he did I hadn’t wanted to hear—he owed Montana those words anyway. Part of me understood, could grieve with him on the years lost and the things he wished he could change. But my father’s deception was something I didn’t know if we’d ever recover from. The dominoes had been set, one right after the other, quietly added to for years. They’d sat precariously for so long it was like they’d been forgotten.
But the events today had sent them tumbling, the catalyst a woman with my eyes and tear-stained cheeks who I already loved with my whole heart.
My phone dings and I look at the screen, wiping my soil-covered hands on my shorts before picking it up.
BLAKE: Your mother is on a rampage more than normal—just wanted to give you the heads up
BLAKE: Also, did you come back to Savannah for something and not tell me? I could have sworn I saw someone who looked just like you the other day.
I snortbecause no doubt Arden had landed on my mother’s doorstep looking for answers. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that—my own need to confront the woman who had given me life sparking anger in my belly.
ELLISON: She’s my sister
ELLISON: Well, technically half sister
BLAKE: Your WHAT?!
ELLISON: It’s a long story
BLAKE: That I need immediately
ELLISON: Soon. I have to fix things with Montana first.
BLAKE: I thought you were trying to get away from the drama not add to it
ELLISON: You’re hilarious
BLAKE: I know that’s one of the things you love about me
ELLISON: Debatable
BLAKE: I feel like I need to see this for myself
ELLISON: You’re always welcome here
BLAKE: Think Montana would agree?
ELLISON: He’ll like you once he meets you
BLAKE: Debatable
ELLISON: Brat
BLAKE: That’s a given
BLAKE: You owe me a phone call once things settle down
BLAKE: I have QUESTIONS
ELLISON: Yes dear
BLAKE: Take care of yourself and I’ll let you know if I hear anything else about your mother
ELLISON: Thanks, I definitely owe you for that
BLAKE: I’m glad you said it
I snortand toss my phone aside, trying to wedge the plants together without making more of a mess.
The sound of an ATV cuts me off as another slew of curses bursts from my mouth. Sighing, I drop the trowel and wipe my hands on my shorts before standing as Grandad pulls up to the cottage and lumbers over to me, a reusable shopping bag in his hand.
“Does Montana know you took that out for a spin?” I ask even though saying his name physically hurts.
“Ah, I see you’re also enjoying this beautiful summer evening,” he says with a chuckle as he eyes my dirt-stained clothes and steers me toward the patio chair. He waits for me to sit before taking his own, his eyebrows inching up like he thought I’d put up more of a fight.
But I don’t have it in me—not today.
Pulling two bottles of soda from the bag, he twists off the top before handing one to me, the glass still cold against my hand, and I smile.
“You know I only ever drank these here.”
“Why?”
I shrug. “I guess I aways thought they tasted different. Like after a long day’s work this was the ultimate reward—tasted colder and more refreshing than just picking it up at the store. I’ve never been able to replicate that feeling anywhere else.”
He nods but doesn’t say anything for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts—mine most likely spiraling faster than his.
“Do you think he should be the one to apologize?” Grandad says slowly. “Or is it you?”
Opening my mouth, I’m about to respond when something stops me, a lot of somethings. I’d been so wrapped up in my own world and my own grievances with my family. I’d been relying on Montana to help shoulder the burden—be my knight in shining armor.
But did I ever try to be his? Had I always just assumed he was invincible? Like he was strong enough to withstand the darkness of the world I’d grown up in?
He’s your father, Ellison. You can’t understand that level of rejection.
“I don’t know,” I say finally, and Grandad nods before turning to look at me. His smile is soft, understanding, and I feel the fragile curtain I’d hung start to fall under his kind eyes.
“I hate seein’ my two favorite people so upset.”
“I know, Grandad, but—” He waves me off and I swallow the half-hearted excuse I was going to give him.
“Montana told you about goin’ to see your daddy?” he asks and I nod. “It was a long time before he was ready to talk about it. Years. He turned to the farm, working the land, building a legacy away from prying eyes. Just waiting to be ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“For you.” He lets the words hang between us. “Didn’t think it’d take this long though.”
“He pulled away and it hurt. I was away at school and missed him so damn much. I wanted to transfer home but…”
But my father wouldn’t hear of it and now I knew why. To reaffirm the point, they’d bought a house close to campus, my mother demanding weekly dinners. I’d never felt more isolated—if driving me and Montana apart was the end goal then it worked.
“I know, Dolly. And my heart hurts for both of you. Montana’s always wanted what Nan and I had. Married my sweetheart when she turned eighteen. I’d dropped out at sixteen to work the farm, but it wasn’t such a big deal back then. Learned what I needed to right here,”—he waves his hand around—“and married my girl the second I was able. My grandson has always wanted that for himself; wanted it with you.”
“I would have married him,” I say on a watery laugh. “I would have married him the very same day.”
He nods but reaches over and takes my hand, a seriousness etched into the lines of his face as he says, “I have to believe things happen for a reason.” I open my mouth again but he just shakes his head. “When Nan passed, I was ready to go right on after her.”
“You owe me a good ten or fifteen years, mister,” I choke out and he chuckles softly.
“I know, Dolly. But when you get to be my age, the years of your life you spent by someone’s side far outweigh the ones that you don’t, and I lost a part of me I’ll never get back.”
“I’m so sorry I stayed away. I loved you both so much and I never came home.” The words are choked as I scoot my chair closer to wrap my arm around his and lay my head on his shoulder.
“We knew you loved us and how hard it must have been for you to stay away. She looked forward to your weekly call—loved teachin’ you the things she loved.” His voice is tight, a shuddery breath escaping as he says, “I have to believe there’s a reason the good Lord didn’t see fit to take me too.”
“You’re not allowed to go until our kids are at least in college, maybe after.”
His body shakes with silent laughter, and I lift my tear-filled eyes to see his staring back at me. “I don’t need to live long enough for you kids to have to wipe my ass.”
“We still need you,” I say, swallowing hard. “I still need you.”
Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he whispers, “I know, Dolly, I’m not goin’ anywhere,” before pulling a container out of his bag and setting it in front of me.
“You got an apology tour in there too?” I joke, my heart both heavier and lighter since he arrived.
Chuckling, he removes the lid and I snatch a cookie and shove it in my mouth before he’s able to grab one for himself. It’s so good. The butterscotch is decadent and the perfect complement to the light, chewy texture.
Grandad hands me another before taking one and sitting back in his chair with an amused expression.
“Did you know that Montana takes the blame for me gettin’ the tractor stuck?”
“You do it on purpose,” I say without question because there isn’t a piece of equipment that he couldn’t run, fix, or create in all the years I’d known him.
“I do.”
“Why?” It’s exactly the kind of thing I’d do just to see Montana all growly with his hands on his hips trying to hide that she did it again smile.
“Because he lost you, Dolly. He lost his spark, and most days I don’t know where he ends and the cotton fields begin. You made him live, and you brought out that little bit of wild that always simmered under the surface with him. He’s the most like himself when he’s tryin’ to keep me out of trouble—has to call the Thayer kids to come help and he gets to be himself for a while.”
“But he takes the blame for it and…”
Grandad’s bushy, silver eyebrows climb his forehead as I let that sink in. Montana had been taking the blame for me for years. To this day, our high school still thought it was his idea to paint 1, 2, 3, and 5 on pigs and release them on the football field our senior year.
He’d gotten detention for a week and community service after. I did his hours right alongside him even though he never ratted me out. Everyone thought I was just being a good friend.
Boy, if they only knew.
I felt guilty, but he just laughed it off saying I was his favorite kind of trouble and that he lived to see me wild—he still does.
“I owe him an apology.”
“I reckon you both do,” Grandad says as he stands from the chair. “Should I leave those?” he asks, pointing to the half-full container of cookies, and I nod.
“Definitely. I’m gonna be stress eating those while I figure out what to do.”
Grandad chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s nice having you home, Ellison. Wasn’t the same without you.”
“Ugh, stop making me cry,” I grumble as I get up and hug him tight, burying my nose in the collar of his shirt that forever smells like his aftershave.
Halfway to the ATV, he stops and looks at me over his shoulder. “How long should I expect him to be moping around?”
I bite my lip to contain the smile trying to stretch across my face. “At least a day or two. I’m going to have to make him good and mad if this is gonna work.”
“I’ll leave it to you then. I have to go check on Patches before turning in.”
“Oh, hold on,” I say, running inside and coming back with the keys to Montana’s truck. “Tell Mason and Bodhi to bring this home to him since they’re your protection detail tonight.”
“Damn kids,” he grumbles but takes them and meets Mason in the driveway, saying something to make the kid chuckle before starting up the ATV and heading home.
My heart squeezes because it’s where I should be going.
And I will.
But first I need to show Montana what he means to me, not just now but always. The smile that spreads across my face is real and bright as an idea starts to take shape.
Poor guy has no idea what’s about to hit him.