Chapter 42 Same Playing Field
SAME PLAYING FIELD
“You’re jumping right into it, aren’t you?” Elise asked.
“I might as well,” Jocelyn said. “Having Maverick so much in my place made me realize I need more space. I need privacy.” She needed to get Chance to see they belonged together because she knew he was still having doubts, which she hated for him.
That meant taking action.
The years where she changed her behavior, where she let other men take the lead while she waited and wondered were long gone.
Her relationship with Chance told her the one thing she needed to know all along.
The man who would be in her life was the one who let her be herself.
That was Chance.
Now she just needed to convince him of that.
She was looking at available land in a gated community that the Kennedys owned.
“How big of a lot do you want?” Royce asked.
“I think a corner one. Gives me more space in the backyard. I’ll figure out maintenance at another time.”
“We’ve got three corner lots open right now,” Royce said. “Let’s just jump in my truck and head there.”
They were parked at the entrance to the development.
“Is there one where I won’t have to hear too much construction around me? I know that sounds stupid.”
“That narrows it down to one spot,” Royce said, doing a U-turn. “One corner lot where most of the houses directly by it are done.”
“Perfect.” She wanted to say she’d take it. It’s not that she knew much about looking at the land itself. She wanted to see the finished product.
They parked outside, Jocelyn pulling her jacket tight. It’d been two weeks since Christmas.
That morning, she’d woken up in bed alone.
Chance had gotten up earlier and she smelled the coffee and made her way toward the aroma.
The tree was lit up, the gifts sparkling under it for Maverick as if they were diamonds in the sun.
He’d told her he’d never seen so many gifts under a tree at once before. She didn’t think there were all that many.
Chance was giving his son everything that he’d never gotten as a child.
How could you not love a man like that?
She loved the man and his child and knew that it was time to do this.
It would break her again if things didn’t work out with her and Chance, if he didn’t understand who she was and why she was doing this.
But best to know that now before she lost her heart even more. If that was possible!
Royce parked in front of the lot that was fenced off with temporary orange plastic rigging. There were two houses on each side, the land wider in the front than in the back, but still pretty spacious.
“How close to the road is the house going to be?”
Royce walked out with a can of spray paint and marked the spot. “It can’t be any closer than this but could go back further.”
“How about more on one side than the other so I could get more land on the side and back?”
“We can do that,” he said. “If you ever decide you want a pool, it could easily go on the side. This is a much larger lot than other ones. Or go on the back and seating areas off of the side.”
She imagined that in her mind.
“I like those options. I’ll figure that out so that when it’s time to build it I can see into the yard on both sides, right?”
“That will be me and you,” Elise said. “How big of a house are you thinking?”
“Not sure. I want the primary bedroom on the first floor.”
Having Maverick so close by, she realized she wanted that separation from kids.
“What does Chance think of this?” Elise asked. “I’m assuming you’ve talked.”
“No. He’s off this morning. I’m going to text him soon and ask him to come meet me here. Then we’ll talk.”
Royce laughed. “It’s a good place to raise a kid.”
“That’s the hope,” she said. “I’m positive I want this. Just mark it sold.”
“Will do,” Royce said.
They climbed back into his truck and returned to their cars.
She told Elise she’d be in touch later to look at plans, drove to the lot and sat in her car, then sent the text to Chance and dropped a pin in her location asking him to meet her there.
He pulled in twenty minutes later.
“Are you broken down?” he asked. “You wouldn’t say.”
“No,” she said. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have been so secretive. I’m just so excited.”
He looked around at the houses and the plot she’d just told Royce and Elise she was going to buy.
“Excited about what?” he asked cautiously.
“This,” she said, her hand out. “I just bought this land. Or just told Royce and Elise I’m buying it. I’ll sign the paperwork soon. I need to figure out what I want to build on it.”
“You’re building a house?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “We need more space. Maverick is loud and gets so excited. I worry my neighbors might get upset, though no one has said anything.”
“Sorry,” he said. “You should have told me. You can watch him at my place then.”
“No,” she said, throwing her hands up. There he was jumping the gun and not listening again.
“That isn’t what I’m saying. He’s fine. He’s being a kid.
It just made me realize that it’s time for a house.
You even said you were thinking of it. We need more space.
You missed that part. You think things to death.
I can too, but this time, I’m not. This is for us.
If I wait for you to make a decision it will be years. ”
He’d told her he was going to the bank soon. Baylee had been released three days ago and that meant Chance had paid out that money, so he was getting things in order.
Between that and legal fees that could be ongoing and cause more stress on him, she hadn’t wanted to ask what his plans were but feared he’d be cautious and want to let his account build again.
She didn’t want to wait for that when there was no reason for it.
“So now I think you’ve decided that you’re just going to do it for me. That you don’t think I can do it on my own.”
“What are you talking about? I said us. We. Just because I’m paying for this right now doesn’t mean I don’t think you can.
Or that I don’t think you’d contribute, whether it’s money or time, or care for the house.
Maybe I should have asked first, but it’s not like you’d be spending more than you are if you moved in with me. I’d never do that.”
“That’s right. You’re paying for it. More than I’d ever be able to have or afford. I don’t even want to know what a house like this here would cost. Just like your list of daycare centers. All more than I’d ever do. I would have just found a babysitter.”
“Why are you saying this now? If you didn’t like that I helped you, then you should have said something. You were impressed with the place and you can’t tell me that Maverick isn’t learning. Because he’s doing much better than if you just brought him to someone’s house to watch him.”
Could she be so wrong about him? He’d never once said it bothered him that she took charge. Why was he having an issue with this now?!
He even thanked her multiple times and said he appreciated and valued that trait of hers!
He stared at her. She could see he wanted to argue on principle. “That’s not the point.”
“I don’t know what the point is other than you’re mad. Why? This is only two miles from my condo. It’s not that far away. It will add a little drive for you too.”
“You don’t get it,” he said.
“Obviously not,” she said slowly. “So why don’t you explain it to me?”
Her arms were crossed, her toe tapping. Her patience button had been popped.
“You and I, we’ve never been on the same playing field.”
“Stop,” she said, letting out a loud growl. She was going to swing her arms in anger soon. “I’m sick and tired of you not thinking you’re enough for me. Even for yourself. Get your head out of your ass.”
“Talking to me like that is only going to make this fight worse.”
“Bring it,” she said. “This has been a long time coming. Say it like it is. Tell me everything so I can tell you what an idiot you’re being.”
He smashed his lips together, his fists clenched.
“I know who I am and what I’ve got and it’s not this,” he said, his hand waving around.
“I can’t keep up with this and will never be able to.
You’re doing this because you feel sorry for me and what is happening.
You want to give my son things I can’t afford and all it does is make me feel like shit. ”
Wow. He’d never said that before.
Most of the time it was words, but never how it made him feel less.
She took a deep breath to calm down. “I know you’ve got a lot going on. And self-doubt you don’t like to acknowledge, but you’re wrong. Off base completely.”
“Tell me how I’m wrong. Tell me how your car cost more than I make at the firehouse.
Tell me how the cost of your small condo is about all I could afford for a home and here you are building something in a gated community.
Tell me how everything you’ve bought for my son in your house isn’t better than what I bought for him in my house. ”
Her eyes widened. She never even thought of those things. But she wouldn’t apologize for the way she was raised either.
“I’m buying this house because we need it.
You know it, and I know it. If you’re too stubborn to see or accept that times change and that women and men don’t have to have equal bank accounts or that a woman can’t make more than a man, especially when that man busts his ass and is a great person deep down, then that’s on you!
I don’t care about those things, but you obviously do regardless of how many times I tell you otherwise. ”
“You don’t understand what it’s like.”
She stomped her foot and walked a few feet away from him and then came back.
“Chance. I didn’t know if it was possible for you to make me this angry.
No. I love you. I haven’t wanted to say it because I’m not sure how you feel, but it needs to be said, even if it’s in anger.
You need to stop thinking everyone is judging you when they aren’t.
Did I approach this wrong? Yep, I did. I just thought that for once in my life I found a man who accepted me for who I am and that is someone who takes control when life is spinning around. Guess I was wrong!”
Ugh! Why didn’t she see this coming?
She turned and marched back to her car. “Where are you going? You can’t just drop that on me and leave.”
“Yep, I can. And I am. And I did! Think it over long and hard because it seems to me you’ve got a lot to figure out in your life.
When you’re ready, you know where I am. Seeing how you’ve liked that I’ve taken charge before, I’m doing it now by leaving before either of us says something more we’ll regret. ”
She got in her car, slammed the door and sped away, pulling a card from his high school deck and squealing her tires, leaving smoke in her wake.