Chapter 43 Did It Yourself
DID IT YOURSELF
“What did you do to piss Jocelyn off?” Rhea said.
Chance was in his office at the pub slamming things around. Not even anything he needed, just picked it up and put it down with more force than necessary.
“What?”
“I know you and what you do when you’re pissed and upset. It’s a combination of both. I know you’re worked up over Baylee being out on bond now, but I’m pretty sure she won’t bother you. She might even hightail it out of here.”
He hoped that too.
Would Baylee keep her word and leave him and Maverick alone? Just because she signed those papers didn’t mean she was going to adhere to them.
That could be part of the reason he overreacted when Jocelyn showed him the land she was buying two hours ago, dropped the bomb on him she loved him, then sped away.
He couldn’t even chase after her because he was wrong and knew it.
Maybe everything had been building in his mind for months. The differences they had, how they lived their lives, spent their money, or thought of things.
He always wanted to be the one who could provide for a family.
He didn’t want to see a woman work harder or make more than him. He’d seen it enough with his grandmother.
Maybe he had these old-fashioned beliefs in his head and couldn’t knock them out.
“I’m sure she will,” he said. “Not my problem either. The further away Baylee goes the better.”
“Well, if it’s not Baylee, then how is my great-grandson doing? Is everything okay with him? I’ve got to say he looks it every time I see him. So happy and excitable. You weren’t a happy kid, but you had energy that kept me running.”
“Things are going well. We have our moments and I’m reminded he’s two. He’s stubborn.”
Like when he didn’t want to stop playing and go to bed and shouted out his frustration.
“Got to be hard looking at yourself in the mirror minus decades.”
“Yeah.”
“You’re doing a great job with him, Chance.”
“Considering I never had a role model, I suppose so.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” his grandmother said, smacking his arm.
Great. Just what he needed. Two women giving him shit over it.
“I’m not.”
“You are. You rarely said it or showed it, but I know it was there. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better by you.”
This was the last thing he wanted.
For her to feel as if she wasn’t enough for him when she gave him everything.
Which was no different from him thinking it about his life either in terms of Jocelyn.
Why hadn’t he thought of that before?
That Jocelyn had given him everything he wanted and never thought he’d have and his damn pride was the wall that kept growing no matter how much she chipped it down for him to see clearer.
“You did great,” he said. “If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“You did it yourself. Not me. I knocked your head a few times to see the bigger picture, but that didn’t mean you had to listen.”
She had a point.
“I wanted to be here.”
“That’s right. You wanted it. My grandson puts his mind to things and goes after them and nothing gets in his way. What I can’t figure out is why you’re back here sulking before we open when you should be so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”
“I’m not sulking.”
“I’ve got a mirror in my purse to say otherwise. I can shove it under your nose to see.”
“No one carries mirrors in their purse anymore other than old people.”
She squinted and smirked. “Be happy I’m feeling some sympathy for you right now or you’d get another slap on the arm.
Tell me what is going on. Process of elimination it’s your girlfriend because the pub is doing great.
I see the books, so I know. I’m positive that chunk of money you paid out didn’t have your account squeaking. ”
“Close enough for my peace of mind,” he said. Between that and his legal fees, childcare costs and everything else he’d had to come up with in the past few months, he was sweating more than normal.
Even working less wasn’t beneficial, but he wanted to be there for his son too and hoped things would level out soon enough.
As much as he wanted to buy a house he was getting cold feet that he should wait a bit longer to build up his savings.
Did Jocelyn suspect he’d do that?
“Then what is going on? It has to be Jocelyn. Is this all too much for her? I’m just itching to give her a piece of my mind if that is the case.”
“No,” he said. “She showed me the land she was going to buy and the big house she’ll have built on it.”
“Okay,” his grandmother said. “She’s building a house. You’ve been looking at houses too, or said you were going to. Where is that different if she does it or finds one first?”
He blinked his eyes a few times.
“It’s nothing I’ll ever be able to afford.”
“So? She can. Is she asking you to put money into it?”
“No.” And maybe that was some of it too. It felt as if she didn’t need him. Which he knew financially was the case. She’d be fine without him and would she get sick of it?
“Do you want her to? Even if you could afford it? Is that the problem? You’re feeling more for her than she is for you?”
“She told me she loved me right after she handed my ass back to me with road rash on it.”
His grandmother laughed. “You need a good tongue-lashing. My guess, you got your private parts out of joint. See, I was good and didn’t say dick out of joint. Got to be on my best behavior around my little Mav.”
He snorted out a laugh. His grandmother had never guarded her tongue much in his life, but she had been now.
“He loves being around you,” he said.
“That’s right. So Jocelyn shows you the house she wants to build for whatever reason she has given you. Something she’s doing on her own and you’re bent because you can’t provide it for her and you think she’s rubbing your face in it.”
“Never.” She wasn’t rubbing his face in anything.
“Then you think she’s doing it to help you and your pride got damaged. Like she thinks you can’t provide for your child when we all know you can.” He stared hard at his grandmother causing her to point her finger. “That’s the one. Grow up, Chance.”
“I’m not getting any bigger than I am.”
“Grow your mind. Open it up. I could see how she felt about you. Only an idiot couldn’t, and though I might not have finished high school, I’m no idiot.”
“Guess I’m one,” he said. “I didn’t see it.”
“You saw it and you were scared because you’ve got all these ideas in your head that aren’t true. You broke the damn cycle in our life. Keep doing it.”
“I don’t need anyone to think I did it because of who I’m with.”
“Do you really think anyone will believe that other than you?”
His grandmother walked out after those parting words.
The truth was, he didn’t know. He hadn’t thought it before, but everything in the past few months had been one crisis after another.
And Jocelyn had been the one in his corner through it all. That’s what he had to remember.
He got up from his desk and went to the bar. They’d be opening in a few minutes. He’d reach out to Jocelyn at some point, but they both needed time to cool off.
The last people he thought he’d see coming in the front door were Jim and Stacy McCarthy, followed by Grant, Garrett, Diane and Carolyn Fierce.
Stacy was waving to him with a big smile on her face. Didn’t seem she knew what was going on between him and Jocelyn, so that was a plus.
He waved back, his grandmother seating the six close to the bar.
Since no one else was here yet, he walked out to greet them.
“Nice to see you all,” he said.
“We’ve been wanting to come here for months,” Grant said. “But life gets in the way. Now that the holidays are over, we thought it’d be perfect.”
“Diane called and asked us if we wanted to join them,” Stacy said. “I couldn’t say no.”
“Glad you’re here. Tina will be over in a minute, but can I get you something to drink?”
He took their orders and walked away to fill them, then put them on the tray when Tina came to collect them.
The pub was filling up but not too crazy.
There was laughter at the table with Jocelyn’s parents. If he and Jocelyn hadn’t ended their last conversation the way they had, he might have snapped a picture and asked if she knew they were here.
This time he didn’t want to cause more friction. She might think he thought she sent them here.
When their meal was done, Tina went to bring the bill, but he called her over. “They can’t stop raving about the food.”
“Good,” he said. “Give me the bill. I’ll bring it.” He moved over to them all watching him. “On the house,” he said.
“Please,” Grant said, waving his hand. “Don’t even consider it.”
“It’s your first time here. I know how you guys operate. You’ll end up spreading the word and getting me more business.”
“We will be,” Carolyn said, laughing. “Our reach is pretty extensive.”
“See, well worth it.”
“Didn’t I tell you he’d be good for Jocelyn,” Grant said.
“Huh?”
“Garrett and I called this months ago when we watched the two of you together. Didn’t know you’d already started dating or we would have nudged it along a bit more if we could have figured it out.”
“Did Jocelyn know this?” he asked.
Stacy smiled. “Jocelyn knew they were interested but not in you originally. Don’t think that.”
“She told me she had a situationship going and didn’t need our help,” Garrett said.
That was the last thing he wanted to consider their relationship, but months ago he might have said the same thing.
Now, he was in love with her just like she was him.
If they’d talked to each other more it wouldn’t have come to this.
He’d learn from his mistakes like he did most things in his life.
It was time to fix this too.
“It’s more than that now,” he said.
“We can all see,” Jim said. “No pressure or anything.”
“Nah,” he said. “Sorry, I need to get back to the bar.”
He watched them throw cash on the table that more than covered the tab. Tina would be happy.
His grandmother smirked at him. “Do you want to go talk to Jocelyn now that her parents have given you the stamp of approval?”
“What did you say?” he asked.
“Jocelyn’s parents. They obviously like you a lot. I can see. Not sure who the rest of them were.”
It hit him then. He’d been chosen for her and everyone said at that party that whatever the Fierces touched succeeded.
How could they have picked him when they knew nothing about him? Where he came from? Who he’d been with? Nothing.
Because they didn’t see the things he couldn’t push out of his past.
They saw his present.
Jocelyn saw their future.
“Yeah, I need to see her,” he said. “Can you cover for a few hours? She’s off today and I’m not sure if she’s home or not.”
“I’ve been covering crowds bigger than this most of my life. Go. Get your girl.”
“Do you think that was overkill?” Jim asked Stacy on their drive back to the office.
“No. I’m sick of the two of them dancing around each other. My daughter is in love and you can see Chance feels the same way. She brought him to that party with the hopes he’d hear about what the Fierces did and could tell him, then chickened out,” she said.
“I can’t believe she was able to not explain it from what we’d heard that was said to them.”
“Sometimes love really is blind. Maybe now they will open their eyes,” she said.
“Who the hell knows with Jocelyn.”
“She’ll knock some sense into him or I’ll do it to her,” she said, laughing. “I’m not worried. Then all we have left is Jayce and figuring out what is going on with him.”
“Good luck there. Jayce will tell us when he’s ready, but I agree, something is going on.”
“It’s never ending with these kids,” she said, shaking her head.
“They are far from kids, but I’m with you. Things are falling into place, so that’s something.”