Chapter Thirty-Six
He bent and picked her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest. They both stayed quiet until the cabin door was closed and locked behind them.
He set her down on her feet, holding her shoulders until he was sure she was steady. He released her and watched as she moved away, pulling off the throw blanket she’d had around her shoulders for warmth.
Grant’s jaw clenched when she turned, and he got his first good look at her features.
Ravaged was the word he’d use to describe them.
Her eyes were red and swollen from crying.
Her face was pale, making the dark circles under her eyes more pronounced.
He crossed his arms, trying to hold himself back from going to her, stripping her, and sinking as far as he could inside her, showing her in the most basic way that she belonged to him, and he wasn’t going to put up with this shit anymore.
He gritted his teeth. “What happened?”
Jennifer wrapped her arms around her waist, cringed at the livid tone of his voice, and moved around the small cabin.
“You know how often I asked what you did during the day or how many times you had meetings at night?” She continued when he nodded, confusion clear on his face.
“I never thought you might be with another woman, even with what happened a few months ago. And I know that was innocent, but I knew it would happen eventually. I just buried my head in the sand.” She laughed humorlessly.
She held out her hands and desperately shook her head when he took a step forward. “No, wait.”
He stopped and growled in frustration. “I’m still not understanding. Are you accusing me of having an affair?” he gritted out through clenched teeth.
Jennifer shrugged, unable to keep her eyes on his.
“I had to remind myself that what you did was not my business. We’re not married and never really discussed where this was going or if we had a future.
But I feel sick with the thought of you and another woman.
I know it probably sounds juvenile to you.
I thought if I wanted to keep you, I would have to become more sophisticated so you wouldn’t get bored and find another woman.
” She rubbed her forehead. “I can’t do it.
I can’t change myself for anybody. Because if I start to do that for you, you’ll take my spirit over until I don’t recognize myself in a mirror.
You’re so far above me in so many areas. Socially, emotionally, financially.”
Grant’s hands went to his hips, and he hung his head.
He knew they would eventually have to deal with that crap.
Jennifer hinted at her insecurities about their different lifestyles and how much they made.
He thought it would calm her fears with time, but now he had to deal with this.
He looked up, and his eyes stared intently at her.
“What started this bullshit?”
She cringed at the hard, cold edge of his voice. “A woman called and told me you’d been out with other women, and she thanked me because she had a chance with you. The sad thing is, I can see you with her more than I can with a person like me.”
His fists clenched. “Who? This Madlyn woman?” He got his answer when she flinched and paled more.
He looked up at the ceiling, trying and failing to keep his cool.
“So, you’re telling me we went through this bullshit for a woman I don’t know?
” His words escalated until he was shouting.
When she stepped back at his anger, he just about lost it.
“Please don’t back away from me, baby. I would never hurt you,” he said with pain in his voice.
“You have to know I’d cut off my arm before I ever hurt you. ”
“I know that.”
“Then don’t move away like you’re afraid of me.” He waited until she nodded. “I’m sorry I yelled, but please explain this to me?”
“You know Madlyn.” She continued when he shook his head. “I was there the first time you met her.” When he still looked confused and just pissed, she sighed. “The night you met me.”
He threw his arms out to the side. “I do not remember her. That night, all I could see was you. And, baby, every day that passes, it just gets worse. No other woman exists for me. Just you.”
She lowered her gaze, still not believing him.
His chest hurt so much that he was worried he was having a heart attack. “You don’t trust me at all, do you?” he asked.
Jennifer jerked her gaze up to his when she heard the pain in his tone. “It’s not your fault...”
A muscle in the side of his jaw clenched repeatedly. “I fucking know that. I haven’t done a damn thing.” There was a hard edge to his voice.
She moved around Grant to the large window in the cabin’s living room. After a minute, she turned and swallowed.
“Grant, doubt has been there from the start and intensified the stronger I felt for you.”
“Do you believe me about this woman?”
Jennifer shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anymore. She just reminded me how I’ve felt about us as a couple from the start.”
“Which is...” His voice and eyes were growing colder and more remote.
“That we don’t live in the same stratosphere. You’re a powerful, handsome, wealthy man. And I—”
“You’re what?” he gritted out.
“And I’m not. I clean up animal feces all day. You buy and sell businesses worth millions every day. There is no comparison.”
His eyes bore into hers, then traveled slowly up and down her body before returning to her eyes. “So, what you’re saying to me right now is you want to call it quits?”
****
Jennifer
Tears slid down her face. She knew she was hurting him, and she hated that, but it would be better to do this now than in the future when it would be so much harder. She nodded. “Don’t you think it’s better now than later, when it would only hurt worse?”
He walked toward her and stopped when his chest was inches from hers.
“So, you’re going to give up on us because you’re scared? Scared that we might not make it?”
She was silent for a long moment before she nodded and tried to keep her eyes glued to his as tears slowly tracked down her cheeks. “Yes.”
Grant searched her features for a long minute.
His hands cradled her face before he bent and pressed his lips gently against hers.
He raised his head and looked at her for several moments, not saying anything.
He ran his thumbs along her cheeks and tried without success to stem the tears running down her face.
Grant spoke softly to her. “I agree with you. Because I care about you more than I ever have or will ever love another human being, but we shouldn’t be together if you have no faith or trust in me.
Because, eventually, you’ll let your insecurities come between us like you’re doing now, and I won’t be able to handle this again.
” He bent and kissed her one more time. “Bye, Jennifer. When you finally find the strength to give us a chance, find me. I might still be available.” He turned and silently walked away.
All she heard was the click of the door and then nothing.
Jennifer slowly sank to the floor, her legs unable to support her.
Long seconds ticked by when nothing moved.
She started to panic when she couldn’t catch her breath.
She held her breath to help the spasms in her throat relax.
Finally, she was able to inhale a lungful only to scream out.
It came out sounding like an animal in pain.
Oh, God, could a person die from this kind of pain?
She curled into a fetal position on the cold, hard floor and cried until nothing was left. Her throat was so swollen she could barely swallow, and her stomach felt like someone had kicked her with boots on. Eventually, she slept, exhausted from a sleepless night and the emotional upheaval.
When she next opened her eyes, it was dark.
She wondered what woke her until a shiver overtook her whole body, making her teeth chatter.
She moved to stand and groaned at the muscle cramps all over her body.
With every step she took, pain chased through her body.
She didn’t want to live that long if this is what a hundred-year-old felt like.
She moved slowly toward the bathroom, hunched over, unable to straighten. She turned on the heater in the bathroom and closed the door before going into the bedroom to grab the warmest clothes she’d brought with her and pull her hair up.
Jennifer stayed in the warm shower until it started to cool.
The shower and the heater made the coldness of her skin start to fade, but she was afraid the cold, gaping hole in her soul would be there for the rest of her life.
She put on her sweatshirt, sweatpants, and socks before she crawled into bed and pulled all the covers over herself.
She closed her eyes but couldn’t hold back the tears.
She cried herself to sleep again and didn’t wake for several hours.
The next time she woke, it was morning. Jennifer made herself crawl out from the mound of blankets and made her way into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.
She stood by the counter and watched the coffee drip slowly, willing it to go faster.
When it was done, she filled a cup and sat for over an hour, only getting up to refill it.
Her thoughts were so chaotic that she couldn’t grasp just one thought.
She finally gave up, returned to bed, and didn’t wake until late afternoon.
Jennifer saw the time on the clock above the sink in the small kitchen and paused when she couldn’t remember what day it was.
Had she totally blown off work? She started her phone, glad she’d had the mind to plug it in.
A relieved sigh sprang from her throat when she saw it was only Sunday.
She’d be okay if she could find the energy to pack and drive back home.
Jennifer took her time and just concentrated on the road, trying to ignore the pain until she was home. She just needed to take one minute at a time, and eventually, she might be able to take an hour at a time when she got stronger and didn’t feel so isolated and lonely.
****
Grant
Jack watched while she dragged herself out of the car and into her apartment. He pulled over and parked so he could see her door, then texted Grant: She’s home safe, no problems. I’m parked outside her place and will make sure she is watched. Try to get some sleep, and I’ll be in touch tomorrow.
Grant texted back: Thanks, Jack. I feel better knowing you’re taking care of my girl. Call if something happens.
Jack: No problem, Grant. Talk to you tomorrow.