Chapter Thirty-Seven
It was dark out when she pulled into her apartment parking lot.
She dragged her suitcase sluggishly behind her and unlocked her door.
She leaned against the door after she locked it, exhausted.
She left her suitcase where it lay and trudged into the bathroom.
After brushing her teeth and ensuring the alarm was on, she closed her eyes and slept.
It seemed she’d just closed her eyes when the alarm went off.
She pulled herself up and sat. She’d cried so much while she slept, her pillow was not just damp but wet, and she was amazed she had any tears left.
She walked into her bathroom and drank two glasses of water before she peered at herself in the mirror.
Jennifer grimaced at how swollen her eyes were and how pale she was.
She jumped into the shower, soaped herself quickly, and endured another crying jag. She dressed in her usual attire and headed out to the shelter after a few cups of coffee.
“Oh, God, Jen. What happened? Both Grant and Tessa have called so many times for you.”
Jennifer tried to smile but only had enough energy to hold back a new flood of tears. “Can you manage the place for me today?”
Kari nodded.
“Please only interrupt if it’s serious, okay?”
****
Kari
Kari’s eyes worriedly followed her into the office before the door closed. She bit her lip and looked guiltily at Jennifer’s closed office door before she picked up the phone.
“Mr. Batelli, please. He’s expecting my phone call. Tell him it’s Kari.” She only had to wait for seconds.
“Is she there?”
“Yes, Mr. Batelli, she just came in.”
There was a moment of silence. “How’d she look?”
“Truthfully, not good at all. I’ve never seen anyone look as pale as she is and be up and walking.”
Grant cringed and cursed under his breath. “I’m sending Tessa to her. If she leaves or something else happens, call me.”
“Mr. Batelli, wait, I feel guilty. I feel like I’m spying on her.” She heard a deep sigh. “What’s going on with her?”
There was a pause. “She’s been lied to.”
“And it has something to do with you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you two together still?”
“I don’t like answering all these questions, Kari.”
The sound of ice in his voice sent a shiver of dread down her spine. “I’m sorry, sir, but I figure if I’m giving you information, I should know some things.”
“All you need to know is we are still together. She thinks we’re taking a break, so I’m giving her time. I’m doing what’s best for Jennifer. Please do as I’ve asked. I want her happiness above everything, and if I thought I couldn’t fulfill it, I’d let her go.”
“Yes, sir.” She heard him disconnect and set down the phone with shaky hands before sitting. She hoped she was doing the right thing. The fact that he was calling Tessa helped.
****
Jennifer
Jennifer got some paperwork done. If she had to take half a bottle of aspirin and drink a pot of coffee to get through the day, that was okay. She held it together. Barely.
That ended when Tessa barged through the door. Jennifer looked at the concern in her friend’s face and burst into silent sobs.
Tessa pushed the door shut, rushed to her, and put her arms around her friend when she shakily stood. “I’m so sorry, Jen. What can I do?”
Jen shook her head. “Just being here is enough.”
Tessa pulled Jennifer to the old sofa in the office and sat with her, holding her while she cried. She handed Jennifer one tissue after another until this bout of crying stalled. Tessa’s gaze ran up and down and narrowed in concern at the visible weight loss on Jennifer.
“First of all, how long has it been since you ate, Jen?”
Jennifer looked confused at first, then shook her head. Her gaze stayed glued to the crumbled tissues in her hands. “I don’t know.”
“Jesus, Jen. You left here Friday afternoon, right?” she asked, then continued when Jen nodded.
“Did you eat that night?” Jen shook her head.
“Saturday at all?” Again, another shake.
“Sunday? Today?” Another hesitant shake.
“Hold on.” She growled, stood, and walked out of the office.
A minute later, she came back with some crackers. “You can’t starve yourself, Jen.”
Jennifer looked at the cracker she was handed, and tears started to pool in her eyes.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to swallow it, Tessa. My throat is too tender, and my stomach feels like it’s full of lead.”
Tears stung Tessa’s eyes as she pulled her into her arms again. “Can you tell me what happened?”
Jennifer sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Madlyn called, and I guess you could say she woke me up and made me make the decision I should have made months ago. I’ve thought several times that Grant and I are so different from each other.
We live in two separate worlds, and I can’t see our lives meshing for the long run. ”
“You know that bitch lied, right?” Anger vibrated through her words.
Jennifer snorted a small laugh through her tears for the first time in days.
She wasn’t used to hearing Tessa cuss. “Yeah. I don’t know why she did it, but it doesn’t matter.
It sounded so real at the time because she used the name Vanessa.
Remember when I told you about that fiasco?
But she said things I’d been saying to myself all along. ”
“Like what?”
“The relationship will end. It’s just a matter of time, and I’d rather it ends now because I don’t think I’d survive if it happened later. I already love him, Tessa. So much. But we’re so different from each other, I just can’t see it working.”
Tessa straightened her back and looked confused.
“What makes you think it will end? Just because he’s rich? What? For God’s sake, Jen. I wish you could have heard Grant. It was awful. He was losing it. Did you know he called all the hospitals when he couldn’t find you?”
Jennifer’s eyes widened in shock before they filled with tears.
She shook her head, unable to speak. Was it possible he loved her as much as she loved him?
Was he telling the truth at the cabin about how he felt?
He’d never told her how he felt before or talked about the future, besides her moving in with him a few times, and she always thought most of the time he was joking.
Jennifer looked at Tessa, confused. Tessa almost sounded like she wanted Grant in Jennifer’s life when she’d been against them all along. Jennifer opened her mouth to ask.
Tessa interrupted her thoughts. “Yeah, he did. I don’t know where you got the idea it would end. I’ve never seen a man more in love with a woman than him. If you’d see him and talk to him about this...”
“You don’t know for sure he loves me. He’s never said anything about love until yesterday, and we’ve never talked about a future for us. He’s called me ‘Love’ as an endearment, but that’s not the same thing.”
“If that man isn’t in love with you, I’ll eat my shoe.”
Her lips tried to smile but froze. “He found me.”
Tessa was surprised. “He did? What happened?”
“He ended up agreeing with me.” A sob caught in her throat.
Tessa looked dumbfounded. “What was said exactly?”
Jennifer continued to tear apart the tissues and stare at the sofa table. “I just made him see our differences. I talked about money and lifestyles.”
“What did he say?”
Jennifer sniffed. “He agreed with me.”
No way. “And? All of it, Jen.” Tessa asked.
“He said he didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t trust or have faith in him.” The last words were said in a broken sob.
“Oh, Jen.” Tessa held her as her body was racked with sobs. “That’s not agreeing with you about your differences. That was him wanting your trust.”
Tessa waited until Jennifer calmed down before she left the room and came right back with a cold bottle of water.
“Drink this. You’re going to get dehydrated if you aren’t already.”
She drank half the bottle. The cold water made her throat feel better, and she put something in her stomach, so it didn’t feel hollow.
Both women sat silently. Jennifer picked at the label on the water bottle, drowning in despair, and Tessa waited, concerned for her friend.
“Are you feeling better?”
“No. I don’t think I’ll ever feel better.” Jennifer wiped her eyes and blew her nose on a tissue Tessa handed her.
“Go home, Jen. Get some rest.”
She nodded. “I will. It’s not my turn to close, so I’ll leave early.”
Tessa watched her scrape the label off the water bottle and drop the pieces on the table in front of the sofa.
“I want you to rethink your decision. I think Grant’s the perfect guy for you.”
Jennifer jerked her head around. “Whaaat?” She never thought her friend would say that to her.
Tessa gripped one of Jennifer’s hands. “We have always been honest with each other, right?”
Jen nodded hesitantly, warily.
“I think you made the wrong decision.”
“Why? Remember you told me you didn’t trust him, and as far as I know, you haven’t changed your mind,” she whispered as tears started to clog her throat again.
“I was wrong. I should have said something earlier. I’m sorry you didn’t know how my feelings for him changed until now.
I’ve seen you two together. I’ve never seen either of you that happy.
I also know it’s the right decision to have a relationship with Grant because you’re not a quitter and stronger than you think.
” Tessa picked up her friend’s hands and squeezed.
“Look how far you’ve come, Jen. Did you ever, at any time, want to give up or take the easy road because you might get hurt or you might fail? ”
Jennifer looked at their hands. She let parts of her past slide through her mind. All she went through as a child. She cared for herself and made sure she got to school each day and graduated. She had no adults to help her. All the hard work she had to do to get where she was now.
The suffocating sensation she’d felt since she left him started to loosen enough for her to breathe freely.
Tessa was right. She’d come from extreme poverty and abuse, then abandonment, and had made a wonderful life for herself.
Not once did she give up or give in. She needed time to think.
She was so tired, she couldn’t seem to keep a single thought for longer than a second.
She needed to eat and get some sleep. Then maybe she could think straight.
“Go home, Jen. Sleep on it and call me in the morning if you need to talk.” Tessa pulled her into one more hug.
Jennifer nodded, picked up her purse, and followed her friend out of the office. “I’m headed home, Kari. Call me if you need anything.”
“Don’t worry about this place. I want you to feel better.”
Jennifer nodded and tried to smile. “I’ll try.”