Chapter 40
Cairren awoke from the deepest sleep she could remember and found Padraig wrapped around her tightly.
It was as though he shielded her from the world.
She lay without moving as she absorbed the warmth of his body and the security it offered.
When she arrived at Foulis and met him, she never imagined she would sleep next to him.
She assumed they would remain distant, constant enemies.
His presence now was familiar and comforting. But it also wasn’t enough.
Cairren tried to slip from her cocoon, but Padraig pulled her back against his chest and nuzzled her neck. “Fifteen more minutes, Ren. Then we’ll get ready to leave.”
Cairren rolled toward him, their eyes locking on one another.
Without words, their mouths came together.
Padraig’s tongue flicked Cairren’s lips as she parted them for him.
Their tongues tangled and dueled as the kiss combusted into a need that could only be satisfied one way.
There was silent acceptance that this might be the last time they ever coupled, and both needed it to say goodbye.
Padraig’s hand caressed her breasts as she arched her back to him, her mewls fueling his desire as he tweaked her nipples.
When his fingers grazed over her belly, Cairren shivered then moaned when those questing digits dipped into her entrance. She pressed her hips to meet his hand.
As she rocked to each thrust, his thumb circled her nub until she writhed with a burning need to feel him inside her.
She reached for his length, stroking him as he worked her core.
She moved slowly as she marveled as she always did that something so hard and forceful could be so smooth.
She swept her thumb of the head of Padraig’s cock, swirling what leaked from the tip.
When neither could bear the foreplay any longer, Padraig rolled between Cairren’s legs, and she guided him to her entrance.
Padraig paused as once more their eyes met.
They both saw a depth of emotion in their partner’s eyes that conveyed as much as their joining and far more than words could.
Padraig surged into her, and Cairren’s head tilted back as she moaned.
Her exposed neck was an invitation Padraig wouldn’t resist. He kissed the satiny skin and along the taut cords until he reached the erotic spot behind her ear.
Cairren’s body burst, as if into flames, as her release spread from deep within her core.
Padraig wished they could freeze in time just as they were, the emotions and sensations suspended, but reveled in until eternity.
He would forsake his duties, his birthright, everything if he could remain with Cairren.
Her tight sheath pulled him deeper with every thrust until there was nowhere further to go.
They couldn’t be more joined than they were with him buried within her core, their mouths pressed together, and their arms wrapped around one another.
There was nothing between them, nothing that could separate them as they moved as one, a practiced synchronicity.
They hurtled toward their climax, crying out together.
As Padraig’s release filled her, he knew that there was no claim to Cairren greater than their lovemaking.
It tempted him to proclaim his love, but it felt pathetic and manipulative to make that declaration as Cairren was set to leave.
He would use their journey and their time in Stirling to prove it.
Cairren had never felt more cherished or deeply in love than while she and Padraig made love.
She knew that their coupling was no longer just two bodies coming together.
She could see the deep emotion in Padraig’s eyes, and she knew what she felt.
But he made no professions, and she’d sworn to leave.
She considered telling him how she felt, but it would only make the journey and his time in Stirling more uncomfortable.
She knew he would argue against it, but she would send him back to the Highlands while she waited out the winter at Stirling Castle.
It might not have been what she wanted, but it was what she knew was right.
She wouldn’t swear never to return--she carried his child after all.
She prayed that their time apart would be what they needed for Padraig to convince the clan she belonged.
But both her head and her heart told her she was fooling herself, trying to ease the impending pain.
She was certain Padraig would never take their child from her, but she wouldn’t deny him time with their babe.
She assured herself that they would cross that bridge when they came to it.
As Padraig withdrew from her, Cairren wanted to cling to him, not ready for them to part.
She knew she couldn’t. It was her desire to leave that would separate them.
She swallowed the lump in her throat as she willed herself not to cry.
She rolled to her side of the bed and inhaled deeply as she geared herself to dress and leave their chamber for the last time.
She never imagined she would feel so conflicted, or that she would question her decision so much.
Her eyes landed on her chest, and she knew that was the most she would take with her.
She would leave her loom behind since there was no way to carry it with them.
All her other worldly goods had been part of her dowry and now belonged to the Munros.
She didn’t hear Padraig approach, and jumped when he placed his hands on the outside of her shoulders.
He nuzzled her neck and placed a kiss on her pulse point.
“I will ensure you get your loom. It’s special to you, and I wouldn’t deny you something you love.” I wouldnae deny ye aught.
“Thank you. That means a great deal to me,” Cairren choked out.
She didn’t resist leaning back against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around hers.
Padraig kissed the crown of her head, then pulled his arms away.
He watched as she hurriedly packed her satchel with items she would need during the six-day ride.
When she finished, Padraig carried it out to the bailey where a stable hand already saddled her horse.
Lachlan and his men were checking their mounts.
Padraig scanned the waiting steeds and didn’t see his among them.
He scowled at Lachlan, who only shrugged.
Padraig ordered his horse prepared as he approached Lachlan.
“I will accompany my wife. You and your men may return to Dunrobin,” Padraig announced, but Lachlan shook his head.
“I trust you--sort of--but I don’t trust any of your guards. My father tasked me with seeing Lady Cairren to Stirling, and that’s what I shall do.”
“Your company is not needed,” Padraig growled.
“That’s where you are wrong. You have a choice, Padraig: let us ride with you or we ride behind you. But either way, Lady Cairren remains within my sight.”
“Why does this matter to you?” Padraig’s eyes narrowed.
“Don’t be like that. I have no designs on your wife. She is my sister’s friend, and my father is concerned aboot her. I’m concerned, too. What kind of mon would I be if I weren’t after yesterday?”
Padraig nodded begrudgingly. He didn’t want to admit it, but he felt better travelling with more men, ones who had proven they were willing to defend Cairren.
“Very well. Let me arrange for my men.” Padraig turned away to find Matthew, Peter, Henry, and Dougal approaching with their satchels and bedrolls.
All four men looked forlorn, and it made Padraig wonder if they weren’t all a little in love with his wife.
He watched with amusement as Cairren stepped in front of Dougal and shook her head emphatically.
He couldn’t see her finger, but could see her arm move and knew she was wagging her finger at him.
“Absolutely not, Dougal. You’ll do more harm than good.”
“Ma lady, I’ve travelled with three cracked ribs.”
“And how was that? Not so enjoyable, I bet.”
“Hurt a damn sight less than this,” Dougal grumbled.
“And I’ll feel wretchedly guilty the entire time,” Cairren cocked an eyebrow and lifted her chin defiantly. But she softened her tone when she added, “Dougal, I trust you with my life, but I don’t want you to come to harm for my sake.”
Padraig stepped forward and looked around. “What I need most from you, Dougal, is to remain here and keep an eye on my family and the guards. I need to ken whether it’ll ever be safe to bring Lady Cairren back. I trust you.”
Dougal looked between Padraig and Cairren then nodded, some of his sense of purpose restored. Cairren looked at Matthew, and her brow furrowed. “Are you sure you want to leave Catriona and Liam for so long?”
“Ma wife practically pushed me out the door and told me there’d be nay more bairns—nay more practicing making bairns—if I didna accompany ye, ma lady.” Matthew blushed as he listened to Peter, Henry, and Dougal guffaw. Matthew elbowed Henry, who stood closest to him.
“He’s telling the truth, and ye should keep yer gob closed, Henry, or I’ll tell Sarah,” Catriona said as she walked up.
Henry fell silent, but Peter and Dougal only laughed harder.
Catriona stopped next to Cairren and smiled widely.
“I wanted to thank ye one last time, ma lady, for saving me and ma bairn.”
“And thank ye for saving ma lass, ma lady,” Elspeth said as she joined the two women. “I regret what I said when ye first arrived. I’m truly sorry, Lady Cairren. Ye’ve proven to be better than any pale-skinned lady.”
An awkward pause followed. “I’m glad you changed your mind, Elspeth.” Cairren wasn’t sure what else to say after Elspeth’s last comment. It didn’t seem appropriate to agree.