Chapter 42 #2
“Does that mean you’ve forgiven him for what you must have suffered?” Caitlyn’s temper flared as she listened to Laurel describe the woman who was the bane of her sister’s existence. She grew frustrated listening to what sounded like Cairren accepting less than she deserved.
“It means that I can look back now, and some of it doesn’t hurt as much. Some of it, I may never get past. But I have gotten to ken Padraig, and I have seen how he’s changed. He’s matured significantly in a brief time. He’s become a mon I care for.”
“Yet you’re here, and you haven’t agreed to him joining you at Dunure,” Caitlyn pointed out.
“I don’t know what I will do. My priority was to get away from Foulis and Padraig’s family.
They’re what’s keeping me from considering a return.
I have decided naught beyond that. I suppose it’ll depend upon what King Robert and Queen Elizabeth decide.
And it may be several days before I’m summoned before them. ”
A knock at the door had all three heads turning at once, and they laughed. Cairren went to the door and opened it a crack. Padraig stood on the other side. She opened it wide enough to slip out. When he looked over her head and nodded, she suspected he’d caught sight of Laurel.
“I wanted to be sure you were settled and that you’d seen your sister,” Padraig confessed. He appeared shy and unsure for the first time. It lent him a boyish charm when he didn’t know where to look. She half expected him to scuff his boot on the floor.
“I’m well, Padraig. I didn’t tell Caitlyn and Laurel everything, but they have the gist of it. They deserve to know, and I would rather they hear my version than whatever gossip will spread.” Cairren bit her lip and debated whether to tell Padraig what she learned from Laurel.
“What is it? You’re debating whether to tell me something. Is it aboot Myrna, something Laurel told you?”
Cairren nodded but remained quiet. The silence drew out between them until Padraig finally nodded.
“Laurel knew aboot you and Myrna before I left. You ken she’s the one who warned me.
She also kenned aboot Duncan. She discovered them together years ago—even before you began courting Myrna, so Myrna convinced Laird Ross to send Laurel here.
He thought he was sending his daughter to find a husband, but Myrna was banishing her.
All so that Laurel couldn’t share Myrna’s secret.
Laurel’s upset and feels guilty for what her sister did. ”
“Laurel may be older and can have a wickedly sharp tongue to those she doesn’t like, but I know now that she has none of the cruelty and manipulativeness that Myrna does. Laurel’s shallow, but she wouldn’t devise such an elaborate plan kenning it would hurt so many people.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t sure that I should bring up Myrna. I—I don’t know how you feel aboot her right now.”
“You want to ken if any part of me still loves her. Nay. I don’t.
My anger has settled, though I admit the hurt hasn’t.
I’ve had long hours on horseback to consider what was beneath my nose, but I never paid enough attention to see the truth.
” Padraig’s lip curled in disgust. “I saw what I wanted. Now I realize Myrna became the person I wanted to see. She said and did what she knew I wanted from a wife. I should have kenned she was too perfect.”
“That’s just what Laurel said,” Cairren whispered.
“There’s so much I wish I could take back, Ren. But I can’t.” Padraig ran his hand through his hair.
“I know. And I’m not angry with you like I used to be. Though it’s sad to say this, you haven’t hurt me in a while.”
Padraig turned to the wall and rested his forearm against it before leaning his forehead on his arm. “No wife should ever be in a position to say that.”
“The past can’t be undone, Padraig. What is done is done. She’s not a part of our lives anymore, and you’re not the same mon I met.”
“I hope I’m a better one,” Padraig whispered.
“I believe you are.”
Padraig straightened and looked at Cairren’s earnest face.
He wanted to believe that she loved him as much as he did her.
He was tempted to tell her right there in the passageway how he felt, but Cairren deserved better than an admission when anyone could overhear.
“Will you allow me to escort you to the evening meal?”
Cairren was prepared for the request, and she’d already decided she would accept.
She didn’t want the entire court buzzing about them sitting separately.
There would already be talk about her staying in a ladies’-in-waiting chamber rather than the suite assigned to Padraig or a matron’s chamber.
“I would like that. I’ll be ready in a quarter hour. ”
“I’ll wait for you here. I would like to meet your sister.
Would she be able to sit with us?” Padraig feared Caitlyn might want to gut him, but he understood the sisters had a unique relationship that differed from Duncan’s and his.
He knew the sisters were close, and he didn’t want to keep Cairren from spending time with Caitlyn.
He realized he didn’t even feel the need to talk to Cairren or garner her attention.
He simply wanted to be close to her. Cairren slipped into the chamber with a smile.