Chapter 38 Likes You More
LIKES YOU MORE
Eleven days later, Farrah got the dreaded call she’d been waiting for. Tucker only ever texted when he had Archer, if that.
The entire Disney trip lifted her son’s spirits and had him talking about his father in texts in ways that she’d never heard before.
The amount of fun they were having.
The trips they went on.
The adventures they did.
It wasn’t just about learning, but experiencing.
Was her son going on crazy rides and playing sports? Nope.
But he was having a ball and learning that life was about trying new things.
She couldn’t have been any happier than she was and the pictures and videos she’d gotten eased her heart and soothed her soul about the time away from him.
Tucker and Archer returned to Wilmington yesterday, with Tucker going to work today. Two more full days, and on Saturday she’d see her son again.
“Hi, Tucker. Is everything okay with Archer?”
It was six and she was cooking dinner for Jayce. He was on his computer and turned his head when she picked up the phone.
“He’s fine. I’m going to pick him up in a minute.”
“Where is he?” she asked, frowning.
“If you must know, my neighbor two down has a few kids around Archer’s age. He’s a colleague of mine and his wife stays home with the kids. She’s watching Archer until Saturday.”
“That’s wonderful,” she said. “I’m sure he’s thrilled with that arrangement.”
“I’m sure he is. What I’m not thrilled with is the fact that you’ve got a boyfriend who spends enough time around my son that it’s all I’ve heard for days.”
Her shoulders dropped. “And it’s taken you this long to call me about it? And I’m not sure why you even care because you’ve dated since we divorced. Oh wait, you were dating while we were married.”
“I don’t give a shit who you fuck,” Tucker said. “Just don’t get my kid involved in it.”
Her face had to be as red as it felt because Jayce was up and next to her in a heartbeat.
“What did he say?” he whispered.
She waved her hand to Jayce. She didn’t need that macho behavior right now.
“I won’t be talked to that way,” she said. “What you do with women and how you treat them is on you. I happen to be in a relationship with Jayce. It’s been several months and we love each other. Archer loves being around Jayce. They get along great.”
There was silence on the other end. “How long has Archer known?”
“Archer has known Jayce longer than we’ve been together. Because you know, you canceled his spring break trip and left me in a bind. I’ve known Jayce for years and he offered to watch Archer. They were friends first.”
“Bullshit,” Tucker yelled. Must be he was home because he’d never lose his temper in front of anyone. “No one does that. There had to be more going on or he was using our son to get to you, and if that is the case, I don’t want him in Archer’s life.”
“You have no right to tell me who I can and can’t be in a relationship with. No one was using anyone else. He’s a great guy who I was friends with in high school. I grew up around him and his family who are prominent people in Durham.”
“Yeah, I heard. I also heard that he’s buying Archer’s attention with stories of his old job and playing sports with him and doing physical activities rather than academic ones.”
“Oh my God. Are we going down that road again? Because you just spent ten days with him doing a combination of things, most of which you’d never do on your own, and he had the time of his life. Or do you think some nine-year-old can fake that?”
“I had to do that shit to get him to stop bragging about Jayce. Do you think I liked half of it? It’s not what I wanted to do!”
She ground her teeth. “It’s not about you. It’s about Archer. This was supposed to be a trip for him or was there something else going on you didn’t tell me about? Did you have to go there for work and leave Archer with your friend? Is that it? Because Archer said he spent a few days with them.”
“Kirk and I had a conference to attend together. Archer stayed with his wife and their children for three days.”
“Three days total he stayed with them? You left our son alone with someone he didn’t know for three complete days and had no interaction with him?” She was pacing around the kitchen. “Why didn’t he tell me that? Or did you tell him not to?”
“What do you take me for?” Tucker shouted. “I picked him up at night and we stayed in the hotel and then he went back in the morning.”
“But he didn’t spend that time with you. He spent it with them having fun, didn’t he?”
“By then I was sick of doing shit. As you said, it’s about Archer. He had a good time so what’s the big deal?”
She took a deep breath in and out. “The big deal is that you just called me to give me shit over not knowing I had a boyfriend and I’m positive it’s more about the fact you don’t like that our son would rather be with Jayce than you.
It’s all a competition to you. So you had to work hard at being a father so that he wanted to be with you too.
That’s what is eating you up right now. Just admit it. ”
“He’s my kid and shouldn’t be talking about another man that way,” Tucker said. “You’re turning him against me.”
“Fuck you, Tucker. That’s what I’ve got to say to it.”
“Do you talk like that in front of Archer? Just one more reason for me to go for custody.”
Her heart sank, but she was going to stand her ground. She wouldn’t show him any weakness or he’d prey on it. “I said it before and I’ll say it again. You’ll never do it because you can’t even spend two full weeks with your son before you’re pawning him off on someone else.”
“I don’t give a shit who you sleep with, but keep those men out of my son’s life.”
“You can’t make me. Because if you do that, I can come back and do the same to you and we both know you’ve got a more active past than me. If you want to have a better relationship with your son, then you need to work on it. I’ve been telling you this for years. This is on you and no one else.”
“I give him what I can.”
“You tell yourself that,” she said. “You ask yourself if it’s enough and if you want more because we both know you don’t.
You work endlessly to win and when you’ve got the prize then you lose interest. Archer is yours and once you got him, you lost interest. I get it now.
I never realized it before, but now I see it.
You don’t want to work for what you think is already yours, but that’s happening now. ”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“I know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve got competition.
Male competition for your son’s attention and it’s eating you up you might not be able to win.
But what you don’t understand is this isn’t a game.
This is life. This is your son’s life. There is room for everyone and until you realize that, I’ll break another record and tell you—you’re losing your son on your actions and only yours. ”
The phone disconnected in her ear.
How dare he hang up on her?
She stared at it in her hand, internally battling if she should call him back.
They’d only fight more.
He wouldn’t take it out on Archer, she was positive.
The only reason the fight was as bad as it was, was because Tucker needed to use her as his verbal punching bag to get it out.
“What’s going on?” Jayce asked. “As if I couldn’t figure it out.”
“He’s not pissed I’m dating someone, he’s pissed that Archer likes you more.”
“I’d be bent if I were in his shoes, but as you said, he made his bed. That’s all on him.”
“Exactly. And if you had a child that you had to share with another man, your son would still love you and love being with you. You’d be hurt if there was someone else in his life, but deep down you’d know if it was good for your kid, you’d accept it.”
“In time,” he said. “Thankfully, I don’t have that situation. Could you be that way if Tucker were remarried?”
She sighed. “In time. If she was nice to Archer. If she treated him well and made him happy, then I’d be happy my son was content visiting. Tucker can’t and won’t be that way.”
“Because it’s about winning?”
“It’s always been that way,” she said. “I told you, I suspected it when he was hitting on me. But he made me believe it wasn’t true.”
“And when he got you, he lost interest?”
She shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know. I’m not going to profess to know. But I believe it with Archer. Tucker takes for granted that our son should just fawn all over him even though he makes little to no effort to be part of his life.”
“You’re at fault too, Farrah.”
She spun around after putting her phone down to glare at him. If her eyes could light him on fire, he’d be doing his best stop drop and roll impersonation. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that you’re never honest with Archer about his father.
The guy sends you money to buy gifts and then you play it off as if Tucker did it himself.
Don’t you ever stop to think Archer can figure it out too?
Not that his father can’t be bothered, but that his mother is covering for him.
I don’t know, if I was Archer, I’d start to wonder what else might not be true. ”
She paled hearing that. “You know nothing about it. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“Commendable, but not always right. I’ve been in your life three months.”
“That’s right, three months.”
How dare he judge her? Or criticize her parenting?
“And in those three months I’ve witnessed Archer’s disappointment that his father didn’t pick out his Easter gift nor his birthday gift, and I’m willing to bet when he gets home, you’ll find out that other things happened on this trip and he’ll want to know if you knew about it beforehand.”
“I didn’t know anything about the trip. Like Tucker had some conference for three days and left Archer with a colleague’s wife. I’m positive that is why the trip got changed to California. It was about that and not Archer.”
“Well, since we are fighting, I’m going to take a page out of your book. It’s not up to you to decide how he spends his time with his son. Sounds like Archer had a great time for the other seven days and shouldn’t that be all that matters?”
“Only because Tucker had to exhaust himself trying to do things to keep up with your name being brought up all the time,” she said. “That was Tucker’s complaint.”
“Again, your fault,” he said. “You could have brought my name up prior and it wouldn’t have come as a shock. All of this could have been avoided.”
“You don’t get it,” she said, spinning away from him to pace.
“You think you do. You think you’ve got this great read on me and our lives, but you’re wrong.
There isn’t much pretty about divorce and even less pretty about it if one person is trying more than the other.
Should I have brought your name up before?
Sure, I could have. But he wouldn’t have asked me anything.
He wouldn’t have asked Archer either. The same result would have happened. I know Tucker.”
“If you knew him so well, then you could have said something,” he shouted back.
“You could have said, hey, I’m in love with this guy.
He’s great with Archer. Archer loves him back.
You should know so you don’t get your nuts in a vise if it comes up.
All you had to do was set the stage and you didn’t. That’s on you.”
She took a step back from those words.
Jayce wasn’t someone to lose his cool. Not that she ever saw.
That he was yelling at her and not even defending her was more than a shock.
The fact he wasn’t wrong was a bigger bitter pill to swallow.
“I don’t need two men in my life telling me everything I’ve done wrong,” she said. “I think you should leave.”
“Just like that? We have a fight and you’re telling me to leave?
You don’t want to talk it out? So when Archer comes home on Saturday, what are you going to tell him?
Here is the thing, Farrah. I’m not Tucker.
I’m not walking away. I’m not giving up.
And I’m not leaving you or your son. If you want me to walk out that door, it’s only for tonight for you to cool down.
Tomorrow, I’ll be right back here fighting. Because that’s who I am.”
She burst into tears.
Jayce—the man who had always been everything she wanted—had just done the one thing no one else ever had.
The very thing she’d feared all along.
She’d pushed him, tried to drive him away with her words, certain he’d walk out like the rest. That he’d decide she was too much, too difficult, too honest. That her life as a package deal wasn’t ideal.
For years she’d carried the gnawing suspicion that Tucker had left because she’d dared to fight back, dared to have a voice. And she wasn’t willing to silence herself again.
But Jayce didn’t flinch. He pushed back, yes, but he never let go. He stood his ground without abandoning her. Proof that he wasn’t just with her, he was in her corner.
He was showing her that her biggest fear could be overcome, even at the worst of times.
And rather than walk away from her tears, he came toward her, he held her tight and let her sob.
When she had nothing else left to give, she lifted her head. “I’m sorry. That was all uncalled for.”
“Don’t be sorry. Life isn’t pretty, as you said. It’s not perfect and it’s sure the hell not going to be easy. You had to say what you did and I had to say what I did. What we do next is more important. Not just for us, but for Archer.”
“For Archer,” she said, nodding her head.
“But us too,” he said. “Come on, let’s sit, let’s talk this out. Let’s agree we aren’t going to bed until we are both comfortable with the results.”
She nodded again. “Yes.”
He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her next to him on the couch. “I love you, Farrah. That’s not changing over one fight. I hope you know that.”
“I do now.”
Which might be the biggest win of her life.