Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Atlas
“So, are you his father now or something? You did a build a family?” The question pisses me off more than I can admit. It takes immense restraint not to punch Seth square in the mouth. I still might.
Noah is Cora’s brother, and I know she cares deeply for him.
I do too. He’s a great kid. She’s done a great job raising him.
I would be honored to have a kid like Noah be mine.
I could be a father figure to him, but I don’t want to overstep with Cora.
We haven’t even discussed it yet, and I’m afraid of what will happen if I approach it.
Cora and Noah have two of the purest souls, and I can’t fathom why her father would just shove them aside like they didn’t matter.
She’s wary when it comes to who she lets into Noah’s life, and I’m so fucking honored that she trusts me with him.
It burns me from the inside that his own father couldn’t see what he had.
“No, I’m not his fucking father,” I spit out harsher than I intend to. When I have kids of my own, I vow they’ll never wonder if they have my love. Cora knows I care for them.
“But that doesn’t matter because I still want to be there for him. For him and Cora both. You don’t have to understand it, or respect my decision, any of you.” I give them all a pointed look. “But she is it for me. Her and Noah are my family, just like you guys are.”
“Okay, alright.” Seth throws his hands in the air in surrender. “I just don’t want to see you get attached, and it not work out.”
“Why wouldn’t it work?” I question him. There is no fucking future scenario where we aren’t together. Cora, Noah, and I will continue adding to our little family unit. She’s let me in, and I’m not going anywhere.
Taking a stack of plates off the counter, I put them back into the cupboard for Emma. Looking at the clock on the wall, I realize I have to get ready to go with Cora soon. We’re having dessert at the Morgans’ in about half an hour.
“I’m done with this conversation. I’ll see you guys later. We’re heading to the Morgans’ soon.”
Seth nods, seemingly still stuck in his own world.
“I still think Cora is too good for you.” Kash laughs, shaking his head.
I don’t disagree with him because she is. I know she is, but I’ll be damned if I do the honorable thing and leave her.
Walking toward the living room, I almost knock Emma over. Grabbing her arm to steady her, I say, “I didn’t see you. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. But I’m surprised at you, Atlas.”
“Why, what did I do?”
“You told Cora you would go with her and instead you bailed on her to hang out with those yahoos.” She gestures toward the kitchen.
Staring at her, my brain tries to catch up. “What are you talking about?”
Putting her hands on her hips, she stares me down. “I’m talking about how she left with Noah, and you just told her you’d meet her there. Not exactly a good impression.” She tuts.
She left? “What do you mean, she left?” Why would she leave and not say anything? Brushing past Emma, I head into the living room to find it empty.
Whirling around, I face her again.
“What did she say? Exactly.”
She looks at me strangely, then explains, “She told me she appreciated my kindness, as if she needed to.” She shakes her head. “And that you told her you wanted to stay here for a bit with them.” She gestures behind her, to where the guys now stand.
“That makes no sense. She didn’t come to talk to me. Did she tell you guys she was leaving at all?” I ask, looking at each of their shocked faces.
“What the hell? Why wouldn’t she take me?
” I ask aloud. It doesn’t make sense. Sitting down on the couch, I think about how the evening went.
Lunch was nice, and her and Noah seemed to relax, even after the spill.
Pulling out my phone, I go to her contact and call, frowning when it goes straight to voicemail. That’s not like her.
We started cleaning up, and Emma sent her out here with a bowl of apple pie and ice cream for her and Noah. Glancing at the table, I see the empty dishes, and my heart drops. No.
“No,” I whisper. “No, no, no,” I chant over and over, grabbing my hair with my hands, feeling the panic seizing me.
“What’s wrong?” Emma sits next to me on the couch, but I shoot to my feet, pacing back and forth.
“Dude. What’s your deal?” Rhett asks, concern marring his face.
Freezing mid-stride, I look at them. “She heard,” I mumble. It takes them a minute, and their faces all fall. It’s the only thing that makes sense.
“Give me your phone!” I shout at Kash. She likes him.
She’ll answer for him… right? The panic I feel gets worse as his call goes straight to voicemail too.
Putting my back against the wall, I face them, her lack of answer written all over my face.
The urge to hurl his phone at the wall is overwhelming. This can’t be happening.
Sliding to the ground, I feel my head spinning. She couldn’t have heard, I tell myself. Perhaps she decided to go ahead first and will send me the address later.
Pulling my phone back out, I quickly type a message and hit send.
Me:
Hey. Where’d you go? Answer your phone.
Please.
Both messages remain undelivered, and it confirms my worst fear. She heard us. Banging my head against the wall, I know I’m screwed.
“Fuck!” I shout.
“Watch it.” Emma points at me, but I can’t find it in me to care. “Someone better start explaining right now.”
“Cora overheard us.” Four sets of eyes swing in my direction.
“You don’t know that,” Rhett says softly.
Scoffing, I show him my phone screen. “My phone call went to voicemail, and now my messages are undeliverable. What does that tell you?”
“What did she hear?”
No one answers her at first. The guys all look at each other, no one wanting to explain.
“We were talking in the kitchen,” Seth offers.
“Okay, and?” Emma’s arms are crossed as she looks between the four of us.
“And we may have expressed some concerns about Atlas being with Cora.”
Emma’s eyes narrow as she asks, “What concerns?”
“She shouldn’t have been listening in on a conversation that was meant to be private,” Seth spits out.
How the fuck could he blame Cora? Pulling myself off the floor, I lunge at him and punch him in the jaw. Fucker.
“Are you serious?” I scream at him. Kash comes to grab me, but I don’t stop. “That’s your defense? She shouldn’t have been listening. Fuck you, Seth!” I don’t even know why I’m still here. I have to figure out how to find her. She’s got maybe a fifteen-minute head start. Shit, that’s a lot.
Rhett helps Seth off the floor, and I take immense satisfaction in the way he works his jaw and winces. Good. I hope it’s fucking broken.
“Atlas!” Emma yells. “What’s gotten into you?”
Shaking out of Kash’s hold, I grab my coat and gesture toward them.
“They all thought I should watch how deep with them I was. Apparently, I’m Noah’s daddy now, and they don’t think I should be,” I spit out, glaring at them.
“I’d be so fucking lucky to call that kid mine, along with Cora, and now it’s ruined because she probably heard me say I wasn’t his fucking father because I’m not!
” I shout. “We hadn’t talked about it yet. I want them both.”
My entire chest feels like it’s going to cave in with that admission, and I don’t know what to do.
“If he was my son, I never would have left him! I never would have chosen drugs and alcohol over either of them.” Judging by the looks on their faces, I can tell they didn’t know. It doesn’t matter, though.
“Atlas, we didn’t know,” Kash says softly.
“It doesn’t matter what you knew,” I bite out.
“It doesn’t matter that only I knew her parents treated her like shit her entire childhood, just to use her as a caretaker for Noah as a baby and an ATM until they were too fucked up to take care of him.
She only has custody of him because they’re dead.
Got plastered one night and fucking wrecked their car.
It’s only a miracle they didn’t have Noah with them. ”
Shaking my head, I glare at them.
“She’s raised him on her own for five fucking years, and then I happened.
I met them both, and she let me in.” My voice breaks.
“She let me in, and now, after hearing what she did, she has the wrong idea.” We just talked about trust, and how easily it’s broken.
I feel like I just shattered what trust she had in me.
“Atlas, man.” Kash grabs my arm. “We didn’t know. Cora hides it all well. We just didn’t know where your head was at.”
Shrugging out of his hold, I take in their stunned faces.
“It doesn’t matter now.” I push past him and out into the cold.
I ignore Emma calling my name. I don’t have time for them.
My Firefly has a head start, and I can’t bear to think of what will happen if I don’t have her.
I won’t go back to the darkness I was living in before.
I won’t survive not having her in my life, either of them.
When I pull out of Emma’s house, I ignore the looks of the guys crowded on the porch and head across town to her house first. The lights are off when I get there, and her car isn’t in the driveway, so I know she’s not home. Using my key, I let myself in anyway.
“Cora!” I yell out, rushing up the stairs. “Noah?” Her house smells of vanilla, and the blanket we were lying under earlier is still haphazardly draped across the back of the couch. The sight of it breaks my heart. I have to get her to listen to me.
I have no idea where the Morgans live, so I look through the drawers in the kitchen, hoping to find a stray Christmas card, an invitation, anything that would have their address.
She has to hear me out. I won’t stop until she does.
Coming up empty, I move back to the living room and look at the frames on the shelves.
There are photos of Noah and her over the years, along with Mila, Mara, and their parents, and then there are the photos of us. We added more than the one Emma initially took.
There’s one of me and Cora at the shop, a selfie we took on my birthday.
We both have large smiles across our faces.
She trusted me and gave me the most precious gift, and she doesn’t realize how much I cherish it.
Another from our group at Halloween. I wanted to kill Kash when he told her she was a sexy assassin.
After replacing the photos, I take another look around and decide to wait. If she isn’t home now, she will be eventually, and she’ll have to talk to me. I won’t leave until I see her. She has to let me explain. If she won’t, well then there’s always Plan B. I’m not above kidnapping.