Chapter 25 #2
‘I shouldn’t have let you walk away,’ he says, his voice raw like he’s been talking for days. ‘But I was terrified. Terrified of ruining your life. Terrified of not being enough. Terrified of how badly I wanted a child that could never be.’
‘I know, Ax. And I’m sorry for that. I told you…’
Because no matter what else has passed between us, I can’t bear that I was the spark to all that pain for him.
‘Not as sorry as I am. I should’ve told you the truth from the start. And I didn’t. I still haven’t.’
I frown. ‘What truth?’
His throat works, his eyes burn, his fists flex like he’s fighting the urge to reach for me, but I’m not ready to go there. Not until I know what this is.
He wets his lips, a nervous gesture he rarely shows. ‘I didn’t agree to the pact just because I wanted to sleep with you, Taylor.’ His voice shakes. ‘I agreed because I was already in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you.’
My lips part, breath stalling. ‘I… I don’t understand.’
‘It really is simple. At least, according to Theo…’ His mouth pulls into a small, vulnerable tilt that flutters through my heart. ‘I’ve loved you since the day I met you. Since the day you looked at me like I was your bloody white knight. You stole my heart that day, and I never got it back.’
‘But you— you never once said anything, all that time, and you never…’
He gives a small, broken laugh. ‘You always knew I wore a mask; you just never knew the half of it.’
I shake my head, memories racing – all the times we were together, all the times we were close enough to—
‘I think you’ll find the signs were there if you think about it hard enough.
Those movies you made me watch, it was you that held my attention.
Our business in the early days, having to sit back and watch over you with your clients, those that got too handsy…
’ The memory vibrates through his tone now.
‘The way I fought to get you out of that job. The way I needed to always be there, close enough to protect you, far enough not to ruin you.’
‘Ruin me?’ I whisper. ‘Jesus, Axel. When will you understand? You’re worth a thousand other men. Ten thousand. A hundred thousand, even.’
‘And you still believe that?’ His dark brows lift, his eyes sparking. ‘Even knowing what a selfish bastard I was, using your desire for a baby to get you into my bed?’
I let his words sink in, let them twist around my heart, and then I ask the one thing I need to know. ‘You were willing to give me a baby and walk away because it was what I wanted. True?’
‘Yes.’ He nods. Tortured, but certain. ‘I knew it would break me, but I would’ve let you go. I swear it.’
‘And our friendship?’
‘I’d still have been there. Like I always was. Even last night… it wasn’t about leaving forever. It was about giving you the chance at the life you deserve.’
I step forward, head nodding, hand lifting to cover his heart as I look up into his eyes. ‘You were willing to love me up close and let me go so I could have the life I wanted.’ My voice cracks with the bittersweet beauty of it. ‘That’s the very definition of selfless, Ax. Don’t you see?’
‘Selfless or desperate?’ he rasps, his chest twitching beneath my touch, his warmth feeding into my palm as I curl my fingers into his chest. ‘I wanted you for so long. You were the first person to ever look at me with anything close to affection. Was it any wonder I fell fast and I fell hard?’ He covers my hand with his own.
‘I spent my life keeping you at arm’s length so I wouldn’t ruin you – or worse, risk you seeing me for the twisted mess I am.
And then you go and ask me for a baby and I couldn’t refuse.
’ His voice breaks. ‘But when I couldn’t even give you that…
the one thing you so desperately wanted… ’
‘Ax,’ I whisper. ‘I tried to tell you in the car, but you wouldn’t listen.
The thing I so desperately want is you. I want you.
I love you. And if I can’t have a baby with you, I don’t want a baby with anyone.
’ My chest throbs with every word. ‘You are the ache in my chest. You are my heart. You are— Ax, what the hell are you doing?’
He’s dropping to his knees – no, one knee – and reaching into his pocket for—
No way.
The small spearmint-coloured box from Celeste & Co. is unmistakable, and my fingers tremble as I lift them to my lips.
‘What are you doing?’ I breathe.
‘Something I wish I’d had the courage for sooner…’
He opens the box and a pear-shaped diamond twinkles up at me – but he can’t be…
He’s not…
Is he?
‘Harry Sinclair tells me it’s called the Ring of Hope,’ he says, all gruff. ‘Which felt fitting since I’ve only ever known it with you.’
He looks up at me, eyes full of warmth and just that… hope. And he’s never looked more devastating, more beautiful, more mine.
‘I love you, Taylor Stone. I’ve loved you for more than half of my life, and I will go on loving you forever more. Whether you say yes to me now or not, you’ve got me. I am yours.’
My knees hit the carpet as I fall towards him, tears already pouring freely as I pull him close. ‘And I’m yours, Ax. Always. Forever. Yours.’
His arms crush me to him, his mouth claiming mine in a blissful reunion that is everything and not enough at once.
‘I can’t believe I thought I lost you,’ I whisper against his lips.
‘You and me both, Baby Girl. But you could never lose me.’
He groans softly as he deepens the kiss, lifting me into his arms and carrying me to the bed without breaking away, the ring still clutched in his fist.
‘So… is that a yes?’ he rasps.
‘I think technically, you still have to pop the question…’
And yes, I want to hear the words.
I can feel his smirk against my mouth.
‘Taylor Stone,’ he murmurs, teasing my lips apart with his tongue… God, that feels good.
‘Will you do me the honour of being my Baby Girl for life?’
I laugh through tears, hands buried in his hair. ‘If that’s you asking me to marry you and be your wife, then yes. Yes. One thousand times yes.’
Theo clears his throat at the door, and I duck behind Ax, cheeks blushing at being caught making out like a teen.
‘Kind of busy in here!’ Axel growls out.
‘Just checking it’s the right kind of busy so Sadie and I can be reunited with our daughter…’
He holds my gaze, eyes blazing. ‘Yeah. You’re good to go… and Theo?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Thank you. You and Sadie.’
‘Any time, bud. You’re lucky you’re worth it.’
‘He isn’t wrong,’ I murmur up at him.
‘Still don’t know about that, but I’m definitely one lucky son of a bitch right now.’
And then he’s kissing me: victorious, certain, mine.