Chapter 25 – Luke
LUKE
For the past three days, I’ve dreamed of Eden.
I wake with the floral scent of her shampoo wafting around me and the phantom weight of her body still in my hands.
I hear her laugh, see the golden spill of her hair around her shoulders.
I remember her gorgeous body, both as PrairieSmoke and as the girl on the couch whose skin I touched.
Today, just like the other days, I wake up hard as a rock.
I don’t even fight it. I drag off the boxers I slept in and fist my cock, sliding it slowly up and down my length.
Pre-cum beads at my tip. I’m still half-asleep, the memory of Eden’s body under me blending with my dream about her riding me.
I can picture it, her soft thighs spread across my hips, her breasts bouncing as she fucks me.
I’d run my hands up her sides and find all the most sensitive places on her skin.
I’d touch her clit just the way she likes it, making her pussy clench hard around me.
There’s no condom in my fantasy. Maybe I’ll roll her over and release all over her stomach, painting her with my cum. Maybe she’ll slide down and take me in her mouth. Or maybe—fuck—she’d let me come inside her, where no other man has ever been.
I grip myself harder, my teeth grinding into each other as I try to hold off from coming.
I fail. I make a mess all over my hand, and I’m forced to reach for several tissues to clean myself up.
After all that, I’m still hard. It’ll take a second round to even get out of bed, and my body’s going to take a few minutes to get there.
I’m pathetic. I’m like a teenager, so horny for a girl that I’m basically unable to function.
I haven’t even fucked her properly and she still haunts me.
Maybe I should be happy her virginity keeps me from crossing that final line.
She might distract me so much, I’m incapable of dealing with my business, my family, my poker game, or anything else I care about.
Then again, remembering the way her head falls back when she comes, showing off the slender line of her neck, maybe it would be worth it. A whole life of nothing but fantasies about Eden Locke doesn’t sound all that bad.
My cock twitches, reminding me that I’ll need to jack off at least one more time if I’m going to get out of bed today.
This time, I don’t take quite as long. I don’t need elaborate fantasies of Eden riding me.
All I need to do is remember how goddamn good her pussy tastes, and I’m coming again in minutes.
Once I’m spent, I roll over and grab my phone off the bedside table. My only new texts are from my group chat with the guys, unfortunately. There’s only one person I wanted to hear from and I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me. I reread our last few messages, just to torture myself.
Luke
Have you visited Hazel yet?
Luke
She’s cute enough that I changed a dirty diaper and got puked on without complaints.
Eden
Awwww. Haven’t seen her yet!
Luke
Are you working today? Beau and I are going back, you should join us.
Eden
Can’t :( Party prep
Luke
Let me know if you need any more help with balloons.
She didn’t answer. That’s about how all our conversations have gone since I left her on the couch.
She’s not ignoring me, but she’s not effusively responsive, either.
I’ve typed up a dozen texts as a transparent attempt to restart the conversation, but they were all too pathetic to send.
Instead, I just check my phone every ten minutes, silently hoping for a text from Eden.
I have a feeling I know exactly what's going on. Eden got a taste of what I'm really into and regretted it. As slow as I tried to take things, it was still too much. I was too much.
I’m pretty sure she liked what we did. After seeing how she came for me, I’d swear up and down that Eden is just as into bondage as I am, that playing submissive makes her wet as hell.
It can be hard to accept that label, though.
She’s inexperienced enough that she might be uncomfortable imagining a lifetime of kinky sex ahead of her when she hasn’t even gotten any in the first place.
Hell, if I were her, I’d probably want to save my virginity for a nice, vanilla guy. Someone safe.
But damn if I don’t want it to be me. If she texted me right now, asking me to make this real, the truth is, I’d probably say yes.
Then, like I’d wished it into happening, my phone rings. Eden’s name appears on the screen. The fact that she’s calling instead of texting gives me pause, but at this point, I’ll take what I can get.
“Hi,” I answer, slightly breathless. Pathetic.
“Hey,” she says. “Uh, do you have a minute to talk?”
Fuck. Any variation of we need to talk is death for a relationship. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that includes fake relationship with benefits. I take a deep breath and steel myself for the inevitable.
“Sure. What's up?”
“I just thought with everything happening, it's probably time for us to come up with an exit plan.”
An exit plan. That’s not good, but at least she’s not dumping me immediately. She’s not out of my life just yet. Right now, I’m desperate enough to take what I can get.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Years of practice means I’m able to keep my voice light.
Casual. “We want to do this right, so nobody ends up with any hard feelings. I mean, I’m setting up a contract with your brothers to buy grain for a partnered whiskey batch.
We need a way to end things so they don’t think I broke your heart. ”
“Exactly.” Eden sounds relieved. “I don’t want to cause any tension, because frankly, that deal is good for you and my family.
We need to make it clear there are no hard feelings.
Plus, I’ll be more established at Flair.
My brothers won’t be worried that I’ll run back to CamCuties once we’re done dating. ”
Unexpected anger surges through me at the idea of Eden reviving PrairieSmoke. Strange, unknown men shouldn’t have that kind of access to her body. I don’t have any goddamn right to feel possessive of her, but that doesn’t stop it from crowding out every rational thought in my mind.
“You wouldn’t anymore, right? Go back to being a camgirl.”
“Of course not.” Her voice is firm. “It was only a stopgap. I’m doing well at Flair. I can’t think of a reason they’d fire me, and even if they did, I have savings now. I’m building contacts with vendors and local companies and—”
I realize too late that I’ve made her feel defensive. Like I’m one of her brothers, not trusting her to keep herself afloat on her own.
“You’re right,” I interrupt. “They love you at Flair, and you’ve been kicking ass event planning. I know the only reason you’d go back to CamCuties would be if you wanted to. I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.”
She lets out a breath and I can tell she’s centering herself. “It’s fine.”
“So. Your exit plan. Did you have a date in mind?” I’m not exactly pumped to return to the subject, but it’s not like there’s any avoiding it.
“I thought Beau and Brinley’s wedding might be a good official end date. June 5.”
The finality of it hits like a slap. She’s been thinking about this enough to choose a day. At least it’s a date four months in the future. It’s not over yet. I have time to figure out how I’m going to let go of her without ending up miserable. That should be enough. It has to be.
“Makes sense,” I say, “assuming we’re not breaking up at the reception.”
“Of course not. We just stop seeing each other and taper off the selfies to my brothers. Then, we’ll tell them we decided we’re better off as friends. We’ll say it’s clean, mutual.”
“Right. That’s smart.”
I say it because what else am I supposed to say?
That I’d rather drag this out indefinitely?
No. That’s not fair to her. At some point, she’s going to want a real relationship with a man who trusts himself to fuck her.
A man whose kinky sexual drives don’t terrify her.
A man she can introduce to her brothers without being forced into it by a virginity auction gone awry.
I should never have been Eden’s first. Not her first fuck, and definitely not her first boyfriend.
“Nothing has to change right now,” Eden says. “We don’t have to act in front of our friends, but we’ll have to keep up Project Selfie.”
“That’s not a problem.” I’ll take any excuse to get close to her at this point. If she won’t let me taste her again, then posing for selfies will have to serve as a piss-poor substitute.
“Okay.” She pauses. “So I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah. See you.”
I don’t realize until I hang up that I have no reason to see her. No group hangouts, no parties, no events. Nothing to look forward to.
I force myself out of bed. I might as well get to work. It’s what I’ll have left on June 6, anyway.