Chapter 14
“Pass me that brush,” I asked Mom.
I coated my sweet hazelnut bread ring with beaten egg.
Selena had appeared right after Thor left with Lucca for Martha’s house. She came after I didn’t show up to satisfy her curiosity. Not out of ill will, I simply hadn’t had time, and with so many things happening, I’d also ended up forgetting.
“And how is it going at the agency?”
“Well. Everyone is very kind and willing to help.”
“Being the boss’s daughter helps, doesn’t it?”
“It isn’t only that, Mom.” I set the brush aside. “I don’t use that card there. I want to grow on my own merits, not because I’m Rocco Vicenti’s daughter.”
“That makes me even prouder of you,” she said, emotional.
I put the bread ring in the oven, then started cleaning the counter.
“And your classes?”
“It’s a little tiring and more demanding. Of course it would be easier if I were attending classes in person, but I believe it’s a matter of getting used to it. But I’m doing well.”
“You were always very intelligent. You got that from your father.”
“You’re also very intelligent, Mom.”
“Not as much as I’d like. You and your father are exceptional.”
“Thank you, mamma.”
“So, what has it been like having your son’s father here? You haven’t come to visit us since he started living with you,” she pointed out, but there was no accusation.
“I know. I’m sorry about that. I haven’t had much time to stop.
And Thor isn’t living with me. It’s temporary, only until his apartment is cleared…
He helps me a lot. Now I can have a few moments to myself after I get home from work without having to worry about Lucca climbing things around the place. He takes good care of Lucca.”
“And now you also have a dog.”
I looked toward the living room, where Lola was sleeping on the rug, and smiled.
“Lola is adorable and very protective of Lucca. She follows him everywhere and sleeps wherever he’s sleeping. I was angry when Thor bought her because we hadn’t talked about it, you know? He was impulsive. But then I got used to her. Lucca adores her.”
“I don’t know why I never gave you a pet as a child.”
“I don’t remember wanting any pet.”
“That’s true. Is it easier with Heithor here?”
I picked up the timer and mamma the tray with juice and cookies, and we settled in the living room. I grabbed the glass with juice, then pulled my legs up.
“For the household routine, yes.”
“And for you?”
“Look, Mom, I won’t deny he’s a huge help. Thor really does help a lot, but it doesn’t work for us, not the way you’re thinking. He’ll have to go… soon.”
“And where does he sleep?”
“In my bed,” I confessed over the rim of the glass.
“Are you two?”
“No.”
“I don’t understand.”
I told her the whole story, already prepared in advance for her conclusions.
“You could have refused,” she commented after a moment.
“I could have.”
“Love, that means something, don’t you think? Maybe if you thought it through…”
“No.”
“You have to think about Lucca too, my love.”
I returned the glass to the tray, then picked up Lola circling my feet and buried my fingers in her soft fur.
“Do you think I’m obligated to stay with Thor because of our son? I know the others think it would be better if he and I followed the obsolete traditional path.”
“Obsolete, huh? If your father hears that, he might drop dead.” I laughed.
“No, love. I think you have to think about what makes you happy, what does you good, about your son, about you, and of course, about your son’s father too.
I don’t know what happened between you two to make you so wary, and I hope one day you’ll tell me, but you have to weigh everything. ”
“There’s no going back,” I stated harshly.
“I’m only saying…”
“Thor is a great help, but we’re not getting back together.”
“What did he do to you? It must have been very serious for you to be so guarded about telling us. Maybe I should ask him myself since you refuse to be honest with me.”
“Mom, you wouldn’t dare. We’ve already talked about this.”
“You talked, Antonella, and said nothing,” she accused.
“I said everything you needed to know, Mom. Sharing the details of my relationship with Heithor won’t change what happened. It’s done. End of story.”
She opened her mouth to answer, but stopped at the sound of the door opening. I looked back and saw Thor pass through with Lucca asleep in his arms.
“Hello,” he said.
I let Lola down on the floor, and she ran happily to Thor’s feet.
“Mom, this is Heithor Castellammare. This is my mother, Selena.”
“It’s a pleasure, Mrs. Vicenti.”
Mamma waved her hand, with a look of horror that made me laugh.
“None of that Mrs. business.”
“Right, right.” He looked at me. “Lucca fell asleep on the way here.”
“Did he eat?”
“Yes. And he also had a bottle before we came.” Thor shifted his gaze to Selena and back to me. “If you’ll excuse me… I’m going to put this boy in the crib, then take a shower. He drooled all over me.”
Thor was already leaving, but came back.
“Will you stay for dinner?”
“I’d love to, Heithor, especially because I know from reliable sources that you cook wonderfully.”
Thor smiled, and it was devastating, very proud. I focused on Selena, wondering what the hell she was doing, but she didn’t even give me the time of day and continued, smiling.
“Unfortunately, I can’t taste it today. Rocco is waiting for me for dinner. I only came to see my daughter and meet you. We’ve spoken on the phone. It was time for us to see each other formally.”
They had spoken?
“It will be a pleasure to have you here another time.”
“We’ll arrange that soon, Heithor.”
Thor left. I turned to her.
“You made an excellent choice, love,” she whispered in secret. “And may your father not hear me, Heithor is a feast for the eyes!”
“When did you talk?”
“The other day, nothing much.” I was ready to contest. “I have to go, love. You know how your father gets when I’m not there to have dinner with him. He’s a big baby.”
Selena left before I could interrogate her, so I pursued my best source.
I waited in the bedroom. Thor came out of the bathroom with a towel at his hips and another drying his hair. Beautiful. Sexy. Hot. Totally insolent.
“What did you say to my mother?”
“Nothing much.”
Thor let the towel he had used on his hair fall onto the armchair and went to the closet. I was tempted to go after him, but held myself back, going to the towel and putting it in the bathroom.
“Nothing much?” I asked when he returned, pulling a shirt over his head.
“She wanted to know why I was here, whether we were together, and what my intentions were with you, and threatened me with castration if I made you cry.”
“And what did you tell her?”
“That I was an idiot with you, but I’m working to secure our happily ever after.
Castration is unnecessary because I’ll do it myself if I make you unhappy again.
I can’t promise we won’t fight anymore or get angry with each other, that’s beyond me and beyond both of us, but I can promise I’ll give my best to make you happy,” he said simply.
“I’m going to make dinner. Do you want anything in particular? ”
At last, Thor’s apartment was free of every pest, and then I was free of him. My dull routine returned, with the addition of his daily visits.
I should have been happy. I thought I would be, but I wasn’t.
I missed our coexistence. His presence comforted my heart and made that emptiness more bearable, and I resented it and hated it just the same.
Then I blinked, and Lucca’s first birthday arrived.
My little lion, despite not being a chatterbox, attempted words that only Thor and I, and of course Giulia, could understand, including a generous use of mamma.
I had to swallow my pride and even felt a little like a bitch for having overshadowed that moment for Thor back then.
Hearing Lucca pronounce the word was always the best part of my day.
I thought with time it would get easier. What a mistake!
He was discovering himself, and I was rediscovering myself once again.
Lucca was in the phase of climbing furniture and escaping from the crib and playpen.
Thor and I always walked with him, encouraging his attempts to walk.
Soon he was already taking wobbly steps in every direction, hiding in any corner that could fit him, pulling everything down, and putting anything eye-catching in his mouth.
My apartment looked like a playroom with his toys scattered around.
Lucca liked to take inventory of the kitchen utensils and our clothes, so I asked Thor to help me put locks on the cabinets and doors of other furniture.
As if that weren’t enough, getting him to take an afternoon nap had become a sacrifice.
My son was a born explorer.
Lola, his partner in crime, never left his side for anything.
We went to Bellagio, to my parents’ mansion, to celebrate Lucca’s birthday. The whole family, Vicenti and Castellammare, attended, along with close friends.
The Little Prince was the party’s theme.
It was the first of many birthdays, discoveries, and achievements we would share together, and I couldn’t have been happier or more fulfilled. Lucca got more presents than he could handle, but only became enchanted by the motorcycle Nathan gave him.
I satisfied my longing for my best friend and made a video call with Josie.
I spent a lot of time admiring the family’s new little doll, Luisa, Pennelope’s daughter.
The night had settled in by the time I started gathering our things while Thor took Lucca’s presents to the car.
Our families remained faithful, dragging out the party, which now looked more like an adult gathering than a children’s celebration.
My parents wanted us to spend the night, including Thor in the package.
Which left me stunned, since the invitation had been made by Rocco.
I refused, but allowed, with some apprehension, Lucca to stay with them.
I nursed my son while watching Thor and papà talk. They weren’t best friends. They seemed very formal around each other, but they were treating each other well, without harsh looks. That was something.
Thor looked wonderful, as always.
I couldn’t remember a single time I had seen him anything less than perfect, beautiful, and completely hot, or that my heart hadn’t raced like a fool.
I looked at him and breathed deeply.
I lowered my gaze to the safety of my son’s image.
“My little man is going to spend his first night away, huh? You barely turned one and you’re already showing your claws… Yes, you are! Are you going to behave? Mamma is going to miss you so much, love… Oh, what was that? Something serious is happening in that diaper.”
I laughed, wrinkling my nose. The boy farted on my hand and didn’t give a shit about it, literally. His indifferent expression left no denying whose son he was.
Like father, like son.
Mamma came back with two large containers and handed them to Thor.
“We’ll bring him over in the afternoon.”
“All right, papà. Don’t forget that he needs to be changed.”
Rocco wrinkled his nose. “Not even if I wanted to!”
In the car, I looked at my baby in his grandfather’s arms with my mother beside him and sighed loudly. Swallowing that feeling in my throat. Thor put the car in motion.
“What is it?”
He found my hand blindly and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“It’ll only be one night, baby.”