Chapter 8 #2
I picked my spoon up again. ‘I didn’t even know I’d gone viral until my niece brought Ernest over.
I indulged in a couple of hours of doomscrolling, then tried my best to block it out.
I’m only assuming no one knows about my health scare because if it was in the media my sister would have phoned to check I’d still be buying her kids’ Christmas presents. ’
‘What?’
‘I did mention in my speech that I don’t have the best relationship with my family. Apart from my nieces and nephews, who are all adorable.’
‘You said in your introduction that you used to run a business. Are you stopping it?’
Who was this man who asked questions as if he was genuinely interested in my life, as if he listened to and cared about my answers? I’d have been suspicious he was gossip-hunting if it wasn’t for him keeping our previous encounter to himself.
‘My clients decided for me. My “new-found notoriety” was the most common excuse. It makes me sound quite interesting, doesn’t it?
The Notorious Alex Nixon. I could have fought to keep things going, thrown the small print at some of them and insisted they continued our projects.
Once the fuss dies down maybe I could rebuild, but I’m astonished to find I’m doing okay without it.
I’ve been working nonstop since I was fourteen. It’s about time I took a break.’
Will nodded. ‘I know that feeling.’
‘So, you ditched your important job for a – what did you call it? – resin casting business? I have no idea what that is.’
Will got up and fetched something from a nearby shelf.
‘I make things like this.’
He handed me a small, clear, solid cube. It felt like Perspex, but I guessed must be epoxy resin. In the middle of the cube was a nail, half covered in black oil.
‘Um. You put nails in clear boxes?’
Will smiled. ‘This one, specifically, was for Merry from her husband for her birthday. It’s from the rig he was working on at the time.
I also preserve a lot of flowers. I did a feather from someone’s parrot, coins, a shell from a honeymoon beach.
Pieces of material from a baby blanket or a favourite item of clothing after someone dies.
A brass key when an elderly couple sold the home they’d raised their kids in and moved into a retirement complex.
Even a tooth, once. Someone asked me to cast their baby’s umbilical stump, but that wouldn’t have worked.
Pendants containing someone’s ashes is a common one.
I do loads of coasters, chopping boards, doorknobs and jewellery as well as individually commissioned sculptures.
It depends what people want. Here, this is the kind of thing I do with wedding bouquets. ’
He showed me a photo on his phone of two large, clear letters, A and E, hanging on a wall. Within the letters were arrangements of pink, yellow and white flowers.
‘You’re an artist.’
He gave a sheepish nod. ‘Apparently so.’
‘What got you into this? How does a hotshot manager discover they’re gifted in resin casting?’
Will put his phone away. He looked at the table for a moment, and I wondered if I’d overstepped.
‘I wanted something tangible to help my children remember their mum.’
‘Oh, my goodness. I’m so sorry.’
‘Thank you.’ He gave a quick smile. ‘She always kept the aeroplane tickets from our holidays. Even when we checked in online, she’d print them out just to add to the collection.
We had a noticeboard in the hallway she planned on covering with decades of tickets.
I did some research about how to preserve paper, and resin casting seemed like the best way.
Learning to get to grips with the process became a lifeline, in those early days.
Once the kids were in bed, I’d go into the garage and practise, until I was good enough to make them each a lamp with a destination inside.
Then, a couple of other people asked for something similar.
I’d already given up my job when Tilly became ill, so it grew from there. ’
‘That’s so lovely. I mean. It’s awful, obviously, that you all had to go through that. But you taught yourself a whole new skill to make something precious for your kids.’
‘The alternative was lying on the sofa bawling every night. This worked out a lot better.’
‘Can I ask… I mean, if you don’t mind talking about it… When did she die?’
‘Five years ago. Jordan was eleven, Edith seven and Bonnie almost one. It was a living hell, in every possible way. But we’ve adapted, figured out a new normal, for the most part.
’ He trailed off, shifting uncomfortably on the seat before picking up his remaining sandwich, looking at it and putting it down again.
When he glanced up at me, I guessed why.
‘She had cancer?’
He nodded, taking a moment before properly meeting my gaze. ‘Pancreatic. It was so advanced by the time they got the diagnosis, it was too late to do anything. She died fourteen weeks later.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ What else was there to say?
‘I’m sorry. Not an especially helpful conversation topic for you right now.’
I shook my head. ‘No. I asked. And it’s not as if cancer isn’t constantly lurking in the back of my mind. If I do get bad news on Tuesday, it might be nice to have met someone who knows how that feels. I mean, if it isn’t completely insensitive of me to say that…’
This explained why he’d been so empathetic at the surgery. But had my sense of ease in his calm company made me overstep by thinking this was more than a friendly conversation in a café?
‘I won’t, like, latch onto you or anything.
I promise,’ I said, now completely flustered in case I’d given the impression I was expecting him to provide emotional support to a woman he’d spoken to twice.
Especially considering the first time I’d randomly and bizarrely invited him out, forcing him to reject me.
‘I’m an exceedingly unneedy person. I only meant, well, if I see you again here, and you ask how I am, it’ll be nice to know you understand… ’
Will looked at me for a moment, his forehead creasing. ‘Or, how about you message to let me know how it’s gone, and if you want, we can have a conversation about it? Maybe meet for a coffee?’
‘You don’t have to do that, just because I have no one else. If it is serious, I’ll tell my family at some point.’
‘I know I don’t. But I would like to. I’ve had enough bereavement counselling and other support to be able to be friends with someone who might be ill.’
‘Oh.’
He gave a bemused smile. ‘This is Friends Wanted. I think that means we’re officially friends now. If you want.’
I smiled back. In that moment, it was impossible to convey how much I wanted to be friends with Will. The whole conversation might be reminiscent of primary school, but I liked him so much I didn’t care.
‘Yes please.’
‘Okay. I will await your call or message on Tuesday,’ he said, once he’d given me his number for the second time. ‘Maybe avoid three-thirty as that’s the school run.’
‘Christmastime!’ Joel suddenly announced, loud enough to interrupt the different conversations. He waited until he’d got everyone’s attention. ‘Take it away, Donovan!’
‘Right.’ Donovan moved his sandwich plate to one side and pulled out a notebook. ‘Thank you, Joel, for calling us all to order so effectively. Now, after we discussed Darya’s suggestion of an advent challenge last week, I hope you all sent her your words.’
‘Perhaps Darya should fill our new member in?’ Merry said.
It seemed I was now a fully-fledged member of Friends Wanted, whether I liked it or not.
However appalled Fixer Alex was about this humiliating turn of events, Broken Alex told her to shut up and butt out, beggars can’t be choosers and I was choosing to give this group of seemingly genuine people a chance.
Nothing at all to do with the thrill still fizzing in my belly after the man sitting next to me had asked to be my friend.
I had no idea how to be a proper friend, let alone to someone who had been through so much and led such a different life to mine.
Besides, the thoughts tumbling about in my head like toddlers at a Christmas party were way beyond friendly.
Best shut those down before they took hold.
The very last thing he needed was an unemployed commitment-phobe hovering on the edge of a full-on breakdown developing a crush on him.
I would join the group, enjoy the company and the cake, and keep things cool with Will.
‘Okay, so to summarise,’ Darya said, snapping me out of my mental segue, ‘we are all here to enrich our pathetically empty lives. So, we decided to do an advent challenge, to help us get to know each other better, have some fun and maybe end up loathing our lonely lives a little less.’
‘To be clear,’ Merry interrupted, ‘Joel and myself are not lonely. We’re here because the group meets in our café.’
‘Name three friends,’ Darya shot back. ‘I mean, friends you can call if admitted to hospital in the middle of the night and you need someone to be with Joel. A friend who will know when you’re missing Ray and come over to keep you company.
One who when they ask, “how are you?” you don’t say, “fine” or “not too bad”, you tell them the truth. ’
Merry opened her mouth and closed it again a couple of times. ‘It’s not easy maintaining those kinds of friendships with everything else going on.’
‘I know that. Which is why we’re doing the challenge.’ Darya gave Merry a stern look. ‘I am going to try not to be offended that you didn’t list me as one of those friends.’
‘Or me,’ Donovan added.